Divorce / Spousal Maintenance

[mudskipper]

Not bitter at all. I havent had kids so that hasnt happened to me.

So you are again offering opinions on something you only know about through other people's experiences.

I suggest leaving advice to the OP to those who know what they're talking about.

You are now on my 'ignore' list, so rest assured I will not respond to any more of your posts.

[wim121]

So you are again offering opinions on something you only know about through other people's experiences.

I suggest leaving advice to the OP to those who know what they're talking about.

Absolute rubbish again. One can know something without directly experiencing it themselves.

Your tripe about me not knowing about these situations is balderdash, you dont know anything about my similar family history or my experience in this field either. You just presume that unless someone has directly made the same mistake before, they cant offer insight which is foolish beyond belief.

You are now on my 'ignore' list, so rest assured I will not respond to any more of your posts.

Thank goodness for that. Now maybe, thread discussions can stay on subject without resorting to personal attacks on what you imagine others personalities to be like, rather than attacking and debating the post made.

[TheFaQQer]

It gets worse.

I hit the two year rule in about 6 months time.

Nope, it gets even worse - if you expect that the contract is going to go over 2 years, then you stop claiming from that point onwards. So, by the sounds of it, you should have stopped claiming a while back, and certainly shouldn't be claiming any more from now on.

[Jerry]

Nope, it gets even worse - if you expect that the contract is going to go over 2 years, then you stop claiming from that point onwards. So, by the sounds of it, you should have stopped claiming a while back, and certainly shouldn't be claiming any more from now on.

To be clear, my current contract expires in December. I have no contract beyond that but expect/hope for renewals. Therefore I believe I am operating within the law.

[NotAllThere]

Stay on topic. That means discussing ways of the OP mitigating his financial circumstances. Other posts, discuss the merits or otherwise of marriage, revenge scenarios will be deleted. If you want that discussion, take it to general.

[Support Monkey]

people asume you have to keep paying to support the children and whist this is reasonable it does not mean paying out to compensate for the fact your not around or to cover your wifes lifestyle, they need parents more than they need you to pay for their Nike trainers, playstations and macdonalds outings every 2 weeks

so rather than work your self to death to compensate for your absence/wifes shoe collection, knock the london job on the head, get a job local to your home or nearer the kids even if its some factory job, just drop out of the rat race, you earn less money but so what, if you have debts to cover just go bankcrupt spend your time with the kids not working your fingers to the bone to pay for them, they will respect you more for it when they get older

[Timbo999]

You have my sympathy. I am in a similar situation whereby my ex earns £2k a month by not working. I'm however being hounded by the CSA after my ex declaring that voluntary payments I had made were by her opinion general maintenance payments not child maintenance payments. They've also ruled that my dividends are income and pension payments are therefore taken into consideration. My general advice would be maximize legitimally your expenses, for example you may as well stay somewhere comfortable and get yourself a good accountant. I've only just joined but if you can get in touch directly then please do so and I'll gladly swap notes. I too am trying to find ways ahead of another contract shortly, so would be good to bounce ideas off somebody. As someone has previously said at least we have access to our kids. In my case, for now, as I am sure that will be her next move.

[Robot]

Afternoon,

She has changed her mind and my solicitor has advised me that she is simply renting rooms from her boyfriend. Two bed house, three sons, her, and her boyfriend. The solicitor says its obvious that she's cohabiting but there's a 50/50 chance the judge will agree. She works 16 hours a week, he hasn't worked in 8 years. They live in a council house, rent £450 a month. She left me and moved 60 miles away to be with him, and now i also get hit with about £40 a week in travel costs to pick up and drop off the kids. The CSA don't care.

Any advice/experience?

Jerry

Simply renting rooms...
is there a legal rental contract drawn up?
is he declaring the income on his tax return?
has he informed the benefits office of this additional income?
is he legally allowed to rent a room, if he only has two bedrooms?

I'm sure you could ask a whole lot of questions about this arrangement. Incidentally, you could 'grass' him to the benefits office about his 'additional income' !!

[h8mmer]

Having been through all this tulip myself I feel for you man..

Not wanting to dampen your mojo further but I'd advise that whatever you do always be prepared for one more thing to blindside you, normally just when you are finally feeling free of whatever the last nastiness was thrown at you.
Family law in the UK is setup to hound fathers (sorry, I of course mean the NRP) and be a consequence-free weapon for nasty ex's to make your life hell if they so desire! And there seems to be an endless avenues of attack they can use - once one door closes another is available to be opened.

So reflecting what others have said you need to box clever.
e.g have you got a warchest left in the company? If so she can ask the CSA to declare that as income (your co is over 2 yrs old so is no longer deemed a startup - therefore even though its the co's money and not yours the CSA doesn't care - they are outside of an laws apart from their own - think along the lines of the Nazis and you'll be getting close).
Now you know this, and if it applies, what can you do about it?

You need to know the rules so you can prepare yourself.
Its hard living your life thinking "if I use 'account A' to pay for 'item A' can that be used as evidence against me with the CSA" but unfortunately thats the way you have to live if you want to get through this nigtmare

You need to remember that she can take you to tribunal on the flimsiest of made up reasons and thus she can get access to all of your personal bank statements and your LTD statements going back years. You on the other hand can do absolutely nothing and you get nothing in response. AND if she wanted to get legal counsel (say a financial barrister) to twist the screws even harder on the day then all she would have to do is say there was a threat of DV - no evidence or past history necessary.

There are many postings on forums where fathers advise to just pay whatever she wants in a personal agreement because she'll get the money anyway and it'll make your life a lot less stressful. Problem with that is she has to be willing to enter into this.
My ex has always refused because she has a posse of the vilest witches in tow who all support each other in keeping the attacks coming - the CSA is just the best club to keep using.

God I've depressed myself re-reading this.....

BTW; ...any feminazis who think I'm advising not paying whats fair and reasonable for their kids is mistaken, and can basically just do one.

[BrilloPad]

Having been through all this tulip myself I feel for you man..

Not wanting to dampen your mojo further but I'd advise that whatever you do always be prepared for one more thing to blindside you, normally just when you are finally feeling free of whatever the last nastiness was thrown at you.
Family law in the UK is setup to hound fathers (sorry, I of course mean the NRP) and be a consequence-free weapon for nasty ex's to make your life hell if they so desire! And there seems to be an endless avenues of attack they can use - once one door closes another is available to be opened.

I agree with everything you have said. But the vast majority of men bring it on themselves. Women are far better communicators than men. One day women will work out how to get eggs to grow without needing sperm and then men will become extinct.