Reply to: (More) Really stupid things you've done

[Old Hack]

Unfortunately it's not confined to this thread you imbecile.

Feel better?

Of course, you are right about the thread, but I'd check the stalking order again, were I you.

[Sysman]

Reminds me of a time a copuple of us were visiting a client and he was standing right in front of the lift to greet us. We started saying hello and shaking hands and the lift doors closed and we went back down.

One place I lived in had a lift directly into the apartment, key needed to go to that floor (Y2K loot).

One day I got a call from the cleaner on my own phone saying she had locked herself out. I could also hear the steam iron puffing away.

HOW THE HECK ARE YOU PHONING FROM MY PHONE WHEN YOU ARE LOCKED OUT?

I couldn't understand what she'd done until I got home, took the lift up and saw her keys in the lock on the lift side of the door. The lift door had shut while she was locking up to leave, and she'd panicked and let go of the key.

How had she got in again? Some workmen were in the flat next door and they let her in and helped her climb over the dividing balcony wall. Fortunately she had left the balcony door open.

[fckvwls]

Ah yes, that old nuggest, yet if you followed the thread, you'd notice the stalking was on the other foot. Not wanting to point out the error of your ways or anything, but maybe a little check first would reveal something, maybe? Possibly?

As for when, well, when he's no longer a fat chunt, I guess. Now, being who he is, that isn't going to happen fast is it.

Unfortunately it's not confined to this thread you imbecile.

[Old Hack]

When do you think you might get tired of the SB stalking/fat theme and join the rest of us that find it tedious and childish? You're even recycling images ffs.

Ah yes, that old nuggest, yet if you followed the thread, you'd notice the stalking was on the other foot. Not wanting to point out the error of your ways or anything, but maybe a little check first would reveal something, maybe? Possibly?

As for when, well, when he's no longer a fat chunt, I guess. Now, being who he is, that isn't going to happen fast is it.

[Sysman]

I was down to the last two for a permie gig, after his interview the other candidate walked straight into a glass door and knocked himself out cold, I got the job.

There was a very comfy looking office chair at Rank Xerox.

Lean back and the thing would keel over.

The gits knew it did that but didn't warn me.

But it did break the ice and we got on fine after that.

[Sysman]

A a fresh-faced young permie, just started a new job, my boss and I went to a client site. Signed in at reception, and told to go through the doors into the main area. My boss pushed, but the doors wouldn't open.

"Do you need to do anything to open the doors for me?" he asked reception, thinking maybe they need to press a button to unlock them or something.
"Just pull...".

"One word from you, There", he muttered, "and you're fired". I couldn't stop laughing for quite a while.

That is a story I can relate to. I always learn which way doors open to avoid that mistake.

[fckvwls]

Fat boy, have you been drinking with your second lunch again?

Stop being a stereotype now will you, and start planning 2sies, the bus to the canteen should arrive in time...

When do you think you might get tired of the SB stalking/fat theme and join the rest of us that find it tedious and childish? You're even recycling images ffs.

[fckvwls]

I was down to the last two for a permie gig, after his interview the other candidate walked straight into a glass door and knocked himself out cold, I got the job.

Senior virus remover in Luton?

[Moose423956]

Too many to mention. A particularly costly one involved driving into an underground car park on a bright sunny day. Thought, should I take my sunglasses off? Nah, it'll be fine. Proceeded to drive into a wall and do several hundred pounds worth of damage. To the car, not the wall.

[Old Hack]

Oh well.....more washing for the missus eh?

Fat boy, have you been drinking with your second lunch again?

Stop being a stereotype now will you, and start planning 2sies, the bus to the canteen should arrive in time...

[EternalOptimist]

Pulled up at a roadhouse in the outback, checked in and asked the young blonde where the nearest bar was. 2km down the road.
So we unpacked, boots on and headed out for a nice 30 minute stretch, then a shed load of beer.
After 30 seconds the missus points at this corrugated shack, with loud carousing noises and says 'theres the bar'

'fck that sh1t 'ole' says I. 'I'd rather walk for 30 minutes and find a decent place'


So by the time I had walked halfway across the great sandy desert with me tongue dragging behind me, and the missus pecking me head, I had to turn back and admit that the receptionist may have got her kms confused with her metres.

[ELBBUBKUNPS]

1. Some guy walked out in front of my car when I was youth, was mouthy so gave him some verbal, 10mins later at traffic lights I see two guys approaching the car one of them the guy I gave verbal to, locked door thinking I was going to get a kicking then they waved there Police CID badges at me the guy was on duty under cover cop.

2. Spent 15mins getting a screen protector on my phone, thought it looked great couldnt see it even on it, 20mins later realised it wasnt actually on the phone I had pulled it off when I pulled the second backing off.

3. Let my girlfriend move in.

[xoggoth]

A a fresh-faced young permie, just started a new job, my boss and I went to a client site.

Reminds me of a time a copuple of us were visiting a client and he was standing right in front of the lift to greet us. We started saying hello and shaking hands and the lift doors closed and we went back down.

[shaunbhoy]

I noticed two nice looking French ladies camped next to us, an enchanté exchanged and a flirty look the French women have, which means 1,000,000 things, including you disgust me (nailed-on!),

Oh well.....more washing for the missus eh?

[d000hg]

I was down to the last two for a permie gig, after his interview the other candidate walked straight into a glass door and knocked himself out cold, I got the job.

And they got the £10k H&S settlement?