1. Contracting
    1. General
      1. Brexit
    2. Business / Contracts
      1. Coronavirus Assistance
    3. Accounting / Legal
      1. Umbrella Companies
      2. HMRC Scheme Enquiries
      3. The Future of Contracting
      4. IR35 Reform
    4. Technical
    5. Welcome / FAQs
  2. Social
    1. Light Relief
    2. Social / Events
  • Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Chat up lines

Collapse
X
1 to 10 of 100 Previous 1 2 3 4 10 template Next
Collapse
Reply to Thread
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
1 to 10 of 100 Previous 1 2 3 4 10 template Next
    #1

    Chat up lines

    How's your bum for cracking walnuts?

    Do you like wine gums? Well, wind your gums around this.

    Do you mend watches? Well, put a second hand on this.

    Any other gems?
    Tags: None
    #2
    Originally posted by Moose423956 View Post
    How's your bum for cracking walnuts?

    Do you like wine gums? Well, wind your gums around this.

    Do you mend watches? Well, put a second hand on this.

    Any other gems?
    Sweetheart, they are not gems.... they are however, a sure way to get a slap in the chops!!
    Bazza gets caught
    Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

    CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

    Comment

      #3
      I knew someone at college who used to go round all the good looking girls in a nightclub, and say "Fancy a shag?". He always got one who said "Okay then".

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by Moose423956 View Post
        Any other gems?
        Do you like jewellery? Well **** my **** its a gem

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by Moose423956 View Post
          How's your bum for cracking walnuts?

          Do you like wine gums? Well, wind your gums around this.

          Do you mend watches? Well, put a second hand on this.

          Any other gems?
          What has two thumbs, speaks French and likes bl** j*bs?

          (point to self with thumbs) Moi.
          Best Forum Advisor 2014
          Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
          Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

          Comment

            #6
            Do you like snakes? Well suck the poison out of this one.
            Best Forum Advisor 2014
            Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
            Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

            Comment

              #7
              guy:have u got any ( insert nationality ) in you?
              girl: no...
              guy:let me change that for you..
              cut me - ill bleed rosso red

              Comment

                #8
                There's a film I saw once featuring this exchange:

                Man: Want to come back to mine?
                Woman: What for?
                Man: A f*** and a pizza

                Seemed to work, I think.
                Best Forum Advisor 2014
                Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                Comment

                  #9
                  I rely on Sid the Sexist for all my best lines.
                  Best Forum Advisor 2014
                  Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                  Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                  Comment

                    #10
                    From last night

                    Your eyes are amazing, especially the left one.

                    I think the guy had read "The Game"
                    Fiscal nomad it's legal.

                    Comment

                    Reply to Thread
                    1 to 10 of 100 Previous 1 2 3 4 10 template Next

                    Advertisers

                    1. Contracting
                      1. General
                        1. Brexit
                      2. Business / Contracts
                        1. Coronavirus Assistance
                      3. Accounting / Legal
                        1. Umbrella Companies
                        2. HMRC Scheme Enquiries
                        3. The Future of Contracting
                        4. IR35 Reform
                      4. Technical
                      5. Welcome / FAQs
                    2. Social
                      1. Light Relief
                      2. Social / Events
                    Working...
                    X