Pregnancy/Maternity Questions

[northernladuk]

Ah that clarifies things. I thought that the 24 months thing also worked retrospectively. Glad it doesn't, makes more sense that way. Either way, ltd seems to be highly preferable regarding take-home pay, so I'm sure I'll switch eventually.

Good stuff. Surprised BolshieB hasn't been here with is standard statement in situations like this.....

[Wanderer]

pregnancy out of way

That's a nice way to put it

formant, you sound like you are pretty career focused and I sincerely hope you get an easy run though the pregnancy and beyond but don't push yourself too hard. There are so many unpredictable things that can happen and you've got some seriously challenging times coming up so take care and don't burn yourself out.

[northernladuk]

That's a nice way to put it

Erm, well, I meant, well you know... Bugger it, gonna got beat chest and make fire...

[formant]

That's a nice way to put it

formant, you sound like you are pretty career focused and I sincerely hope you get an easy run though the pregnancy and beyond but don't push yourself too hard. There are so many unpredictable things that can happen and you've got some seriously challenging times coming up so take care and don't burn yourself out.

Thank you. I am career focused but I am also lucky to have far more than average support from my other half. I've already cut back and put my part-time PhD on hold for a year due to the pregnancy and new role. I will cut back more if it becomes necessary, but then the contract is part-time and home-based so very different to the full-time office based roles I used to work, which also all came with a commute of at least 1hr 20mins each way. I'm also not as naive as some may assume - I know I am taking on a lot. I however also know that I'd be the most miserable stay-at-home parent in the world.

[NonnyMouse]

I didn't tell my client until the last possible minute, didn't show much so could have got away with it but an emergency hospital visit during the day kinda forced my hand. I'm not sure that they ever bothered raising the official flag with HR though.

However (and i haven't read the whole thread) unless you have a day and night nanny then going back to work after 2 weeks is going to be impossible - and yes you have to take two weeks. Going through labour is a real strain on the body and it takes time for the body to get used to not being pregnant. Plus you'll have midwives and health visitors turning up quite regularly in the first 10 days.

Have you thought about what will happen if you have complications meaning your doctors make you rest, what if LO comes early or late? What about the fact that LO will need you and be totally dependant on you. Hormones may make you a tad erm unpredictable both during pregnancy and the 'baby blues' in the first few days afterwards.

I saved up when I was pregnant and planned to go back when LO was 7 months, however she had other ideas - ended up going back when she turned one and I'm really glad I did, all worked out fine, well aside from the debt I still have from taking longer off. If I were you I'd plan to take a minimum of 3 months off or less if you can hire amazing day and night nannies - don't expect your mother to be able to do everything, it's not fair.

One other thing that helped me was using the Gina Ford routine to get LO sleeping thought the night quite early.

Good luck :-)

[formant]

I didn't tell my client until the last possible minute, didn't show much so could have got away with it but an emergency hospital visit during the day kinda forced my hand. I'm not sure that they ever bothered raising the official flag with HR though.

Glad to hear I'm not completely out of my mind and alone in wanting to wait until I have to tell them.

However (and i haven't read the whole thread) unless you have a day and night nanny then going back to work after 2 weeks is going to be impossible - and yes you have to take two weeks. Going through labour is a real strain on the body and it takes time for the body to get used to not being pregnant. Plus you'll have midwives and health visitors turning up quite regularly in the first 10 days.

Have you thought about what will happen if you have complications meaning your doctors make you rest, what if LO comes early or late? What about the fact that LO will need you and be totally dependant on you. Hormones may make you a tad erm unpredictable both during pregnancy and the 'baby blues' in the first few days afterwards.

I saved up when I was pregnant and planned to go back when LO was 7 months, however she had other ideas - ended up going back when she turned one and I'm really glad I did, all worked out fine, well aside from the debt I still have from taking longer off. If I were you I'd plan to take a minimum of 3 months off or less if you can hire amazing day and night nannies - don't expect your mother to be able to do everything, it's not fair.

One other thing that helped me was using the Gina Ford routine to get LO sleeping thought the night quite early.

Like I said in some of the previous posts, I have a very involved partner who isn't new to this and who has a fairly flexible job. He also has experience with getting babies to sleep through the night early on. My mother doesn't normally live in this country, but she's kindly volunteering to help out weeks 2-6 so that I can keep this job, thereafter I have a childminder.

And, as mentioned before, the job is part-time and home-based (4 hrs a day/20 a week)- I'd want to be off quite a bit longer if it was a standard full-time office-based role.

I will be addressing the early/late thing with my client to ensure they know that although I only plan to be off for two weeks, it's not super predictable when exactly that will start.

Good luck :-)

Thank you!

[Zippy]

Erm...as the OP will be working from home then travel to client site will be unusual (and claimable) shirley? Nowt to do with the 24 month rule.

OP - best of luck with the contract and the new baby.

[MyUserName]

God, my second literally did not sleep through the night once for the first six months. It was not unusual for him to wake up 4 times, he could not sleep feed like my daughter could and was born with a back injury which caused him to suffer really badly with colic. He became able to sleep through regularly last month (13 months old).

Thank god I had a contact which was a 90 minute train away or I would have gone mad from lack of sleep.

[northernladuk]

Erm...as the OP will be working from home then travel to client site will be unusual (and claimable) shirley? Nowt to do with the 24 month rule.

OP - best of luck with the contract and the new baby.

That particular instance is correct but she won't be able to claim meals but she is at home.. and erm, yeah that's about it thinking about it actually.

[NonnyMouse]

I bet most babies don't sleep through the night before 6 months - i think i was quite lucky that mine was 7-7 from 5,5 months and 7-7 with a dream feed at 10.30 for a month or two before that. The first few weeks she was fed every 2 hours with each feed lasting 45 minutes - oh the sleep deprivation!

Back to the OP, why a childminder as opposed to a nanny with new born experience or even a nursery, childminders can look after up to 6 kids of all ages. A nanny in your own home would be ideal as you'd be on hand to deal with any emergencies - even with a nursery the ratio is 1:3 and all would be similar aged babies.

Get thee to mumsnet :-) there is a forum on there aimed at professional freelance women and childcare.