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Previously on "The too many boyos with too much time and not enough imagination thread."

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  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by Pondlife View Post
    A ha said our hero, I've seen this sort before. The trick is to make sure your tool is well lubricated and then when inserted ensure you apply enough upward force to hit the sweet spot inside the mechanism. Pretty soon after that with a bit of waggling about you should hear a pop. Job done, everyone's happy.

    So with his trusty tool in hand he walked towards the evil woman...
    Unfortunately MF distracted by someone bending over to pick up the Soap suddenly found himself transported back to those heady days in Frisco, Susan let out a scream and then a yelp and whilst her cherry was still intact her fig was most definitely gone now. There was more than one way to get round a chastity belt.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    A ha said our hero, I've seen this sort before. The trick is to make sure your tool is well lubricated and then when inserted ensure you apply enough upward force to hit the sweet spot inside the mechanism. Pretty soon after that with a bit of waggling about you should hear a pop. Job done, everyone's happy.

    So with his trusty tool in hand he walked towards the evil woman...

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
    You lot are total fecking nutjobs.
    "You lot are total fecking nutjobs." said Susan.
    "Wash your potty mouth out!" declared her wicked stepmother and handed her the soap, which slipped out of her lily-white hands and landed on the floor beside the bench.
    As she bent to pick it up, a gust of wind lifted her skirt, revealing her padlocked chastity belt.
    Our handsome hero, faced with such a challenge, got out his lock-pick, but this was no cheap lock - oh no - it was a Yale! What could he do?

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Why thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • cailin maith
    replied
    You lot are total fecking nutjobs.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    MF said 'But I thought you were a Bridesmaid, that's allowed if the wife is late. Did you have any need for a sled?'
    Shortly after the police arrived to take his statement MF broke down. He just couldn't take it anymore. All the lies and creeping around had to stop and stop now. It had all started on one of his regular 'business trips' to San Fransisco. He loved Frisco; the warm weather, the cheap drinks and the ability to experiment with alternative lifestyle parameters without judgement. As he sat their crying he longed to be back there, back with Ernesto. Soon his wife would be there to pick him up. How he hated her judgement, apparently it was fine for her to sleep in one of his T-Shirts or parade around the house in her underwear and one of his shirts but when she came home and found him in front of the dress mirror in her favourite little black dress she was livid. Ok, so maybe he had stretched the material a little and broke the zipper but he knew he looked fabulous...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    But she was caught nearly nude with a short, fat, balding ugly bloke. Susan shouted "MF tried to force himself upon me".
    MF said 'But I thought you were a Bridesmaid, that's allowed if the wife is late. Did you have any need for a sled?'

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    Luckily the British government bail them out and add it the national debt, the naughty bank directors are told to not let it happen again.

    Susan still waiting expectantly feels a chill creep over her, her wicked stepmother NLYUK is walking up the stairs, will she be caught nearly nude with a strange muscley man in her boudoir?
    But she was caught nearly nude with a short, fat, balding ugly bloke. Susan shouted "MF tried to force himself upon me".

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    Unfortunately becuase the CEO of the bank was up to his eyes in coke and hookers this error didn't come to light for several weeks, by which time the bank was on the verge of bankruptcy.
    Luckily the British government bail them out and add it the national debt, the naughty bank directors are told to not let it happen again.

    Susan still waiting expectantly feels a chill creep over her, her wicked stepmother NLYUK is walking up the stairs, will she be caught nearly nude with a strange muscley man in her boudoir?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Rydym yn caniatáu y Cymry i gael mynediad i'r rhyngrwyd, apparently.
    we allow the pants to get internet access??

    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    But unfortunately the bank's rounding code had been written by Bob, and instead of rounding down it rounded up, leaving William's account forty-seven billion rupees in debt at the end of the first day.
    Unfortunately becuase the CEO of the bank was up to his eyes in coke and hookers this error didn't come to light for several weeks, by which time the bank was on the verge of bankruptcy.

    Leave a comment:


  • SimonMac
    replied
    Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
    We allow the Welsh ot access the internet?!?
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • TheFaQQer
    replied
    Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
    The too many boyos with too much time and not enough imagination thread.
    We allow the Welsh on here?!?

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Originally posted by Pondlife View Post
    As Rajesh, or William as he was better known to his customers, waited for the Sales Rep to reboot the PC for the third time his mind wandered to his favourite place. To the dreams and hopes he had for a better life outside of the relatively well paid air-conditioned office job. He'd seen Slumdog Millionaire five times and knew that it was possible. Rajesh had another job working at the call centre for Barclays and had written a program that would round off all the decimal pennies and place the money in a special account, just for him. The plan was fool proof and Rajesh congratulated himself daily on being the first to think of it...
    But unfortunately the bank's rounding code had been written by Bob, and instead of rounding down it rounded up, leaving William's account forty-seven billion rupees in debt at the end of the first day.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
    ...Dell's regional sales representative, and although he had all the gear he couldn't install it and had to phone a helpdesk in Bangalore to ask someone called Rajesh who sounded like a Welshman to explain...
    As Rajesh, or William as he was better known to his customers, waited for the Sales Rep to reboot the PC for the third time his mind wandered to his favourite place. To the dreams and hopes he had for a better life outside of the relatively well paid air-conditioned office job. He'd seen Slumdog Millionaire five times and knew that it was possible. Rajesh had another job working at the call centre for Barclays and had written a program that would round off all the decimal pennies and place the money in a special account, just for him. The plan was fool proof and Rajesh congratulated himself daily on being the first to think of it...

    Leave a comment:

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