Reply to: A brief note to client of client

[doodab]

Suck it up bitch and think of the money!

I only make the product, some other poor sod does the implementations. I try and make it as easy as possible for them but there is only so much you can do....

[NotAllThere]

And extremely highly paid.

[suityou01]

Sorting out the connectivity and interfaces between SAP R/3, BW and TM1, explaining technical concepts in words of one syllable for the offshore team comprised mainly of kids like you.

As long as they're keeping you busy

[NotAllThere]

What's your role old timer?

Sorting out the connectivity and interfaces between SAP R/3, BW and TM1, explaining technical concepts in words of one syllable for the offshore team comprised mainly of kids like you.

[suityou01]

Are those projects in trouble before Suity arrives? Or does it happen, by coincidence, once he's there?

Don't want to let facts get in the way here but the last 4 projects were dug out of the tulipe by yours truly.

As you were deluded s

[Bunk]

Wait till the project is going tits up, then call Suity to the rescue.

Then cue inevitable tragedy.

Are those projects in trouble before Suity arrives? Or does it happen, by coincidence, once he's there?

[suityou01]

I've just started on an "agile" project. I don't seem to be doing anything differently from how I'd normally do it, except there are more meetings.

What's your role old timer?

[NotAllThere]

I've just started on an "agile" project. I don't seem to be doing anything differently from how I'd normally do it, except there are more meetings.

[suityou01]

Dear sirs,

When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.

Starting threads like this is a sure fire way to get panned on here by thick childish s.

I feel your pain buddy. Why not create a traceability matrix?

[Churchill]

Dear sirs,

When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.

Suck it up bitch and think of the money!

[bless 'em all]

Ah! An expert! <offers hand to shake>

I understand the term is 'Guru' or 'Thought Leader'

HTH

[Platypus]

It's not considered polite in meetings in those clients to call out "bingo" within the first 2-3 minutes of the stand-up meeting. It's usually more polite to sit/stand out the meeting thinking of better ways to live and, once it's finished, pat the manglement on the back, congratulate them for a very agile meeting, ask them if they've changed their style of BrylCreem application as they look ever so agile today, point out how the buttons on their shirts may be flying around the room in a very agile fashion if they have any more long agile lunches before ignoring them and going off to do it properly yourself. If the senior manglement ask about what you think about agile working, make sure you fidget endlessly while you speak and tell them that fidgetsizing is the latest agile mechanism that's proven to get 5% more work and 4% greater accuracy in programmer hours.

Ah! An expert! <offers hand to shake>

[craig1]

Dear sirs,

When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.

It's not considered polite in meetings in those clients to call out "bingo" within the first 2-3 minutes of the stand-up meeting. It's usually more polite to sit/stand out the meeting thinking of better ways to live and, once it's finished, pat the manglement on the back, congratulate them for a very agile meeting, ask them if they've changed their style of BrylCreem application as they look ever so agile today, point out how the buttons on their shirts may be flying around the room in a very agile fashion if they have any more long agile lunches before ignoring them and going off to do it properly yourself. If the senior manglement ask about what you think about agile working, make sure you fidget endlessly while you speak and tell them that fidgetsizing is the latest agile mechanism that's proven to get 5% more work and 4% greater accuracy in programmer hours.

[Platypus]

I'm pretty sure he isn't involved. Though he might be...

Wait till the project is going tits up, then call Suity to the rescue.

Then cue inevitable tragedy.

[doodab]

Oh Suity! <canned laughter>

I'm pretty sure he isn't involved. Though he might be...