Don't want to marry but have kid on the way

[NibblyPig]

prenups not enforcable in the UK

[AtW]

prenups not enforcable in the UK

They have to be taken into account by courts after recent High Court ruling.

No doubt they will be challenged in the basis that the evil man lied about all assets which have to be listed in prenup at market values (which could be easy point of argument for assets without easy to check market price)

[NibblyPig]

They have to be taken into account by courts after recent High Court ruling.

No doubt they will be challenged in the basis that the evil man lied about all assets which have to be listed in prenup at market values (which could be easy point of argument for assets without easy to check market price)

The one in 2010? Interesting. Typical that in that situation it weighed in favour of the woman. What's the betting in reverse the poor woman can't fend for herself having had a life of never really trying very hard and the court will rule the opposite way under their retained ability to waiver prenups as they feel like it...

I'm so bitter

[Halo Jones]

I have distinct feeling though if it wasn't for the kid on the way we would of split and to be honest I think its more a mater of time rather than if it happens. .

If the relationship is that rocky can it cope with the stress of the next 9 months?
Never stay together for the kids – you will both be miserable & the kids can tell, pay your maintenance, visit the kid often & be happy

The marriage thing is coming from her and her family as there are religious.

But are you?

You are going to get married because someone else is telling you to. Really ? you have a lifetime of misery ahead of you

Cynical but in this case possibly true

[Dallas]

If they are trying to influence you now .... Run

[NotAllThere]

I don't see why your parents situation would mean you don't want to get married. Since they both did it three times, there must be some merit in it!

.. I have distinct feeling though if it wasn't for the kid on the way we would of split and to be honest I think its more a mater of time rather than if it happens...

In that case you would be a complete and utter moron to get married. I mean stupidity of a spectacular order - even more dumb than the use of "would of" instead of "would have" suggests.

...So tell her family you if you decide to propose it will be in your own good time as she would probably like to have a good few drinks of alcohol at her own wedding and not feel fat.

You would be marrying her, not her family. However, there are wedding dresses specifically designed for ladies who are up the duff. Not all pregnant ladies feel fat and ugly - even at the "beached whale" stage. Some are happy to flaunt it.

The real reason to get married is what would happen if one or both of you had a terrible accident, or died but the children were fine - inheritance laws are still archaic. The child(ren) would be entitled to your money but she would not be entitled to anything and she would have to go to court to ask for it. Also they would have to pay inheritance tax.

Additionally: if she was in a terrible accident, you would not be her next of kin, and vice-versa. If you were to want to emigrate together, then marriage makes that a whole lot easier in many cases.

...
Never stay together for the kids – you will both be miserable & the kids can tell, pay your maintenance, visit the kid often & be happy..

Common wisdom, but research (Wallerstein and others) suggests otherwise, so long as both parents can comport themselves in a civilised manner. Separation all to often means not seeing enough of one (or both) parent(s).

[MrMarkyMark]

Common wisdom, but research (Wallerstein and others) suggests otherwise, so long as both parents can comport themselves in a civilised manner. Separation all to often means not seeing enough of one (or both) parent(s).

This.
I have known of this sort of situation a number of times. The parents live in the same house, but have not been together, in the true sense, for quite a while.

Usually its other people that do not understand how this works, rather than them.

[SurfQueen]

Having been there as the mom, having a child is no reason to get married. My partner and I split up before the birth, so my son has never come from a "broken home" - his parents have always lived apart. He didn't have to go through the fighting and tension in the household and the feeling that he had to choose between his parents.

His Dad had him on weekends and paid child support etc, but that became less important to him after he married and had more kids. That hurt my son more than anything, so if you split up make sure that your child is ALWAYS your child even if you have more with someone else.

My son will be 23 next month and has turned out ok

[FatLazyContractor]

OP - You need specialist help in this instance. May I suggest that you check this link and let us know what you think?

Truly HTH

[vetran]

OP - You need specialist help in this instance. May I suggest that you check this link and let us know what you think?

Truly HTH

you had that bookmarked?