Reply to: Best swear word

[wendigo100]

The universal best swear-word is obviously c***. I was reminded of this Peter Cook joke recently:



There are two guys talking.

The first one says: “You know, the day I met you, I thought you were a c***. And every time we’ve met since I thought you were a c***. And it can’t just be me, because everyone who’s ever met you thinks you are a c***, and probably everyone who will ever meet you will think you’re a c***. In fact, you’ve got to be the second-biggest c*** in the world.”

The second guy thinks about this for a while.

“So the day you met me you thought I was a c***?”

“Yep.”

“And every day since you’ve thought I was a . . .”

“Right.”

“And everyone I’ve ever met thinks I’m a . . .”

“You got it.”

“And everyone I will ever meet will think I’m a . . .”

“Uh-huh.”

“So how comes,” he says, triumphantly, “I’m only the second biggest c*** in the world?”


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The first guy looks at him with total contempt. “Because you’re a c***,” he says.

[Zed!]

Anything combining crack and some swear word tends to be pretty awe-inspiring. Crack whore, crack f*cker, you crack****, c*nting crackhead. Great for family get-togethers.

[wobbegong]

A weasel-faced arse . . . no, wait . . . an arse-faced weasel.

Oh, I don't know.

[Board Game Geek]

Civil Servant :-)

though usually I just use "Dingbat", "Fruitbat" or something along those lines, and never spoken with venom or malice, but with a smile and warmth, almost as a term of endearment.

[realityhack]

Sounds like SA's friends husband....

[Addanc]

Smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead

[wobbegong]

Donkey raping tulip eater?

Oh, you sh*tfaced c*ckmaster!

[BigPhill]

swearword

I like Crockadillyf**kpig meaning someone very ugly (taken from Jackspeak)

[Buffoon]

There was a good insult in Alian Nation; "your mother mates out of season".

[Swiss Tony]

"Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d’enculé de ta mère.”

or in English (very roughly):

In the name of god's wh*re of blo*dy hell, filthy **** of your mothers ar*shole

[DaveB]

Of course you can just get Shakespearean on their ass :

Hence rotten thing! Or I shall shake thy bones out of thy garments.

Thou jarring half-faced minnow!

Thou goatish onion-eyed whey-face!

Thou reeky guts-griping foot-licker!

Thou infectious hell-hated devil-mon!

Thou artless full-gorged puttock!



And my personal favorite :

Thou idol of idiot worshipers

The best insults are always the ones the target has to think about first

[Warrior Princess]

Disgusting language WP. Now come here and get over my knee for a spanking!

Anytime!!!

[MarillionFan]

Disgusting language WP. Now come here and get over my knee for a spanking!

[Warrior Princess]

Not that one uses such language but one of my favourites...

‘F*ck-ka-doo-laa-doo’

[MarillionFan]

You AtW!