Reply to: Why Does the World Hate the Jews?

[Mailman]

A surprise coming?

I guess the same thing will happen as happened on the 22nd of August last year. Namely nothing

Although maybe they planning on opening their oil burse on that date...you remember that dont ya...the one supposed to open last march

Mailman

[Numptycorner]

That is purely because their religion requires them to carry Semtex at all times.
...

Are we on to the Oirish now?

[wendigo100]

Talking of which, this morning as I pulled out of the drive, I saw across the road a large black van surrounded by men in combat gear and carrying side arms, with about 4 police cars at each end. Looks like one of the neighbours was caught speeding again. Or some Brazilian electricians have been misbehaving. Luton eh? What a place.

Sh1t I'm sorry Fungus. I didn't know you had to live in Luton.

[xoggoth]

A surprise coming?

[xoggoth]

Beats me why Jews and Muslims don't get on famously give all the millions of similar daft rules they have about things. Or maybe that's why they don't, perhaps one is obliged to scratch his left elbow three times after eating eggs after 3pm on a weekday and the other insists it should be four.

Serious answer. No idea, they never seem to cause any problems for the rest of society, unlike some.

[mcquiggd]

Nope, these days the brasilian immigrants have been pushed out by the polish ones.

Dont worry though, as soon you will have police officers recruited from poland protecting you - as they understand the criminal gangs from that location.

See, everywhere you look, immigration has a plus point.

[Fungus]

Talking of which, this morning as I pulled out of the drive, I saw across the road a large black van surrounded by men in combat gear and carrying side arms, with about 4 police cars at each end. Looks like one of the neighbours was caught speeding again. Or some Brazilian electricians have been misbehaving. Luton eh? What a place.

[mcquiggd]

Yeah well it makes a change from doing over those peace loving terrorist islamies who keep detonating on public transport!

Mailman

That is purely because their religion requires them to carry Semtex at all times.

I mean, next you will try banning sikhs from carrying long knives to school!



John Reid will sort your kind out, racist pig dog. After a period of consultation.......

[Fungus]

Hands up everyone who is partial to bagels, chicken soup and matzos? I thought so, a healthy contingent of bagel merchants. And why not.

I don't hate Jews. I think I like almost all that I've met. I think that is the case of most Brits.

So, what's your problem me old cod-Christian-fundamentalist troll? Not getting your leg over with that tasty female Vicar at the local chapel eh?

[Numptycorner]

Numptycorner, you are in short a dick, plain and simple. A dick with very little going for it I presume, but a dick none the less.

You presume too much my hooked nosed, tight fist loving PC friend.

[ShimSham]

We could do with a guy like him today, i.e. Tell the big nosed tight fisted war mongering coonts where to go.

Numptycorner, you are in short a dick, plain and simple. A dick with very little going for it I presume, but a dick none the less.

[Numptycorner]

The typical PC rubbish I have come to expect from you!

[Mailman]

How nice of you to stick-up for the Jews Mailman. Wouldn't have thought 'you gave a tulip' tbh.

Yeah well it makes a change from doing over those peace loving terrorist islamies who keep detonating on public transport!

Mailman

[DaveB]

I thnk this sums it all up quite nicely....

Titles on Screen:

Judea A.D. 33

Saturday Afternoon

About Tea-Time

(We hear the distant voice of Jesus Christ floating towards us and cut to see
him standing at the summit of a hill. Around him as we track backwards are
thousands of people, listening to his words

Jesus: How blest are the sorrowful, for they shall find consolation.
How blest are those of gentle spirit.
They shall have the earth for their posession.
How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right prevail.
They shall be satisfied...

(CHRIST's voice gets fainter as we pull back from him revealing the enormous
size of the crowd. Standing nearby, isolated but alert, is a large contingent
of Roman soldiers drawn up in serried ranks, armed, impassive, on foreign
extra-weekend duty, keeping an eye on a large and potentially anti-Roman
crowd.)

(We are a long way back from JESUS now, on another hillside towards the back
of this huge multitude. His voice is barely audible on the wind. People are
straining to hear. The camera comes to rest by Mandy, older now by thirty-
three years, but still a ratbag.)

Mandy: Speak up!
Brian: Mum! Sh!
Mandy: Well I can't hear a thing! Let's go to the stoning.
Big-nose: Sh!
Brian: You can go to a stoning any time.
Mandy: Oh, come on Brian!
Big-nose: Will you be quiet?
Big-nose's wife: Don't pick your nose.
Big-nose: I wasn't picking my nose ... I was scratching.
Wife: You were picking it while you were talking to that lady.
Big-nose: I wasn't.
Wife: Leave it alone...give it a rest...
Cheeky Man: Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's saying.
Wife: Don't you "do you mind" me...I'm talking to my husband.
Cheeky Man: Well go and talk to him somewhere else! I can't hear a bloody
thing!
Big-nose: Don't you swear at my wife.
Cheeky Man: I was only asking her to shut up so we can hear what he's saying,
Big-nose.
Wife: Don't you call my husband "Big-nose."
Cheeky Man: Well he has got a big nose.

(Suddenly another rather well-heeled Jew in a toga turns around. He constantly
has trouble with his toga and has to keep pushing it back in place. His voice
is very cultured. A small boy is holding a large parasol over his head.
He is Gregory and he is out for the day with his wife.)

Gregory: Could you be quiet, please?
(to Cheeky Man) What was that?
Cheeky Man: I don't know...I was too busy talking to Big-nose.
Man Further Forward: I think it was "Blessed are the Cheesemakers."
Wife: What's so special about the cheesemakers?
Gregory: It's not meant to be taken literally. Obviously it refers to any
manufacturers of dairy products.
Cheeky Man: See, if you hadn't been going on, you'd have heard that, Big-nose.
Big-nose: Hey, if you say that once more, I'll smash your ******* face in.
Cheeky Man: Better keep listening...might be a bit about "Blessed are the big
noses."
Brian: Oh, lay off him!
Cheeky Man: (rounding on Brian) You're not so bad yourself, Conchface. Where
are you two from? Nose City?
Big-nose: Listen! I said one more time...mate and I'll take you to the
******* cleaners.
Wife: Language! And don't pick your nose!
Big-nose: I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was going to thump him.
Other Person: I think it was "Blessed are the Greek."
Gregory: *The* Greek?
Other Person: Apparently he's going to inherit the earth.
Gregory: Did anyone catch his name?
Big-nose: I'll thump him if he calls me Big-nose again.
Cheeky Man: Oh shut up, Big-nose.
Big-nose: Ooh! Right! I warned you...I really will slug you so hard...
Wife: Oh it's the *Meek*...blessed are the Meek! That's nice, I'm glad
they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.
Cheeky Man: Listen, I'm only telling the truth...you have got a very big nose.
Big-nose: (trying desperately to control his anger)
*Your* nose is going to be three foot wide across your face when
I've finished with you.
Cheeky Man: Who hit yours then? Goliath's big brother?
Big-nose: Oooh...oohh...aargh...ah
(supreme self-control)
That's your last warning...
Mrs. Gregory: Oh do pipe d...

(Big-nose lets fly an almighty punch, but the Cheeky Man ducks and he hits Mrs.
Gregory hard in the face. Horrible crunching of fist on bone. A general
scuffle breaks out.)

Big-nose: Silly bitch, getting in the way.
Mandy: Brian! Come on, let's go to the stoning.
Brian: All right.

**** Here endeth Part Three of Life of Brian (of Nazareth) ****

[Numptycorner]

We could do with a guy like him today, i.e. Tell the big nosed tight fisted war mongering coonts where to go.