Tyrant PM - Quit or not?

[Pip in a Poke]

I've simmered down now & it's Friday.

She talks to me like that on Monday after a 2 hour drive (probably 3 what with Glastonbury turning out) & it's sayonara baby.

Even with just another 6 weeks to go.

[rambaugh]

Bottom line is I have a right tyrant of a PM and I keep getting the sharp end of her tongue.

I'm not asked to carry out tasks, I feel like I'm being ordered around & she's constantly checking up on me.

Been biting my tongue for a few weeks now but this is coming to a head (just had a mouthful from her at 7.30 am as soon as I walked through the door) & I feel I'm just going to give her a piece of my mind and walk.

As I contractor, I'm guessing I have 2 options - one is to tough it out the other is to walk. No inbetweens.

How do you deal with this sort of thing? Any of you ever just walked out? I guess it puts payment of your most recent invoice in jeopardy?

I think it's a personal choice based on your own circumstances. How desperate are you for the money to keep coming in? This will be a key factor. Also, if the environment is so toxic its having an impact on your personal life or its affecting your professionalism then that's also a sign to leave.

I had similar situation early on when I started contracting where I was working with a PM who didn't have a plan to deliver the project. Needless to say everday things were quite shambolic however I managed to stick it out until the end of the contract and walked away when I was asked to renew. Back then I needed to money and just sucked it up. Now though the warchest is large enough to not put up with that kind of crap.

[SteelyDan]

I've simmered down now & it's Friday.

She talks to me like that on Monday after a 2 hour drive (probably 3 what with Glastonbury turning out) & it's sayonara baby.

Even with just another 6 weeks to go.

If you invoice & get paid weekly make sure your timesheet's signed off, then walk.
If you invoice & get paid monthly, hang on 5 more working days (until end of month), make sure your timesheets are signed off, then walk.
I wouldn't put up with that 5hit, but I'd grit my teeth until timesheets are sorted.

[Bee]

Bottom line is I have a right tyrant of a PM and I keep getting the sharp end of her tongue.

I'm not asked to carry out tasks, I feel like I'm being ordered around & she's constantly checking up on me.

Been biting my tongue for a few weeks now but this is coming to a head (just had a mouthful from her at 7.30 am as soon as I walked through the door) & I feel I'm just going to give her a piece of my mind and walk.

As I contractor, I'm guessing I have 2 options - one is to tough it out the other is to walk. No inbetweens.

I'm sorry to hear about this.

After a certain limit, and you have already reached, I would try to talk to her and try to improve the relationship. But bear in mind that if she is a psychopath bully this strategy will not going to work.

I had a similar case and what I have done was talk to her first but didn't work and then talked to her manager and the nightmare stopped.

Continuing on this situation will damage your mental health and please get a hell out of there.

How do you deal with this sort of thing? Any of you ever just walked out? I guess it puts payment of your most recent invoice in jeopardy?

You are in the client and available to work, so they need to pay your daily rate until you leave.

Good luck

[uk contractor]

@ OP perhaps she wants to be more than colleagues....invite her out for a drink then take one for the team and be the ultimate team player !!

[SeededLoaf]

Personally i'd stick it out, it's just 6 weeks and you can leave finishing the contract. In the mean time, try and psych yourself into a demob happy state (knowing you're imminently leaving)... as well as messing with her head. I like to behave slightly inappropriately like looking at her forehead when she talks to you or keep coughing. The smallest smallest things wind people up.

Have fun.

[DS23]

i've walked out once but that was 'cause the agency had gone bankrupt. i've refused renewal three times; the first time was illness in the family, the second was utter boredom and the third time was, to quote the third party pm who was running the show, because of the end clients "****wittery".

i did lose my cool with an end client pm once when he insisted i do something that i felt was really daft. it was 12 years a ago and i regret it. thankfully there was no impact. it was in italy after all and emotions can run high over there. i use it as a remembrance of not to do to again. breathe deeply and think of the money.

i've threatened to walk out once. it was in an and of day meeting on a job run by very big integrator. it was early on in an implementation and it was travel-in day (so a red-eye flight etc.). all the end-client staff had long since gone and at about 20:00 i said it was time to call it and order taxis to the hotel - but no, there had to be an end-of day review meeting. all the integrator bodies shuffled into a room plus me, the only independent resource. an hour and a half later the meeting was wrapped up - anything else? said the pm - "yes", i said, "if we ever have another meeting like that i will walk". that's the thing - permanent staff have to suck-it up and walk the endless plank laid by planks. as a contractor you can choose to jump ship.

the key factors are war-chest and demand for your skills. if those things are slim you need to wear a thicker skin, see it from the pm's point of view, put your head down, deliver and deliver well - so that you can get renewed. if those things are fulsome then do above but only to renewal. if they are overflowing then hand in your notice immediately.

