Sharp Knives May Cause Harm To Health

[ZZZZ Snoozer]

Only a madman would argue against this brilliant legislation - which will cut crime - at a stroke.

But let us not be complacent and forget the deadly menace of - forks.

What are people going to use to cut crime after knives are banned? Scissors can be harmful too....

[Ardesco]

Duh ! Yes. Because you mentioned "The only sensible precaution to take is start an immeadiate blanket ban on knives " and that it was to "prevent the population from inadvertantly harming itself.", which kind of implies a ban.

That's what the scientist said, not Golden Brown!!!

Read it properly dammit!!!

[richard-af]

There was something in last Saturday's Daily Express (I only buy it for the Telly mag, alright?) about a kids' donkey ride in Llandudno (I think), where the kids were prevented from riding on the donkeys, for fear of their falling off, insurance claims, etc., so they put toy sheep on the donkeys, instead. FFS!

[daviejones]

But let us not be complacent and forget the deadly menace of - forks.

I have seen, first hand, the damage a garden fork can do in the garden. We must stand tall, as a nation, and demand that Nu Lieevenmore do something to protect the innocent grass from such weapons!!!!

Come the revolution, they will be the first things to be shut in the shed...with the rake!!!

[Ardesco]

I think we obviously need a new study and of course a period of consultation to determine the exact danger of forks.

I'll need 5 years and a research grant of £129Billion and promise to give you a 100% accurate answer as to how dangerous forks can be when used in anger.

[daviejones]

I think we obviously need a new study and of course a period of consultation to determine the exact danger of forks.

I'll need 5 years and a research grant of £129Billion and promise to give you a 100% accurate answer as to how dangerous forks can be when used in anger.

I can provide the same but for £127Billion, thereby saving the country £2Billion....so I also get a medal!!!

[Ardesco]

I can provide the same but for £127Billion, thereby saving the country £2Billion....so I also get a medal!!!

In that case i'll need £152Billion and an extra £87Billion in 5 years time to complete the research which will actually take 6 years.

With an offer like the above I can't loose (That and the fact that i'll offer to donate £1Billion of the funds to Nu Liemore)

[daviejones]

In that case i'll need £152Billion and an extra £87Billion in 5 years time to complete the research which will actually take 6 years.

With an offer like the above I can't loose (That and the fact that i'll offer to donate £1Billion of the funds to Nu Liemore)

Damn...another gig goes astray!!! Let me know if you need an assistant or tea maker...

[Ardesco]

Will half a billion do you for 5 years ?

[TheFaQQer]

Duh ! Yes. Because you mentioned "The only sensible precaution to take is start an immeadiate blanket ban on knives " and that it was to "prevent the population from inadvertantly harming itself.", which kind of implies a ban.

Just because the "only sensible precaution ... [is a] blanket ban" does not meant that this is the approach that Gordo would take! Particularly if there's a potential tax in there.

Like the potential tax on chewing gum that has been discussed for a while...