Pregnancy/Maternity Questions

[doomage]

True, all I'm saying is that I'm amazed that I get slated for not wanting to be that stay-at-home partner, when clearly there are feasible alternatives. I know it's mostly mothers that stay home with the kids, and for most family's that's what makes most sense. It wouldn't work for me and I wouldn't be having a baby if that's the sort of relationship I found myself in.

No one is slating you, you seem to be the one looking down on stay at home mums.

From what I have read, all that is being suggested is that 2 weeks is a very short time. 3 months would be better. If you are so ambitious and successful you should find another skillset that was not so niche.

[fullyautomatix]

No one is slating you, you seem to be the one looking down on stay at home mums.

From what I have read, all that is being suggested is that 2 weeks is a very short time. 3 months would be better. If you are so ambitious and successful you should find another skillset that was not so niche.

Or maybe not have a baby. Making babies and being ambitious dont go together.

[formant]

Where did I say I left it to her ??

I cant breast feed the baby, can I ? I have done my bit where I can and my wife has done her bit. I am just trying to give you my perspective from my vey recent experience so you can benefit from it, seeing that you are about to be a parent for the first time. Reading up some manual in wikipedia does not make you the Miss know all when it comes to babies/parenting.

I think you just want us to say what you want to hear. You think you are the superwoman who can give birth in the morning and then in the afternoon logon to skype and do some video conference with your client. That only happens in movies. Be realistic and pause for a moment and think, you are about to bring a baby in to this world which cant take care of itself for the best part of 4-5 years.

So you've done your bit, she's done her's but she's given up work and you haven't. Therefore every alternative model is wrong in your mind. Of course the child must be exclusively breastfed and using a childminder and/or fully sharing caregiving with the father is like out of the question ('you are about to bring a baby in to this world which can't take care of itself for the best part of 4-5 years').

I'm not the first person to take 'micro maternity leave', it's not a movie scenario unless you exaggerate it the way you just did there.

[formant]

Nobody here is slating you. Some people are disagreeing with you, but the only person throwing punches is you.

And even those that have disagreed have wished you luck.

I've lost count of how many have called me naive and devious without much understanding of my actual circumstances.

Appreciate the wishes.

[formant]

Or maybe not have a baby. Making babies and being ambitious dont go together.

Would you say that to a guy?

[fullyautomatix]

So you've done your bit, she's done her's but she's given up work and you haven't. Therefore every alternative model is wrong in your mind. Of course the child must be exclusively breastfed and using a childminder and/or fully sharing caregiving with the father is like out of the question ('you are about to bring a baby in to this world which can't take care of itself for the best part of 4-5 years').

I'm not the first person to take 'micro maternity leave', it's not a movie scenario unless you exaggerate it the way you just did there.

I am beginning to think you are a troll to be honest for not even grasping the basics. Every situation is different and we can only speak of our own experiences. My wife wanted to back at work in 3 months but took her own decision to stretch the leave to about a year out of consideration to the baby and actually left her ambitions aside and made the baby her priority. She just wanted to do things in the right way and do the best for the baby. That is my experience and which I have shared with you. If you want to pick holes in it, be my guest. I dont care.

If you give birth and are back at your work desk the next day, well done to you. If you want me to advise you to lie to your customer, I wont. That is unprofessional. You should have thought about all this before getting pregnant.

[fullyautomatix]

Would you say that to a guy?

Say what to a guy ?

[formant]

No one is slating you, you seem to be the one looking down on stay at home mums.

From what I have read, all that is being suggested is that 2 weeks is a very short time. 3 months would be better. If you are so ambitious and successful you should find another skillset that was not so niche.

I have non-niche skills, experience and qualifications as a test analyst, but I find it significantly less fulfilling than working within my actual specialism. I'm niche but I'm far from unemployable. I will do what I can to keep this contract, because whatever comes after is likely to be a lot less fun.

And I only look down on those stay-at-home mums who pretend its the be all and end all of childrearing. No issue with those who simply made the choice that was right for them and respect that that may not be what works for everyone.

And I agree, 3 months would be better. That was the plan when we decided to start trying to conceive. It didn't pan out that way, as I've described at length further up.

[formant]

Say what to a guy ?

"Making babies and being ambitious dont go together."

Or do you admit that that only applies to women?

[MyUserName]

"Making babies and being ambitious dont go together."

Or do you admit that that only applies to women?

Interesting thought. It tends to be a lot more disruptive to the mother than the father tbh. it is also, usually, the father who is the higher wage earner (that is the case in my house hold at least) so if one partner has to give up work it is usually the mother.

Also, because she has normally spent longer with the baby she normally knows the baby better in terms of sleep cycles, feeding rituals etc. When we only had one my wife would also do every night feed as she could sleep when the baby slept through the day whereas I had to go to work - even though I worked from home 3 days a week.

Overall, it is not a good time for either parent to take on any kind of other responsibilities.