Contractor - unexpectantly pregnant

[mudskipper]

Agree with others that if neither of you have flexibility it's damned hard bordering on impossible unless you can afford a nanny. Child care won't take them if they're sick, which is quite often when they first get exposed to other kids in a nursery / childminder situation. Something has to give.

It sounds like you're on a good rate - remember it doesn't have to be you that makes the big changes. But one of you will have to.

[Gibbon]

Like a lot of other posters have said, just be honest. You seem to be 'over-planning' and attempting to cover all bases, never works; be honest, see what the collateral is and then deal with it. You seem adaptable, intelligent and pragmatic so will cope with whatever outcome. Congrats and good luck!

[Mordac]

My misses had a kid 18months ago and put kid into nursery at 10months, I work full time in London door to door commute 75-80mins with lots of flexibity (get in 10am, wfh day aweek) and misses is part-time works 3 days a week, 1 from home and her office is 15mins from home / nursery. We thought it would be easy with this setup but OMG its been a nightmare reality is if I had been a contractor I would of been kicked out by now, same for misses had she not had a very good relationship with her employers she would of been sacked.

Admittedly my kid got sick a lot but that happens to most kids who start nursery and particularly babies, but my point is you just don't know how your kid will be and it is a lot harder than you might think and the kid has to be your priority over everything, you wont be the same you will be knackered all the time, probably stressed if your kid is sick, everything changes, people don't want to tell you how hard it is but it it (sorry to be so negative ). When my kid was due I was offered another job 10k more I turned it down which at the time I regretted (even posted about it on here) but now in hindsight it was 100% the right thing to do as the flexibility I got from current job worth more than the 10k.

I think only real way you can do it is have a live in nanny and just accept that you wont spend as much time with your kid as you probably should, its tough having a kid, how the hell people manage with more than 1 I do not know.

Agree with all of this. We don't have kids, the step up to a 3-4 bed house was high enough in the early noughties, now it's impossible, but academic, as we're both the wrong side of 45. We have friends locally who've managed, largely through having family locally who do the childcare thing for nothing, or in one case paying cash in hand for a nanny. If they had to pay on the books, they'd be screwed, so basically people are scrabbllng around and hoping to get away with it. The only people who can afford to have kids these days are those whose costs are covered, either by the state or by mahoosive wealth or the generosity of retired parents.

[fullyautomatix]

Just make sure you get all your ducks in a row.

At any cost so not listen to any advice from BP.

Where is MF?? It's his advice you need. Just wait for him to pop up.

[Mordac]

Just make sure you get all your ducks in a row.

At any cost so not listen to any advice from BP.

Where is MF?? It's his advice you need. Just wait for him to pop up.

D'you know what, it just isn't...

[fullyautomatix]

It’s just bad timing and with the urgent project being stopped soon (just tying up some loose ends) I am not in the best position. I wasn’t expecting this conversation until Dec. I could then have said I’m pregnant, I really want to continue working on x project how about we extend for 3 mths from 1 feb?
I want to work up to 34 weeks. The money would be welcome. I can then take time off and contract closer to home.

Just prolong the contract/project as much as possible and stretch it to march. Don't tell him about your pregnancy at any cost. Then just before you are ready to pop, take up the permie offer. Negotiate hard on the perks, car etc so you have as sweet a deal as possible.
Then declare that you are off on maternity. They dare not sack you, every case involving pregnancy has been ruled against the employer. Come back from maternity after a year and demand 4 days WFH.
This strategy will work, I guarantee it.

[Lance]

Contractor - unexpectantly pregnant

Agree with all of this. We don't have kids, the step up to a 3-4 bed house was high enough in the early noughties, now it's impossible, but academic, as we're both the wrong side of 45. We have friends locally who've managed, largely through having family locally who do the childcare thing for nothing, or in one case paying cash in hand for a nanny. If they had to pay on the books, they'd be screwed, so basically people are scrabbllng around and hoping to get away with it. The only people who can afford to have kids these days are those whose costs are covered, either by the state or by mahoosive wealth or the generosity of retired parents.

This is just total bulltulip.

Edit: the bit that says they don’t have kids is enough.

[northernladyuk]

Get the permie offer. Sign the contract. The tell him you are pregnant.

[northernladyuk]

Just prolong the contract/project as much as possible and stretch it to march. Don't tell him about your pregnancy at any cost. Then just before you are ready to pop, take up the permie offer. Negotiate hard on the perks, car etc so you have as sweet a deal as possible.
Then declare that you are off on maternity. They dare not sack you, every case involving pregnancy has been ruled against the employer. Come back from maternity after a year and demand 4 days WFH.
This strategy will work, I guarantee it.

Need to get the permie offer sealed before noticeably pregnant.

[mudskipper]

Need to get the permie offer sealed before noticeably pregnant.

Eat lots of cake, then people will just think you're getting fat.