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Child Support / Maintenance

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    #21
    It is frustrating though, my ex and her new partner run a very successful business. One drives a 10 reg BMW X5 and the other has some 07 BMW convertible.

    1 "child" left home, 2 moved to London to live with me and the other remaining "child" is working.

    Yet when the topic of maintenance ever came up in the past they were so proud that they only earnt 5k (read whatever is the tax and ni efficient minimum) per year each, could barely pay the interest payments on the loan for the BMW X5 on that.

    Some people really have no idea of parental responsibility, both emotional and fiscal.

    Now that the kids are older, I have really given up even thinking about it, avoid communicating unless I absolutely need to, and then only regarding the childrens welfare (2 minors). No maintenance goes one way or the other any more. Just hope 1 day they may have be a pang of conscience, but I know it won't happen.
    Last edited by Scrag Meister; 25 August 2010, 12:52.
    Never has a man been heard to say on his death bed that he wishes he'd spent more time in the office.

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      #22
      Originally posted by h8mmer View Post
      Like I said, there is a % of uncaring b#stards/b#tches out there of which your friends X seems to be one.

      However, I've learnt that getting the story off a friend should always be taken with less than a 100% blind trust.....people going through nasty splits tend to bend the truth in their favour.
      During splittling with my X I had friends ignore me in the street, after getting the reasons why out of them it turned out my X had been telling some extreme porkies...and people love to believe gossip.

      As for hiding income in my case cailin, if you want to volunteer to talk to my X into letting me have my agreed access then I'd be grateful...at the same time I'll lower my CM to what I HAVE to pay.
      I've no doubt lots of scorned ex's take the hump and "exagerate" their stories, I'm sure I have a few friends who have done this in the past. this particular friend no way.. the split was messy more so as he put her in hospital with a beating and then said it was her fault for pushing him to it - so fair enough some cases can be exageration others, not so much.

      As for your ex - I'm afraid I have no real advise to offer but if you aren't getting your agreed access surely you can take her back to court for it?
      Bazza gets caught
      Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

      CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

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        #23
        Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
        I've no doubt lots of scorned ex's take the hump and "exagerate" their stories, I'm sure I have a few friends who have done this in the past. this particular friend no way.. the split was messy more so as he put her in hospital with a beating and then said it was her fault for pushing him to it - so fair enough some cases can be exageration others, not so much.

        As for your ex - I'm afraid I have no real advise to offer but if you aren't getting your agreed access surely you can take her back to court for it?
        Starting the process yet again now........ but it can take months to get to court, its no way an easy process and family law in the UK is very anti-NRP. Even if more access gets rubber stamped by a judge there really is no effective way of ensuring it happens...its upto the PWC at the end of the day.

        BTW....your friends X is indeed a scumbag ****.

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          #24
          Hello, I wanted to resurrect this thread as I have recently started contracting and am a long standing CSA payer (non-res parent). I understand this is an emotive subject where both parties usually feel they are the aggrieved one!

          My situ is that I want to be assessed on monthly salary alone and don't want the CSA to dig into my dividends. At present, the CSA don't know I have started to contract and I've yet to draw my first dividend. I have just received my first wage slip from my accountant. Am I 'safe' in sending this off to the CSA as proof of my new salary? I'm a little unsure how to word the letter to them. Do I call myself Self Employed? or Do I simply state that my new company is "******" and this is my new salary? I want to be as clear about things as poss without arousing suspicions!

          Someone else recommended setting up a second company, whereby I am not sole (or at least main) Director and Shareholder - as being a water tight way of assuring that dividends cannot be assessed. Has anyone used this method?

          Again, I know this is an emotive subject - I am not looking to shirk responsibility, simply redress some of the harm done to me (and , therefore, my daughter) by the CSA in the last 10 years.

          Comment


            #25
            Originally posted by Rivendell View Post
            Hello, I wanted to resurrect this thread as I have recently started contracting and am a long standing CSA payer (non-res parent). I understand this is an emotive subject where both parties usually feel they are the aggrieved one!

            My situ is that I want to be assessed on monthly salary alone and don't want the CSA to dig into my dividends. At present, the CSA don't know I have started to contract and I've yet to draw my first dividend. I have just received my first wage slip from my accountant. Am I 'safe' in sending this off to the CSA as proof of my new salary? I'm a little unsure how to word the letter to them. Do I call myself Self Employed? or Do I simply state that my new company is "******" and this is my new salary? I want to be as clear about things as poss without arousing suspicions!

            Someone else recommended setting up a second company, whereby I am not sole (or at least main) Director and Shareholder - as being a water tight way of assuring that dividends cannot be assessed. Has anyone used this method?

