Reply to: Post-baby Coitus

[Mr Crosby]

Do her when she's asleep

[Fleetwood]

Agreed, BA.

[Badgers Armpit]

You should know in a reasonable time after you start dating a lady if she swallows. If she doesn't & you go onto marry her, only yourself to blame

[Fleetwood]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleetwood
Not good, not good at all.
I have never been in this situation and cannot offer any advice, sorry.

Well, of course you haven't Fleetwood, you silly Francophile c0ck.

I'm sure all your demoiselles have never turned down even your most bizzare sexual requests

True, BM.
What's the point of staying with a bird who doesn't put out? It's not rocket science, FFS.
PS Try to avoid personal invective
PPS bizarre

[The Lone Gunman]

I was with this woman, she said put your finger in, so I did, then she said put 2 in, so I did, then she said put your hand in, so I did, then she said put both hands in, so I did, she said clap, I said I can't she said I told you I was tight!

[xoggoth]

I have never managed to touch the sides since.

[bogeyman]

Not good, not good at all.
I have never been in this situation and cannot offer any advice, sorry.

Well, of course you haven't Fleetwood, you silly Francophile c0ck.

I'm sure all your demoiselles have never turned down even your most bizzare sexual requests

[bobsmithldn]

bitty bitty

Try to get her to express into bottles, then you can help with the night feeds, and maybe have a little sip if your're thirsty or hungry.

Got a little suck last night but no milk or action - just my luck!

[lukemg]

Another fabulous recommendation for marriage. My married with kids mates now joke 'through gritted teeth' about how little action they are getting (once a month seems the norm, almost certainly out of a sense of duty from the missus, showing little enthusiasm) hmmm tempting. If you are lucky, she finds someone else, turfs you into bedsit land to play 'weekend dad' while you pay for everything, for ever. Ain't life sweet.

[MrsGoof]

little bugger is still on the breast .....I can't get in there ...

bitty bitty

Try to get her to express into bottles, then you can help with the night feeds, and maybe have a little sip if your're thirsty or hungry.

[bobsmithldn]

Cheers guys.

MrsGoof has hit the nail on the head - problem is little bugger is still on the breast - nearly 6 months old - I can't get in there ... and it's knackering her out totally ... formula it is and weaning, which has started ... I'm gonna try and spoil her now - used to do this all the time but I stopped for some reason ... we're gonna go to a spa at the weekend ...

Sasguru, I did do a Basily Fawlty frogmarch ze ozer day and she larfeddd heartzily butz no orderz ver given by me ...

[sasguru]

Germans always respond well to shouted orders. Alternatively, why don't you:

(1) Grow a little toothbrush moustache
(2) Start wearing a uniform
(3) Call yourself the Fuhrer
(4) And finally, tell her it's her duty as a "Good Fraulein" to indulge her Fuhrer's wishes.

That should work.

HTH

[MrsGoof]

Cheers Fleetwood - the direct approach has always worked with her (being German) but not at the moment ... no comment re other tips I'm afraid, particularly getting another bird ... non comprende!

MrsGoof - yes, heard about that book but does it say anything about 'nani ...

not as far as I remember, but the consequence of being able to sleep all night long means she's not so tired so you can start working on wooing her (she'll need it).
She probably won't respond to any of your efforts untill she can get some sleep and some time for herself. Send her off to be pampered massage, hairdereser ..., then shell start to remember you exist.

Good luck !

[Phoenix]

Me thinks you may be the shy one.....Take her flowers....Tell her she's gorgeous...and she makes you come over all Caveman....throw her over the table and give her a damn good seeing to...........

[Badgers Armpit]

a) lick her out

Not heard that term since I was in my teens! I guess that comes just after "getting a smelly finger"