• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.

You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

  • You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
  • You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
  • If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Previously on "Two reasons to get de-benched: boobies"

Collapse

  • cojak
    replied
    Originally posted by Zippy View Post
    I suppose we should allow RC to enjoy the gig while he can. He'll be on here wanting advice on how to deal with the assorted backstabbers, loonies and airheads before too long
    As for me - a fit bloke is an equestrian. Strong core body, good legs, brain, brave ....
    I've been watching the Winter Olympics - most of the them could crack walnuts with those thighs...

    And the Lycra helps...

    <Sigh>

    Leave a comment:


  • Pogle
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    In my two weeks at my new gig, two things have struck me as firm benefits of gigdom: chest potatoes....
    ................
    I wonder how much longer I can stay there before they point out I ought to get on with doing some work.
    Looks like you've swapped that dressing gown for a dirty mac

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by Zippy View Post
    NSFW????


    If you've got your own shovel and bucket we should talk
    did you know

    horses cant eat conkers ?




    Leave a comment:


  • Zippy
    replied
    Originally posted by threaded View Post
    I have some nice horses. There's some pictures of them on my website.
    NSFW????

    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    Zippy, my valentine. Top equestrian here -

    Strong core body, good legs, brain, brave - as a Saggitarius I am actually half horse so other attributes -
    vegetarian
    blinkered outlook
    I can also sh 1t in the street and get away with it



    If you've got your own shovel and bucket we should talk

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by Zippy View Post
    I suppose we should allow RC to enjoy the gig while he can. He'll be on here wanting advice on how to deal with the assorted backstabbers, loonies and airheads before too long
    As for me - a fit bloke is an equestrian. Strong core body, good legs, brain, brave ....
    Zippy, my valentine. Top equestrian here -

    Strong core body, good legs, brain, brave - as a Saggitarius I am actually half horse so other attributes -
    vegetarian
    blinkered outlook
    I can also sh 1t in the street and get away with it



    Leave a comment:


  • threaded
    replied
    Originally posted by Zippy View Post
    I suppose we should allow RC to enjoy the gig while he can. He'll be on here wanting advice on how to deal with the assorted backstabbers, loonies and airheads before too long
    As for me - a fit bloke is an equestrian. Strong core body, good legs, brain, brave ....
    I have some nice horses. There's some pictures of them on my website.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zippy
    replied
    I suppose we should allow RC to enjoy the gig while he can. He'll be on here wanting advice on how to deal with the assorted backstabbers, loonies and airheads before too long
    As for me - a fit bloke is an equestrian. Strong core body, good legs, brain, brave ....

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    In my two weeks at my new gig, two things have struck me as firm benefits of gigdom: chest potatoes.

    Leave a comment:


  • Boudica
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    In my two weeks at my new gig, two things have struck me as firm benefits of gigdom: chest potatoes.

    ClientCo is all open plan and the heating is hot, hot, hot.

    And since ClientCo is oop Norf, and as we all know, Northern lasses try harder, the crumpet is hot! HOT! HOT!

    The totty at ClientCo are all particularly fit, well dressed, armed with platform bras, revealed cleavages you could file your post in and stiletto FMBs that make your spine tingle with the thought of being walked over.

    For any benched gentlemen out there: YouPron is a very poor substitute for the brunette who does the coffee run four times a day and insists on bouncing unnecessarily as she walks. She spills more than she delivers, but nobody complains.

    And the blonde with her hair in bunches - yes, bunches! - wiggles as she walks making her latino silk skirts fly up and reveal her stocking tops... and the way she looks at you when she catches you looking... a half wink and a scowl and then a flick of a heel.

    Lordy, lordy. I can't believe they are paying me SO MUCH MONEY to sit there dribbling saliva into my lap.

    There's even a user department of civil engineers; Equal Ops legislation has seen to it half of them are coy bespectacled babes who go all soft around the limbs when you show respect for their intellect; I thought shooting fish in a barrel was supposed to get you wet... Oh to be 24 again.

    I wonder how much longer I can stay there before they point out I ought to get on with doing some work.
    Dear Mr Cranium

    Are you sure this is a gig, or have you taken to ingesting hallucinogenic substances?

    boobies indeed!

    Leave a comment:


  • Sockpuppet
    replied
    Originally posted by threaded View Post
    You called?
    Wrong number.

    Leave a comment:


  • norrahe
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    So should I scrap the Plan B of being a Black Lace novelist?
    I think so

    Room for improvement

    Leave a comment:


  • RichardCranium
    replied
    Originally posted by norrahe View Post
    If ever there was an incentive to stay on the bench, this is it..........................
    So should I scrap the Plan B of being a Black Lace novelist?

    Leave a comment:


  • norrahe
    replied
    "(Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)"

    If ever there was an incentive to stay on the bench, this is it..........................

    NoW excuse me, I have a rugby match to go and watch.

    Leave a comment:


  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    Sexist? Nah! I'm celebrating working somewhere that recruits according to ability, not gender. Hence the place is full of intelligent, competent people of both genders instead of either geezers who can only talk about football, or fake-blonde airheads who go running to HR if you as much as say "Good morning!" to them.

    It just so happens that the women at ClientCo seem to be, mostly, as fit as a butcher's dog.

    Then again, maybe it's because I've not been out much except to see the miserable obese crumblies behind the desk in the Job Centre or the push-chair shoving slags 'n' slappers who walk the streets by day. And I suppose I'll get used to my new colleagues and eventually be able to start looking them in the eye and even seeing what their faces look like too.

    Anyway, it doesn't change my point. I'm getting paid to interface collaboratively by constructive discourse with fit birds.

    So to all those on the bench:

    Keep searching and keep applying. In a few weeks the weather will get warmer and you NEED to be in a gig by spring or you'll miss the stripping off of the winter cardigans for the exposure of all the floral-design bras showing through tightly stretched tops.

    (Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)

    You do that and I'll tell everyone on here about your "Reader's Own" column in Windows Users Monthly.
    If my old Grandad was reading this he'd say "That boy needs a bloody good bunk-up"

    HTH

    Leave a comment:


  • threaded
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    (Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)
    You called?

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X