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Two reasons to get de-benched: boobies

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    #11
    Is this thread not in LR yet?

    I shall resist the temptation to email a link to Mrs RC

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      #12
      Originally posted by TykeMerc View Post
      I'm now convinced that RC's dressing gown has taken on Arthur Dentish durability and will remain part of the CUK culture.
      Yep.
      Behold the warranty -- the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

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        #13
        Sexist? Nah! I'm celebrating working somewhere that recruits according to ability, not gender. Hence the place is full of intelligent, competent people of both genders instead of either geezers who can only talk about football, or fake-blonde airheads who go running to HR if you as much as say "Good morning!" to them.

        It just so happens that the women at ClientCo seem to be, mostly, as fit as a butcher's dog.

        Then again, maybe it's because I've not been out much except to see the miserable obese crumblies behind the desk in the Job Centre or the push-chair shoving slags 'n' slappers who walk the streets by day. And I suppose I'll get used to my new colleagues and eventually be able to start looking them in the eye and even seeing what their faces look like too.

        Anyway, it doesn't change my point. I'm getting paid to interface collaboratively by constructive discourse with fit birds.

        So to all those on the bench:

        Keep searching and keep applying. In a few weeks the weather will get warmer and you NEED to be in a gig by spring or you'll miss the stripping off of the winter cardigans for the exposure of all the floral-design bras showing through tightly stretched tops.

        (Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)

        Originally posted by NickFitz View Post
        I shall resist the temptation to email a link to Mrs RC
        You do that and I'll tell everyone on here about your "Reader's Own" column in Windows Users Monthly.
        My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

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          #14
          Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
          (Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)
          You called?
          Insanity: repeating the same actions, but expecting different results.
          threadeds website, and here's my blog.

          Comment


            #15
            Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
            Sexist? Nah! I'm celebrating working somewhere that recruits according to ability, not gender. Hence the place is full of intelligent, competent people of both genders instead of either geezers who can only talk about football, or fake-blonde airheads who go running to HR if you as much as say "Good morning!" to them.

            It just so happens that the women at ClientCo seem to be, mostly, as fit as a butcher's dog.

            Then again, maybe it's because I've not been out much except to see the miserable obese crumblies behind the desk in the Job Centre or the push-chair shoving slags 'n' slappers who walk the streets by day. And I suppose I'll get used to my new colleagues and eventually be able to start looking them in the eye and even seeing what their faces look like too.

            Anyway, it doesn't change my point. I'm getting paid to interface collaboratively by constructive discourse with fit birds.

            So to all those on the bench:

            Keep searching and keep applying. In a few weeks the weather will get warmer and you NEED to be in a gig by spring or you'll miss the stripping off of the winter cardigans for the exposure of all the floral-design bras showing through tightly stretched tops.

            (Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)

            You do that and I'll tell everyone on here about your "Reader's Own" column in Windows Users Monthly.
            If my old Grandad was reading this he'd say "That boy needs a bloody good bunk-up"

            HTH
            Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

            Comment


              #16
              "(Or, for the benched ladies: just think of those lean, fit blokes that cycle to work or go jogging at lunchtimes and then leap straight into the showers, sweating and panting and full of adrenaline, testosterone and excess energy...)"

              If ever there was an incentive to stay on the bench, this is it..........................

              NoW excuse me, I have a rugby match to go and watch.
              "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." - Orson Welles

              Norrahe's blog

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                #17
                Originally posted by norrahe View Post
                If ever there was an incentive to stay on the bench, this is it..........................
                So should I scrap the Plan B of being a Black Lace novelist?
                My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

                Comment


                  #18
                  Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
                  So should I scrap the Plan B of being a Black Lace novelist?
                  I think so

                  Room for improvement
                  "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." - Orson Welles

                  Norrahe's blog

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                    #19
                    Originally posted by threaded View Post
                    You called?
                    Wrong number.

                    Comment


                      #20
                      Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
                      In my two weeks at my new gig, two things have struck me as firm benefits of gigdom: chest potatoes.

                      ClientCo is all open plan and the heating is hot, hot, hot.

                      And since ClientCo is oop Norf, and as we all know, Northern lasses try harder, the crumpet is hot! HOT! HOT!

                      The totty at ClientCo are all particularly fit, well dressed, armed with platform bras, revealed cleavages you could file your post in and stiletto FMBs that make your spine tingle with the thought of being walked over.

                      For any benched gentlemen out there: YouPron is a very poor substitute for the brunette who does the coffee run four times a day and insists on bouncing unnecessarily as she walks. She spills more than she delivers, but nobody complains.

                      And the blonde with her hair in bunches - yes, bunches! - wiggles as she walks making her latino silk skirts fly up and reveal her stocking tops... and the way she looks at you when she catches you looking... a half wink and a scowl and then a flick of a heel.

                      Lordy, lordy. I can't believe they are paying me SO MUCH MONEY to sit there dribbling saliva into my lap.

                      There's even a user department of civil engineers; Equal Ops legislation has seen to it half of them are coy bespectacled babes who go all soft around the limbs when you show respect for their intellect; I thought shooting fish in a barrel was supposed to get you wet... Oh to be 24 again.

                      I wonder how much longer I can stay there before they point out I ought to get on with doing some work.
                      Dear Mr Cranium

                      Are you sure this is a gig, or have you taken to ingesting hallucinogenic substances?

                      boobies indeed!

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