I don't like horseflies

[NotAllThere]

One just bit me on the foot. Ow.

[Gumbo Robot]

I get bitten countless times a day in this humid weather when I'm at home. Garden backs onto a field full of cattle. Little sods even bite me through my jeans.

Fortunately I don't react to the bites.

[MarillionFan]

One just bit me on the foot. Ow.

That's nowt. Wait until they've bitten you on the todger!

What you need to do is paint your todger in silver paint and hang around swampy areas, swimming pools or horses for an evening. A little horse manure also brings them in with a vicious bite and causes additional swelling.