An old one but good one

[SantaClaus]

"I'm now sat here with a dilemma, my Penis is now at least 75% BBQ Sausage and the Near-Bum Plums have buggered off back inside my Womb, It's safe to say that by the end of the night I will most definitely have a Vagina."

"Should anyone wish to experience a similar level of pain, I suggest lowering your love spuds into a pan of boiling cillit bang, whilst getting a friend or colleague to roughly insert a pineapple into the suntanned cyclops using a six pound sledgehammer and a good run up."


And the moral of the story is...

... learn to love your hairy dick.

[vetran]

My selection

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus

WARNING: Do not use if you are catholic. A friend of mine also used this, and is now caught up in a lawsuit with a confused priest.

[OwlHoot]

A very old one...

http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...-bollocks.html

http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...val-cream.html

Well worth reposting though, because several more reviews have been added

[Spacecadet]

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen

[northernladuk]

A very old one...

http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...-bollocks.html

http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...val-cream.html

[psychocandy]

Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml