New Salesman

[NoddY]

The Sales Team sits in the same area as the team I work in. A new salesman has started, and he's the most arrogant, big-headed, loud-mouthed t0sser I've ever come across. He tells everyone he meets about his sexual conquests, his fast cars, his multiple properties, etc etc, and he's got the most annoying (loud) laugh you've ever heard. But he still lives with his mum.

I can see myself having some fun with this guy. Can you think of any ways I can wind him up?

Tell him his behaviour is a textbook example of males who grew up without a father - i.e. a b*st*ard.

[Let-Me-In]

Change the keys on his keyborad to spell a word that you fell about him. We did this to one person the once and spelt D1ck

If he sells IT support then un plug thier PC and when he asks what is wrong with it you can pipe up and say have you tried re-booting it first.

Just change a couple of keys around (as long as they are used in his passwrod) and wait until he locks his account out.......

[Cooperinliverp00l]

hopefully if they don't lock their workstation when they go away to the toilet or for a fag take a screen shot of his desktop and then apply the image as his desktop image then you can either

1. Lock their workstation and hide the login banner and whatch them try to click on icons and access stuff with no joying. They may even go as far as checking their keyboard is connected.

2. Hide all the icons from the desktop and watch them go through the same procedure as step 1 clicking on icon and not getting anything.

We did this to one person who then raised a call to say no of the icons on his desktop were working ha ha ha

[Euro-commuter]

hopefully if they don't lock their workstation when they go away to the toilet or for a fag take a screen shot of his desktop and then apply the image as his desktop image then you can either

1. Lock their workstation and hide the login banner and whatch them try to click on icons and access stuff with no joying. They may even go as far as checking their keyboard is connected.

2. Hide all the icons from the desktop and watch them go through the same procedure as step 1 clicking on icon and not getting anything.

We did this to one person who then raised a call to say no of the icons on his desktop were working ha ha ha

My God, the old ones are the best. We used to do the same with mainframe green screens: write a CLIST that pretends to be the TSO login but starts berating him for being an idiot when he tries to log in.

Snappier and nastier was on CMS: update his PROFILE with the command LOGOFF.

[Gibbon]

Felt tip his coffee mug.

Put dogtulip under his car door handle ( a particular favourite of mine when I was a Kid)

[Bagpuss]

The Sales Team sits in the same area as the team I work in. A new salesman has started, and he's the most arrogant, big-headed, loud-mouthed t0sser I've ever come across. He tells everyone he meets about his sexual conquests, his fast cars, his multiple properties, etc etc, and he's got the most annoying (loud) laugh you've ever heard. But he still lives with his mum.

I can see myself having some fun with this guy. Can you think of any ways I can wind him up?

Ask him if he was a fan of 80s tv comedy Sorry

[Bagpuss]

A bit like some people on here then?

SAS has gone apparently

[Sysman]

He tells everyone he meets about his sexual conquests

Borrow a really fit bird for a lunch break or to meet you after work and make sure he sees you with her.

That usually works

[Red 7]

No cunning plan required....

just go over and give him a good slapping in front of his girlfriends.

You can always claim provocation when you're up in court for assualt.

[Charles Foster Kane]

No cunning plan required....

just go over and give him a good slapping in front of his girlfriends.

You can always claim provocation when you're up in court for assualt.

No, you want to get him when he's by himself, without his mates around, that's when he's most weak. Didn't anyone ever tell you that about the school bully.