New Demanding and Arrogant Contract BA at Client Co

[northernladyuk]

I heard from a friend he has a towable generator.

I plan to let the tyres down on that

FFS. We all know this ends with you choking down BA pole.

[MrMarkyMark]

FFS. We all know this ends with you choking down BA pole.

I asked for honest advice, in good faith, on this forum and all I ended up with is the standard CUK pole choking answer.

You should be ashamed

[northernladyuk]

I asked for honest advice, in good faith, on this forum and all I ended up with is the standard CUK pole choking answer.

You should be ashamed

Stop mumbling.

[Fronttoback]

Banking

Generally BAs mince in thinking they are the dogs bollocks.

Then they meet me.

Firstly, a male BA is not doing a mans job. I call them my little fact finders. It's a job that is being Folded back into a developer role as a task. It's a task, not a career. This person is a parasite feeding off me. That's my psychological starting position.

Secondly, I give everyone the same chance- I assume they can perform at the level they pitch at. If I see they can't and it's not impacting me, they simply fall off my radar and I never ask them a question again. If they are good but not impacting me (unlikely) then I will occasionally run stuff by them- this very rarely happens. If they're tulip and it's impacting me then I remove them so i can solve the hard Problems and deliver stuff that works. I remove them in a number of ways. First, identify who is the BAs paymaster- it will be a PM or a business person. Then at the right time, I take the BA on in front of the paymaster, on a topic the BA should know- and I use *my* analysis skills to crush them in an analysis. I basically give them a lesson in critical thinking in front of their boyz. Once it's established that they are mediocre I ask what their expertise is in- and then I ask questions targeted at exposing bull and relegating the fake BA to my test bitch.

Thirdly, they need to realise I can do their job better than them. But they cannot do my job. So I like to bring them into my world with "how would you like it to work", "how should it work", "how have you seen it working in other shops"... This always puts them on the back foot because most have only touched the edges of complexity.

Fourthly, I force accountability on them. If You said you would do X and you didn't , if that impacts me then you will know about it. But I'll be all matey with you and then send out a group email pointing out the problems you caused me - without mentioning names - then I'll be all matey afterwards. They won't know which way is up.

I love working in investment banks. It's dog eat dog. Survival of the fittest.

[northernladuk]

Generally BAs mince in thinking they are the dogs bollocks.

Then they meet me.

Firstly, a male BA is not doing a mans job. I call them my little fact finders. It's a job that is being Folded back into a developer role as a task. It's a task, not a career. This person is a parasite feeding off me. That's my psychological starting position.

Secondly, I give everyone the same chance- I assume they can perform at the level they pitch at. If I see they can't and it's not impacting me, they simply fall off my radar and I never ask them a question again. If they are good but not impacting me (unlikely) then I will occasionally run stuff by them- this very rarely happens. If they're tulip and it's impacting me then I remove them so i can solve the hard Problems and deliver stuff that works. I remove them in a number of ways. First, identify who is the BAs paymaster- it will be a PM or a business person. Then at the right time, I take the BA on in front of the paymaster, on a topic the BA should know- and I use *my* analysis skills to crush them in an analysis. I basically give them a lesson in critical thinking in front of their boyz. Once it's established that they are mediocre I ask what their expertise is in- and then I ask questions targeted at exposing bull and relegating the fake BA to my test bitch.

Thirdly, they need to realise I can do their job better than them. But they cannot do my job. So I like to bring them into my world with "how would you like it to work", "how should it work", "how have you seen it working in other shops"... This always puts them on the back foot because most have only touched the edges of complexity.

Fourthly, I force accountability on them. If You said you would do X and you didn't , if that impacts me then you will know about it. But I'll be all matey with you and then send out a group email pointing out the problems you caused me - without mentioning names - then I'll be all matey afterwards. They won't know which way is up.

I love working in investment banks. It's dog eat dog. Survival of the fittest.

I think we've found the guy that's working with MrMarkyMark

[MarillionFan]

Hang on.

I never said it was MF

I was getting worried for a minute as I WAS doing varchars with a dba earlier.

[MarillionFan]

I think we've found the guy that's working with MrMarkyMark

Sounds like an Aussie polechoker to me. Hint hint.

[vetran]

I was getting worried for a minute as I WAS doing varchars with a dba earlier.

Giving a cockney DBA sled discount vouchers is not doing Varchars!

pronounce as if you are Mike Reid in eastenders.

[barrydidit]

Generally BAs mince in thinking they are the dog's bollocks.

Then they meet me.

Firstly, a male BA is not doing a man's job. I call them my little fact finders. It's a job that is being Ffolded back into a developer role as a task. It's a task, not a career. This person is a parasite feeding off me. That's my psychological starting position.

Secondly, I give everyone the same chance- I assume they can perform at the level they pitch at. If I see they can't and it's not impacting me, they simply fall off my radar and I never ask them a question again. If they are good but not impacting me (unlikely) then I will occasionally run stuff by them- this very rarely happens. If they're tulip and it's impacting me then I remove them so i I can solve the hard Pproblems and deliver stuff that works. I remove them in a number of ways. First, identify who is the BA's paymaster- it will be a PM or a business person. Then at the right time, I take the BA on in front of the paymaster, on a topic the BA should know- and I use *my* analysis skills to crush them in an analysis. I basically give them a lesson in critical thinking in front of their boyz. Once it's established that they are mediocre I ask what their expertise is in- and then I ask questions targeted at exposing bull and relegating the fake BA to my test bitch.

Thirdly, they need to realise I can do their job better than them. But they cannot do my job. So I like to bring them into my world with "how would you like it to work?", "how should it work?", "how have you seen it working in other shops?"... This always puts them on the back foot because most have only touched the edges of complexity.

Fourthly, I force accountability on them. If Ysou said you would do X and you didn't , if that impacts me then you will know about it. But I'll be all matey with you and then send out a group email pointing out the problems you caused me - without mentioning names - then I'll be all matey afterwards. They won't know which way is up.

I love working in investment banks. It's dog eat dog. Survival of the cuntiest.

FTFY.

In an unrelated note - what happens at point 1 where a female BA is involved? Do you sweat like a deviant in a bush and then cum in your pants?

[MrMarkyMark]

I was getting worried for a minute as I WAS doing varchars with a dba earlier.

I hope you washed your hands after.