Reply to: Wail- abuser who 'didn't know' that sex with a girl of 13 was illegal is spared jail

[formant]

Your parents paid for you to go the States to lose your virginity!! .... that's a very liberal attitude!

You should have auctioned it off on eBay

Haha, well let's say they were blatantly aware that I was going to get laid over there. They didn't know I hadn't previously. What they officially paid for was for me to go and live with my then long-term online-boyfriend's family. But yeah, they knew the 'risks'.

TBH, I'd rather be aware of what my kid is up to sexually (although not in too much detail) and give my permission where it's 'not that bad', than cover my ears and eyes about that sort of thing and have them make incredibly poor choices without getting a chance to talk some sense into them.

[mos]

The muslim thing is tabloids trying to make a story out of something that is happening every day in a street near you.

That is why I am so grateful to live in good part of Kensington

[mudskipper]

I don't think there is any evidence in the article that he was let off leniently because "he didn't know" or because he'd been taught that women are lollipops (I'm sure cojak has a view on that one!), although these were no doubt offered as mitigation

I suspect he did not get a custodial sentence because the judge rightly or wrongly decided that, due to the age, maturity and circumstances of both the accused and the victim, the facts of the case weren't as simple as 'adult has sex with child'. The muslim thing is tabloids trying to make a story out of something that is happening every day in a street near you.

18 and 13 is pushing it, but if you locked up every boy over 16 who had sex with a girl under 16, there'd be no room in the prisons for the murderers and tax dodgers.

[minestrone]

Ignorantia juris non excusat.

[Troll]

As it stands I lost my virginity at nearly 17 to a boy in the states, whom I'd met online at 14. With my parents consent and funding I went over there

Your parents paid for you to go the States to lose your virginity!! .... that's a very liberal attitude!

You should have auctioned it off on eBay

[xoggoth]

You would think Madrassas would be as regulated as any UK school/clubs for children but they aren't, but not according to the BBC:

BBC News - Child abuse claims at UK madrassas 'tip of iceberg'

This is not new news, an Imam warned of the problem a few years back, but when it comes to minority practices in general little is ever done. There has never been a single prosecution for FGM for example. Different attitudes, the unwillingness of those within them to inform on their own kind, failure of authorities to understand the problems, fear of appearing racist.

All inevitable consequences of the ridiculous and unworkable concept of multiculturalism.

[mos]

Nope. Half his age plus 7 is the golden rule for adults, and it extrapolates quite well to teenagers IMO.

Is your rule also working for older woman ?

[mos]

And I think that's the point. The judge presumably looked beyond the ages at the circumstances. I suspect the tabloids have emphasised the "muslim" thing to stir up a bit of a story.

We would have to read the transcript to see whether his madrasa upbringing was indeed his line of defence. I agree that if his defence was that "we are in love" it would not be on the news, but would he be let off?

[EternalOptimist]

Legality is based on arbitrary number

ho ho. i do hope that was deliberate

[formant]

How many females on this board wish they'd made a more informed decision about who to lose their virginity to?

As it stands I lost my virginity at nearly 17 to a boy in the states, whom I'd met online at 14. With my parents consent and funding I went over there for a year to live with his family as an exchange student. So, yeah, he cheated on me like there was no tomorrow, and of course the relationship didn't last, but jeez - you live you learn. I wouldn't have wanted it to have it any other way, I wasn't exploited, and I knew exactly what I was doing. And if it hadn't been for the geographical distance I would have done it all at 14 already.

May explain my liberal attitude to this sort of thing.

[formant]

The question here is whether the girl of 13, possibly from dysfunctional home should not be protected by law in such scenario at least until she reaches some maturity and is more capable of the informed decision making?

If that's what she wants she's going to do it - enough cases out there where the 12/13/14 year old simply lied about her age to get the 18/19/20-something year old to sleep with her. Nothing the law can do if a young teenager decides she wants to have sex.

And as a parent, presumably middle class, would you want for your daughter of 13 to loose "cherry" in such circumstances?

As a middle class parent, I'd raise my daughter to know that she can do a lot better than 'lose her cherry' in such or similar circumstances. I wouldn't blame the guy if she clearly wanted it. I'd just make sure my daughter has slightly higher standards.

Generally, 18yo boy/13 yo girl = wrong. But without knowing the young people involved, it's impossible to make a judgement on relative maturity / sexual experience of the two involved. Presumably the judge was in a position to make that sort of judgement.

Pretty much agree with this. I would add that there are many circumstances whereby a 13-year-old girl would be significantly more sexually experienced that an 18-year-old boy and where she would be subsequently perfectly able to consent. These sort of things must be assessed on a case-by-case basis.

[mudskipper]

Legality is based on arbitrary number - if they were Mexican there wouldn't be an issue

And I think that's the point. The judge presumably looked beyond the ages at the circumstances. I suspect the tabloids have emphasised the "muslim" thing to stir up a bit of a story.

[Troll]

Maybe I am missing something. The defence of the guy was: he was taught that girls are 'worthless ' and are 'like a lollypop picked up from the ground'.

He is clearly a psychopath and should not be allowed to walk free under any circumstances. If he was not deemed competent enough to go to jail for breaking the law where he could be subject to intensive re-education about British values then he should be locked in mental hospital until deemed sufficiently competent to coexist in British society.

Not sure that is relevant

The question here is whether the girl of 13, possibly from dysfunctional home should not be protected by law in such scenario at least until she reaches some maturity and is more capable of the informed decision making?

How many females on this board wish they'd made a more informed decision about who to lose their virginity to?

And as a parent, presumably middle class, would you want for your daughter of 13 to loose "cherry" in such circumstances?

I would have been absolutely mortified if that had happened

[BrilloPad]

He's not innocent - he broke the law. The question is whether he should have been castrated for what he did.

FTFY

[Troll]

I think it's impossible to generalise

The difference is, it's not illegal.

Legality is based on arbitrary number - if they were Mexican there wouldn't be an issue