PM: To Kate McCaan

[Batcher]

Who is Kate McCaan?

The person in the title of the thread who received a PM but hasn't, as yet, answered.

[MarillionFan]

Who is Kate McCaan?

Wife of the 8th Doctor.

[TykeMerc]

I'd never wish this kind of misery on anyone but over the years, it's mildly amusing thinking which of the people defending the McCanns would have been incensed if it was a dole mother in the spotlight instead of two very well educated people?

Certainly from my perspective I'd treat the dole mother/monster with the same attitude as the McCann's, it was their negligence that facilitated the abduction, it was an avoidable risk that they knowingly (or probably selfishly) ignored.

[DodgyAgent]

Certainly from my perspective I'd treat the dole mother/monster with the same attitude as the McCann's, it was their negligence that facilitated the abduction, it was an avoidable risk that they knowingly (or probably selfishly) ignored.

Another sanctimonious one

[Churchill]

Another sanctimonious one

Yep. Another one who doesn't agree with your selfish philosophy. Alarming, isn't it?

[DodgyAgent]

Yep. Another one who doesn't agree with your selfish philosophy. Alarming, isn't it?

I am not the only one that has this view. It seems that despite the over the top detail of the coverage there are very few commentators and journalists that hold your view: I am sure you will find some clinically depressed member of mumsnet to agree with the sanctity of your own position:

Grumpy Old Sod.com - persecuting the McCanns

The McCann's decision to put their kids to bed and pop back every so often to check on them was a tragic mistake which they'll no doubt regret for the rest of their lives. But we all make mistakes. Usually we're lucky and no harm comes from them. More to the point, there are people all over the country thinking "There but for the grace of God ….", because let's face it, and despite the wave of self-righteous posturing we're currently experiencing, many of us have done it - left our kids asleep somewhere, in bed while we pop next door, in the back of the car while we dash into a shop. It's not irresponsible: for most of us it's a rational decision. You weigh up the chances of them waking (very slim), the possible dangers from molesters (even slimmer) or, say, the car catching fire (statistically much more likely, I should think), and you decide that you live in the real world and the risk is acceptable. That's what the McCanns did, and they were caught out.

No doubt there are tiny little minds reading this and protesting "No! That's not on! A parent should never, ever, under any circumstances, leave their children!" Unthinking obduracy is often the first, and only, resort of the unintelligent.

Just where do you draw the line? If a kid gets stolen from her bed, is it the mum's fault because she didn't sit at the actual bedside all night long? Why not tie the kid to the bed, wouldn't that help? Or nail its feet to the floor? When that little six-year-old was snatched right out of her bath, was that the mother's fault because she wasn't actually in the room with her? Does a caring, responsible mother stay in the lavatory when her 10-year-old son is having a crap?

To those inadequates I repeat, the rest of us live in the real world. We go to work, we go shopping, we have lives to lead and obligations to many other people as well as the kids. We simply don't have the opportunity to fit grilles to every window, dig a moat in the front garden, install a portcullis and drawbridge, let loose a couple of Alsatians and sit in a darkened room cuddling the children.

Unfortunately there are plenty of narrow-minded little bigots who are only too pleased to seize any opportunity to show how self-righteous they can be, or who are delighted that for once the missing child comes from a nice middle-class family instead of a council estate, or who see the McCanns' vulnerability as an invitation.

They're indulging in that great British pastime, kicking people when they're down. We don't know who took the child, we can only imagine in our darkest moments what they've done with her, but never mind, we've got a much easier target for our spite - the parents. They're not grieving enough? They're too well dressed? They seem to be both well-heeled and well-connected? They could afford to take a holiday at a time most of us are working? They can exercise a level of self-control most of us would find difficult? They're good-looking, and have good-looking friends? Great, now's our chance. Let's get the bastards!

It's little more than simple jealousy. And sadly it's the internet that gives them the freedom to indulge their cruelty.

[TykeMerc]

Another sanctimonious one

If you call taking my duty of care as a parent seriously being sanctimonious then yep, guilty as charged and if I'd had children all over again I'd take the same risk averse approach.

[DodgyAgent]

If you call taking my duty of care as a parent seriously being sanctimonious then yep, guilty as charged and if I'd had children all over again I'd take the same risk averse approach.

And what happens if your child was still abducted?

[ZARDOZ]

I am simply asking at what point does leaving your child become acceptable? How hard is that to answer?

You are trying to re-frame this into something it isn't to make your point. Fact is they left a 3 and two 2 years olds alone while going out for a drink with friends. Do you think that is appropriate care? NSPCC says not. What do you think?

[TykeMerc]

And what happens if your child was still abducted?

Not likely to happen as mine have grown up now, but I would have done my best to mitigate any risk of it happening.

I noticed in your link they put

The McCann's decision to put their kids to bed and pop back every so often to check on them was a tragic mistake which they'll no doubt regret

which I don't agree with, it was NOT a mistake in my book as it was totally avoidable and neglect.