I find Scrum stand up meetings humiliating

[Snarf]

Start making stuff up to see if anyone is paying attention:
Yesterday I completed task 1007, today I will be moving on to task 1008 however I am currently blocked as [insert mystical creature] ate all of the vowels from my keyboard.

Or find someone else with the same boredom issue and challenge each other to get some weird word into their update, I'll start you off tomorrow your update should include the word bagel.

[MyUserName]

Start making stuff up to see if anyone is paying attention:
Yesterday I completed task 1007, today I will be moving on to task 1008 however I am currently blocked as [insert mystical creature] ate all of the vowels from my keyboard.

Or find someone else with the same boredom issue and challenge each other to get some weird word into their update, I'll start you off tomorrow your update should include the word bagel.

I randomly insert the phase "like a cat" into my summaries to see whether people are listening.

[Snarf]

I randomly insert the phase "like a cat" into my summaries to see whether people are listening.

Brilliant.
I might try that today..

[eek]

I randomly insert the phase "like a cat" into my summaries to see whether people are listening.

I once started every summary in 1 week with

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away"...

[heyya99]

I find stand ups humiliating because most companies consider developers and testers to be the bottom rung of the ladder. Stand up meetings make me feel like I'm in school, having to prove I've done my homework.

[TykeMerc]

I find stand ups humiliating because most companies consider developers and testers to be the bottom rung of the ladder. Stand up meetings make me feel like I'm in school, having to prove I've done my homework.

There's a simple answer to that, don't accept contracts where they use agile type approaches and standups.

Alternatively get out of your current line of work, perhaps try:-

[tractor]

Start making stuff up to see if anyone is paying attention:
Yesterday I completed task 1007, today I will be moving on to task 1008 however I am currently blocked as [insert mystical creature] ate all of the vowels from my keyboard.

Or find someone else with the same boredom issue and challenge each other to get some weird word into their update, I'll start you off tomorrow your update should include the word bagel.

You have been watching too much Springwatch.

[SimonMac]

I find stand ups humiliating because most companies consider developers and testers to be the bottom rung of the ladder. Stand up meetings make me feel like I'm in school, having to prove I've done my homework.

The long and the short of it is code monkeys are ten a penny, unless you can bring something to the table you are bottom of the rung

[PurpleGorilla]

I find Scrum stand up meetings humiliating

Totally and utterly pointless. Been in a room with 30 team members before some offshore - took over an hour.

Nobody is really interested in what anybody else is doing, they just want to get their piece out of the way and then get on with it.

Yet another pointless methodology, supposedly agile but now an industry. We've been LEANED everybody!

Lol, so true.

Ever experienced CRITICAL CHAIN?

It's like lean and agile mixed together.

Guru; "Ok we will get all your blockers taken away so you can deliver more efficiently"

"Great, now we'll just take of 25% of your allocation to have as a contingency. You might not need it now your working super slick so see if you can deliver on the reduction"

= 50% budget cut, and deal with it sucka!

[SpontaneousOrder]

I find stand ups humiliating because most companies consider developers and testers to be the bottom rung of the ladder. Stand up meetings make me feel like I'm in school, having to prove I've done my homework.

Prove to whom? It should only really be your team there. If other people listen in, change the time around so they never know when it is.