            Again, I know this is an emotive subject - I am not looking to shirk responsibility, simply redress some of the harm done to me (and , therefore, my daughter) by the CSA in the last 10 years.
            Been there got the T-Shirt although I tried to make them count my dividends but they wouldn't unless the Ex made a claim of unaccounted income.

            If by doing this you end up paying a lot less then they may themselves investigate esp as you will be paying yourself or your Ex if she has wind of what you're doing may well prompt an investigation. Then you will have accrued a lot of back pay.

            On a personal note the current 15% of net and then reduced by 1/7 for every night you have care isn't alot of your income. Retrospection rebalancing just sounds like revenge to me and really isn't worth it.
            But I discovered nothing else but depraved, excessive superstition. Pliny the younger

            Comment


              #26
              Originally posted by Rivendell View Post
              Hello, I wanted to resurrect this thread as I have recently started contracting and am a long standing CSA payer (non-res parent). I understand this is an emotive subject where both parties usually feel they are the aggrieved one!

              My situ is that I want to be assessed on monthly salary alone and don't want the CSA to dig into my dividends. At present, the CSA don't know I have started to contract and I've yet to draw my first dividend. I have just received my first wage slip from my accountant. Am I 'safe' in sending this off to the CSA as proof of my new salary? I'm a little unsure how to word the letter to them. Do I call myself Self Employed? or Do I simply state that my new company is "******" and this is my new salary? I want to be as clear about things as poss without arousing suspicions!

              Someone else recommended setting up a second company, whereby I am not sole (or at least main) Director and Shareholder - as being a water tight way of assuring that dividends cannot be assessed. Has anyone used this method?

              Again, I know this is an emotive subject - I am not looking to shirk responsibility, simply redress some of the harm done to me (and , therefore, my daughter) by the CSA in the last 10 years.
              If you are seriously asking our advice on CSA payments, here's mine. PAY YOUR DUES!!! I personally don't care what your relationship is with your (ex)-partner, for as long as you have any form of relationship with your kids, you should pay up and don't hide your earnings (salary and divies). You will get found out in the end.

              If you are not happy to pay your dues, go to court and sort it out. Don't be a tight ar*se. How would you feel if your kid(s) resented you when they grow up knowing that you never paid your way?
              If your company is the best place to work in, for a mere £500 p/d, you can advertise here.

              Comment


                #27
                Hi,

                As mentioned, this is a highly emotive subject.

                To Gibbon: thanks for the advice. I'm on the old scheme so I pay significantly more than 15% net income. I'm going to wait and see what happens I think, if they dig, they dig and I will have to face that investigation if it comes down to it.

                To pmeswani: with respect - go do one sonny jim. You have NO IDEA the stress and unhappiness I've faced from my ex, trying to block contact and generally ruin my experience of fatherhood. I have been shafted by the CSA for long enough and also pay for significant treats and expenses at weekends that are not taken into account. Oh, and the £4k I spent in court trying to get contact back when it was blocked. Please refrain from sticking your oar into something you clearly know nothing about.

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                  #28
                  Been there, done it! Well nearly... been to a First Tier Tribunal, won that, ex appealed to the Upper Tribunal and we now have another FTT to attend at some point. Unless you have been in this situation you cannot fully appreciate how you would feel paying for an ex's lifestyle... for some, it is nothing to do with the children but a secondary income!

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                    #29
                    Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
                    Also a shame that there are so many assholes out there who WANT to avoid paying for their child/children.

                    What kind of person does that?

                    Not quite as simple as this in all cases. I pay maintenance based on my old premie salary which is about £750 per month. God knows what it would be if it was based on my company divi's...at least 5 times that I think.

                    I gave her the house (fully paid for) and everything in it (and on the driveway)... I have my kids every weekend at my house where they have their own rooms, and their own clothes and toys...a home from home.

                    I pay for all school trips and take them on holiday twice a year.

                    They also each have shared in my business which means that after 4 yes they already have over £10k each in the bank ready for when they are 18...by which time there should be about £30k each.

                    So...am I wrong to not want to pay my ex wife any more money?????
                    Property advisor for the people

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                      #30
                      Deeply emotive, and yet thoroughly pointless bitching back and forth on here, none of us know in depth each others personal circumstance (though I'm sure there are a few that do), so bitching back and forth about "you don't know me" etc is clouding the issues.

                      For those stuck with unreasonable ex's, male or female, not paying what they should, or irrationally getting in the way up your relationship with the child, my sympathies go out to you.

                      It seems pretty straight forward to me, you should pay up based on what your total income is, and not being forthcoming about that/trying to hide it, is pretty bad indeed.

                      If your ex blocks you from seeing kids, then there are legal avenues you should take.

                      Getting into slagging matches on here is pointless.

                      Again, my sympathies to anyone who has to deal with a dififcult ex, on either side of the fence.

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