CUK's top ten tips for contractors

[mudskipper]

46: Don't mention the McCanns

[DimPrawn]

FFFE. Don't leave your Bugatti keys on your desk next to the photo of what looks like a footballer's mansion with a beautiful fashion model standing by the grand entrance.

[LondonManc]

Inside IR35 contractors:

I've found these rules to be remarkably effective in gaining more business.

1. Turn up on time.
2. Do what you're supposed to do.
3. Be where you're supposed to be.

Not much else to it.

Outside IR35 contractors:

Indeed.

1. Turn up out of the blue, vanish whenever you feel like it.
2. Do what is interesting and will get you a better paid gig, ignore the rest.
3. Work from home whenever the client manager is out of office.

Yes, it really is that easy.

[Churchill]

Not true. I've had plenty of renewals.

There's an exception to every rule.

[Troll]

If you want loyalty, get a dog - hop to the highest paying gig at renewal if no rate increase

[Churchill]

46: Don't mention the McCanns

I did once but I think I got away with it.

Just like the McCanns...

[darmstadt]

Don't let anyone know that you shagged the cleaner in the stationary cupboard while on night shift

[LondonManc]

Don't let anyone know that you shagged the cleaner in the stationary cupboard while on night shift

You've done a night shift?
AYCOTBAC?

[WTFH]

You've done a night shift?
AYCOTBAC?

You're not married, are you?

[LondonManc]

You're not married, are you?

Over 15 years. But have you seen the cleaner at our place? He's a minger.