It doesn't just rain

[Mordac]

He can't articulate. But mostly it seems to be groups and transitions. He's a complex child. I fear the behaviour he's learned in the last 5 weeks to throw and push things over is going to be a challenge to unlearn.

His ADHD means he blurts out and makes noise, doing that he gets told off, trying to suppress makes him anxious, anxious causes him to flee or fight.

You know what, he sounds exactly like my nephew. He didn't actually become a thug until he was about 12, when he got it into his head that if he got expelled from every school in the vicinity, he would eventually run out of schools and wouldn't actually have to go to school at all. It turned out, quite by accident we discovered the thing he didn't like was crowds (by which I mean more than 3 or 4 people).
We had a family Christmas a couple of years ago, which my mother (who is in her late 70's) was dreading, because he "the son of satan" was quite obviously going to be present. I "took one for the team" and kept him occupied for most of the Christmas Day afternoon in the back room, building a lego something or other. It took us at least 4 hours. On my own, it would have taken about 4 days. He seemed to have a knack, maybe even a gift, whatever, but for those brief hours he was like any normal 13 year old. We finally finished the lego construction, whatever it was, and he proudly picked it up, and threw it against the wall. I think he was trying to provoke anger, but I just laughed. It's probably the only time in my life I have managed to please everybody but myself.

[vetran]

We're working very close with the school. DS1 is a top achiever there, so luckily they know it's not a family issue.

It's also 5 minutes walk away.

actually that was similar for me My older sister was considered a great student - Meek, Mild & very bright.

I was troublesome (I kept hitting people who bullied me). However when I scored higher on Bristol Achievement Tests (forerunner to SATs) than anyone in both our years my parents managed to get them to treat me normally and stop expecting to behave like my much calmer big sister.

Both of us turned out alright eventually.

[Mordac]

actually that was similar for me My older sister was considered a great student - Meek, Mild & very bright.

I was troublesome (I kept hitting people who bullied me). However when I scored higher on Bristol Achievement Tests (forerunner to SATs) than anyone in both our years my parents managed to get them to treat me normally and stop expecting to behave like my much calmer big sister.

Both of us turned out alright eventually.

Surely the question here is why does anyone who has kids expect them to be some sort of normal? You chuck a bucket of sperm among maybe an egg, you don't get much more random than that.
I'll lay my own cards on the table, I'm adopted, where does that take us? Both my younger brother and sister (both also adopted) went to uni, if tuition fees had existed then, I'd bet almost anything that none of us would have gone to university. They're all in their 40's they won't have finished paying back their loans until they are bloody pensioners. Thankyou Tony Bliar, you at least gave us something, even if it was just a lifetime of student (and family) debt...

[Uncle Albert]

MF, my son went through a similar phase when in year 4. He had a diagnoses of Aspergers (but no statement at that stage), and the school were utterly useless. They refused to allow him to have anything to fidgit with and would ban him from play time as a punishment for talking in class which in turn lead to him losing his temper big time. It turned out that he was talking because he was bored. He is very high achieving in maths and was bored tulipless by the level of work he was being given. Rather than try to push him, they suggested that he turn his chair so he could sit staring out the window.

In the end we moved him to another school with a dedicated SENCO who helped in getting him a statement. The new school has been amazing, and while he hasn't suddenly changed into a "normal" child, he has had no further anger issues.

Using timeout cards is a good idea, and blutac or some bits of lego also helped.

If you need help, do go and have a look at IPSEA https://www.ipsea.org.uk/ they are very good and offer free advice and even legal representation if needed.

[shaunbhoy]

SENCO where in yesterday and actually said, he needs to have something in his pocket to fiddle with when he gets anxious.

Bit of a high risk strategy. Look how it turned out for Troll and sasguru.

[MarillionFan]

Well he didn't trash the class today. He also didn't do any work either, but spent most of the day in his new safe area.

He's now had his day cut back so he leaves at 2 O Clock, as opposed to 3.20.

[SueEllen]

Well he didn't trash the class today. He also didn't do any work either, but spent most of the day in his new safe area.

He's now had his day cut back so he leaves at 2 O Clock, as opposed to 3.20.

I'm afraid to say I expected the school to do that.

As everyone has mentioned seek help.

[vetran]

Well he didn't trash the class today. He also didn't do any work either, but spent most of the day in his new safe area.

He's now had his day cut back so he leaves at 2 O Clock, as opposed to 3.20.

so you now have an example of positive actions working. A few more days like that and you can suggest they need to change the way they handle the situation long term.

[woohoo]

So my wife was in school this morning as my son lost it again for the nth time and is now back at home as we sort out all of the doctors/issues. Luckily a specialist team was in the school and they've but it down to extreme anxiety. He just cant cope in the new school.

In the meantime, not having had a sniff of a contract, I interviewed for a contract earlier and got the damn thing which was about a 60 mile commute away (not near a train line). Boomed.

About 10 days ago though, I developed severe cramping & loss of feeling in my right leg, which has led to me not being able to sleep properly, having trouble getting dressed and unable to sit in a car for more than 5 minutes or drive, max ten minutes on a normal seat. I saw someone who said it was ligament damage on my pelvis.

So wondering why it didn't just clear up and being to see the osteopath twice with no success I drove the 5 minutes to the doctors. This was a struggle and when I needed to brake, I had to left my right leg with my hand to get it on the brake.

The doctor just confirmed it, and said it could take a month to heal, prescribed me a shed load of painkillers & then informed me I'm not allowed to drive.

Clientco just phoned back to ask for a start tomorrow, and I've had to decline it. Deboomed.

It fooking pours.

Not possible to arrange some kind of deal with a taxi firm?

[SueEllen]

Not possible to arrange some kind of deal with a taxi firm?

I think MF wants to come on here to rant.

Oddly enough Mumsnet would be the ideal forum for his child issues.