[ChimpMaster]

i've walked out once but that was 'cause the agency had gone bankrupt. i've refused renewal three times; the first time was illness in the family, the second was utter boredom and the third time was, to quote the third party pm who was running the show, because of the end clients "****wittery".

i did lose my cool with an end client pm once when he insisted i do something that i felt was really daft. it was 12 years a ago and i regret it. thankfully there was no impact. it was in italy after all and emotions can run high over there. i use it as a remembrance of not to do to again. breathe deeply and think of the money.

i've threatened to walk out once. it was in an and of day meeting on a job run by very big integrator. it was early on in an implementation and it was travel-in day (so a red-eye flight etc.). all the end-client staff had long since gone and at about 20:00 i said it was time to call it and order taxis to the hotel - but no, there had to be an end-of day review meeting. all the integrator bodies shuffled into a room plus me, the only independent resource. an hour and a half later the meeting was wrapped up - anything else? said the pm - "yes", i said, "if we ever have another meeting like that i will walk". that's the thing - permanent staff have to suck-it up and walk the endless plank laid by planks. as a contractor you can choose to jump ship.

the key factors are war-chest and demand for your skills. if those things are slim you need to wear a thicker skin, see it from the pm's point of view, put your head down, deliver and deliver well - so that you can get renewed. if those things are fulsome then do above but only to renewal. if they are overflowing then hand in your notice immediately.

Exactly how I stand now.

I wish I had been more audacious in my youth, but in contracting life that comes with having a war-chest behind you, giving the ability to really speak your mind and walk if need be. Now I really don't suffer fools easily, nor do I have time for stupidity or incompetence. Fortunately I am at the stage where I don't have to put up with it any more.

Right and Wrong are pretty much clear cut and if something isn't right, then speak up, else at some point in time you will look back and regret it. There are plenty of times in my past where I wish I had spoken out against wrong-doing in the workplace. I also had a bull-type PM on one contract. I put up with her for a year (why is it always a woman!); fortunately she wasn't a dragon every day but even then, I wish I had taken her aside and had a word with her. Ultimately we're all human and in the workplace we're all adults.

Pip - Hi Don't put up with the PM. Front her and speak to her, tell her how she makes you feel. At the very least you will feel better afterwards for having done it and not having let her get away with people you so badly.

[Bee]

Exactly how I stand now.

I wish I had been more audacious in my youth, but in contracting life that comes with having a war-chest behind you, giving the ability to really speak your mind and walk if need be. Now I really don't suffer fools easily, nor do I have time for stupidity or incompetence. Fortunately I am at the stage where I don't have to put up with it any more.

Right and Wrong are pretty much clear cut and if something isn't right, then speak up, else at some point in time you will look back and regret it. There are plenty of times in my past where I wish I had spoken out against wrong-doing in the workplace. I also had a bull-type PM on one contract. I put up with her for a year (why is it always a woman!); fortunately she wasn't a dragon every day but even then, I wish I had taken her aside and had a word with her. Ultimately we're all human and in the workplace we're all adults.

Pip - Hi Don't put up with the PM. Front her and speak to her, tell her how she makes you feel. At the very least you will feel better afterwards for having done it and not having let her get away with people you so badly.

I had a similar case in my youth (with a man) that I wish I had punched his pig face and smash his car before leaving.

[silverlight1]

There are difficult people everywhere and I'm one of them sometimes but you just have to calibrate your approach for different people.

Take the moral high ground - organise a coffee or even a beer and see if you can talk it through.

Look at this as a learning experience.

I'm a PM but can remember a very difficult (but very talented) developer I had in the team once - took him out for a beer and he ended up blubbing like a baby - the long and short of it was that he was actually quite a vulnerable person and struggled with plans, deadlines and the day to day project stuff.

I gave him a very complex workstream and left him to his own devices and he came up trumps and delivered it on time and with every aspect fully tested.

Don't spend work time snarling at each other - try and work it out and in the meantime see what else is on the market!