Cold Callers

[stek]

Just answer the door naked whilst playing death metal on your stereo if it's Jehovahs, they just don't seem to cope

My URC minister friend said always target the 'assistant'; they're being trained by the one who's doing the gabbing and you can easily fluster them!

[amcdonald]

Just answer the door naked whilst playing death metal on your stereo if it's Jehovahs, they just don't seem to cope

[Paddy]

Next time I'll show them this:

Marshalls' Tips on Avoiding 'Cowboy' Contractors

• Professional contractors do not solicit business by cold calling - homeowners should be suspicious of anyone who intrudes into the privacy of their own home selling services or products
• Be firm with cold callers – decline their services and close the door – do not be pushed into long conversations or accepting their services

True Story.
Cold caller: “We are a New Zeeland Oceanography Institute. Can we survey Bournemouth Bay? We will give you a free report”
Bournemouth Council: “A free report? Yes please, go ahead”
Cold caller: “Here is our report. It’s good news. The bay is ideal for a surf reef. Think of all the tourists that will come. Would you like a reef?”
Bournemouth Council: “Yes please! Here is £11,000,000 in advance. BTW, thanks for the free air tickets and holiday.”
Cold caller: “We will build it next week” [ Next week Cold caller drops a few cheap sandbags in the water].
Bournemouth Council: “Where are the waves?”
Cold caller: “Read the small print schmuck!”
Bournemouth Council: “Oh, no waves guaranteed.”
Months later.
Bournemouth Council: “Hello, all the sand is leaking out of the bags, what do we do”
Cold caller: “We are in NZ. You can’t do FA”
Bournemouth Council: “That was close, at least it is only tax payers money”

[EternalOptimist]

I have a very large and stern poster on my door, but they still try.
The worst one was a large bloke with an oirish accent in a beat up old transit who banged like heck on the door then told me that I had a loose tile and would get flooded next time it rained.
I could easily see how he could intimidate folks

[eek]

I'm quite happy to close the door in their faces after a polite 'No thanks'.

I just skip the no thanks bit. My wife says doing that is rude, my viewpoint is that I should be entitled to kill them without punishment.

Same with cold calls.

[cojak]

I'm quite happy to close the door in their faces after a polite 'No thanks'.

[minestrone]

I have a no cold callers sticker on my door and they ignore that, it gets annoying as if I am home during the day I will be working.

But my bell has been broken for a year or so and I don't think I have any intention of fixing it. If I am expecting someone I leave the storm doors open and they will knock the door, the neighbours know my mobile number and text to leave messages. Quite happy with the way it is working out really.

[mudskipper]

Next time I'll show them this:

Marshalls' Tips on Avoiding 'Cowboy' Contractors

• Professional contractors do not solicit business by cold calling - homeowners should be suspicious of anyone who intrudes into the privacy of their own home selling services or products
• Be firm with cold callers – decline their services and close the door – do not be pushed into long conversations or accepting their services

[BrilloPad]

We have an notice that says "no callers without appointment" which has kept away the vast majority.

JW did call once and MrsBP pointed to the notice to which they replied "we didn't think it applied to us". MrsBP "It applies to you more than most". God that woman has an acid tongue.

[mudskipper]

I've had so many callers from Marshall's Driveways that I've stuck a note on the door saying "I don't want a Marshall's Driveway". They haven't called since.

[original PM]

I seem to have made friends with my local Jehovahs guy - I was bored once when he came down the path and I was having a smoke so I talked to him.

Explained that as a science type person I struggle with the concept of god - he gave me some literature but he could tell I was not convinced - interestingly enough the stuff he gave me was about scientist who were also JW's - seems contradictory to me.

Anyway he left without convinving me and came back a few weeks later with some hot broad - not sure if this was another way to try and entice me.....

but anyway cannot be come a JW as the kids love birthdays too much!

[stek]

Whilst on the bench this week I've had two cold callers, one smarmy twaat trying to sell me Play's new streaming thing or something during the denouement of the Ashes test yesterday, he got short shrift as Broady was in full mettle, and two women now with a leaflet that caught my eye immediately just saw the word 'Pornography' but then she cleverly, just like Derren Brown, slid the 'Watchtower' on top if it and started on about the perils of porn.

I did tell her I have no objection to pornography just I needed to go as it's given me a idea of what to do for the next 2 minutes....

Except I didn't actually say it, just thought of it afterwards...

We never get cold callers round here - bottom of Cul de Sac down a hill, not many people fancy it...

Worse, I've only got one Holland's Lancashire Hotpot left and ASDA have run out...