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Sharp Knives May Cause Harm To Health

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    Sharp Knives May Cause Harm To Health

    Scientists today declared that sharp knives may cause harm to health.

    Speaking out at a press conferance the scientist heading the team who have spent the last 10 years researching this phenominum stated:

    "Over the past 10 years we have taken many knives of different sizes and shapes, sharped them and then attempted to cause harm with them. In every case we can categorically say that we have succeded and with this in mind are 100% confidant that knives can be hazardous.

    The only sensible precaution to take is start an immeadiate blanket ban on knives as they can be dangerous in anybodys hands and they don't even require a power source."

    Our new Prime Minister Golden Brown has stated:

    "This shocking new evidence shows how a seemingly useful implement like a knife is actually a vile accident waiting to happen. This government will legislate against knives immeadiatly to prevent the population from inadvertantly harming itself. It is the right thing to do!!"

    Golden Brown has received support from all majour political parties and as a result Nu Liemore saw thier performance in the polls rise once more.

    With this in mind we expect a snap election which Nu Liemore will win in the next few week. Everyones a winner!!!!

    #2
    That's rubbish. Golden wouldn't legislate against knives, he'd invent a new Knives and Sharp Things Tax and claim it was to help pay for NHS treatments arising from their widespread use.
    It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. www.areyoupopular.mobi

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by oraclesmith
      That's rubbish. Golden wouldn't legislate against knives, he'd invent a new Knives and Sharp Things Tax and claim it was to help pay for NHS treatments arising from their widespread use.
      DUH what do you think legislate against knives means??? You didn't think he was going to ban them did you ??

      Comment


        #4
        Only a madman would argue against this brilliant legislation - which will cut crime - at a stroke.

        But let us not be complacent and forget the deadly menace of - forks.

        Comment


          #5
          Duh ! Yes. Because you mentioned "The only sensible precaution to take is start an immeadiate blanket ban on knives " and that it was to "prevent the population from inadvertantly harming itself.", which kind of implies a ban.
          It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. www.areyoupopular.mobi

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by AlfredJPruffock
            Only a madman would argue against this brilliant legislation - which will cut crime - at a stroke.

            But let us not be complacent and forget the deadly menace of - forks.

            Don't get me started on forks. Coming over here and stealing our jobs. I just don't get all this celebrating diversity in cutlery PC nonsense

            Comment


              #7
              I knew a guy once that fell on a knife.

              15 times!
              Confusion is a natural state of being

              Comment


                #8
                Go fork yourself.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by DimPrawn
                  Go fork yourself.
                  Knife one !
                  It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. www.areyoupopular.mobi

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Here's a news report on the research:

                    http://www.theonion.com/content/vide..._wounds_may_be

                    Comment

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