Partners who work?

[d000hg]

She earns it, she can do what she wants with it.

It will need looking at when she stops working though and I start getting the bills

You really operate separate finances?

[filthy1980]

Assume kids are not in house.

Can't imagine much work being done if they're there.....

But no commute makes arranging childcare easier I guess.

oh no kids in the house, (which is only small)

usually ok during term time and will be better in sept when youngest goes into nursery couple mornings a week

missus does third line support so stuff can be juggled and i don't work far from home so can occasionally do a school run

tough slog but but think we're over the crest of the wave

[Lightwave]

You really operate separate finances?

We do, sort of.
SWMBO earns reasonably, we split the bills, I pay this, she pays that.
It's a relic of buying a house together before we were married, everything started off clearly split, things have got blurred in 15 years.

We have separate current accounts, joint offset mortgage.
Her car, my car, my bike.
Boat is 50:50!

No kids. Not quite true, she is a teacher and has hundreds of them, trades them in at 11 or so.

[allaboutthebenjis]

I go out and earn. She (and the kids) sit at home planning how to spend it for me.

[vetran]

You really operate separate finances?

you don't

do you feel you have to control what she spends then?

[d000hg]

you don't

do you feel you have to control what she spends then?

Is that two questions, or a statement and a question? And to me, or the previous poster?

We share everything - we do have separate accounts and different things are paid out of each and in different names but that's purely based on who set each thing up, which bank account required direct debits for special offers, etc. Money gets moved between them freely as needed, the bulk of her salary gets swept into a 1-2-3 account in my name to gather interest, etc.

[psychocandy]

Wife works full time, no kids.

Why should she feel obligated to work the same number of hours as you when she (presumably) earns far less than you and you (presumably) earn enough to support the family alone? For one thing, having one stay-at-home parent can make for a much more relaxed household when you get home to find a clean house, dinner on the table, etc.

I don't buy into this "you should be as miserable as I am" model of marriage. Just think how lucky you are to let the lazy cow stay home spending money while your working your nuts off so she can focus on your children.

[Danglekt]

You really operate separate finances?

Not really no, she has an account, so do I and then a couple of shared ones which the bills come from.

It's all pretty fluid between all of them, but if she starts spending money thats considered "family money" thats when I get twitched cos generally it means I'm goona get hit with a bill at some point - though I leave her to it most of the time and use it as brownie points so when I spot a motorbike I want I have an easier time convincing her

Shared finances, with me acting as European Central Bank to her Greek crisis.

[psychocandy]

You really operate separate finances?

Impossible if one of you is contractor and other not mostly.....

Even 20 years ago I earnt 2x what my mrs did. Seemed a bit unfair to split it all 50/50. She'd have been skint every month, I'd have been minted.

[d000hg]

Shared finances, with me acting as European Central Bank to her Greek crisis.

Reasonable. Shared finances doesn't mean you don't appoint one of you in charge of them. I manage our finances because we made the joint decision that was the best system