Reply to: Don't you just love it when ...

[speling bee]

I am so happy I am on a non-IT contract.

[mudskipper]

Well you know what they say......"You are what you eat!"

HTH

[d000hg]

SY, Sas is too busy amazing the salesman with his driving to reply right now.

[suityou01]

FFS you really are the saddest mediocre fookwit who ever failed to grace the IT profession.
I used to eat incompetent gimps like you for breakfast.

Care to back that up? I was the one in the right, and could prove it as I keep minutes of meetings.

[suityou01]

What would they test?

Lets say you have 1000 accounts in a salesforce system and you want to change the rep from A to B.

Lets say you build the Account List Primary Key, The Rep Key Before, The Rep Key after.
Lets say you run it through the reporting instance to check
Lets say that as the BI Manager you confirm it's correct.
Lets say you then ask the Administrator to do it ( a simple data change).

Why would you then test it in Dev, then test it in Test where the data doesnt exist, so it's uncheckable, then ask the business to sign it off in dev, then ask the business to sign it off in test, before agreeing a go and no go & getting someone to run it in Production.

IT people get really confused between simple data updates & development change control processes. It's the equivalent of doing an update sql statement. You build the select from to check it, you run it once against a copy of the data, you take a copy of the rows you're planning to change(just in case), then check it worked. You don't have 200 million ******* people checking it, doing 'stories', writing BRDS, discussing it for weeks, test plans etc. It's Business Intelligence not ******* some major ******* deployment for NASA.

IT Developers don't have a ******* clue about data let alone some bint in a back office.

I think it was a simple database update that went in without approval that ****ed Natwest.

[MarillionFan]

I feel you pain dude!

Some people seem to think db's exist to give them something to obsess over not to provide a service to the damn business

What a surprise. My account has been suspended again. 8th time in 4 weeks. Every Wednesday, Every Friday at near the same time & the fookers cannot work out what piece of integration on their tulipty side is doing it. I'm off to the pub and I'm charging.

[aussielong]

No, you don't have to hang around.
Just pop in and some cretinous gimp will pop up over the parapet in no time.

You're the old boy on "million dollar trader" aren't you?

[MarillionFan]

My reason for going is that I'm a contractor. It's their (the business') data and therefore they should sign off that it's correct, not someone who is an external supplier.

I'm contracted as BI/Reporting Manager. I'm tasked with cleaning their entire database, restructuring it, implementing a master data strategy, designing a datawarehouse, implementing it, training them. First thing I did when I walked in was noticed that they had no primary keys visible to anyone in the business (ie. No Account Key, No Opportunity key) they were doing everything in spreadsheets and if two accounts had the same name, or two opportunities they manually changed it in a spreadsheet. The ****wit who threw her toys out was responsible for that.

It's my data now.

[d000hg]

You've been hanging around here all day to put the boot in on someone havent you.

It's either CUK or the model trainset now he's retired.

[Pondlife]

My reason for going is that I'm a contractor. It's their (the business') data and therefore they should sign off that it's correct, not someone who is an external supplier.

[original PM]

What would they test?

Lets say you have 1000 accounts in a salesforce system and you want to change the rep from A to B.

SNip etc etc etc

Half don't even know what it is. If a database went down every time someone looked at the ******* thing nothing would work.

I feel you pain dude!

Some people seem to think db's exist to give them something to obsess over not to provide a service to the damn business

[sasguru]

You've been hanging around here all day to put the boot in on someone havent you.

No, you don't have to hang around.
Just pop in and some cretinous gimp will pop up over the parapet in no time.

[MarillionFan]

And while I'm

Do you know the other thing I ******* hate. Every contract I go to, some Administrator or some DBA gets all uppity the second you want a database connection so you can return run some simple reports using a BI tool, or christ you may want to start building a datawarehouse. The number of twats who think that connecting via an ODBC connection will lock the database and take the application down if you run a query truely beggars belief. Half don't even know what it is. If a database went down every time someone looked at the ******* thing nothing would work.

[MarillionFan]

No, I did that as well.

What happened to running this past the testers MF?

What would they test?

Lets say you have 1000 accounts in a salesforce system and you want to change the rep from A to B.

Lets say you build the Account List Primary Key, The Rep Key Before, The Rep Key after.
Lets say you run it through the reporting instance to check
Lets say that as the BI Manager you confirm it's correct.
Lets say you then ask the Administrator to do it ( a simple data change).

Why would you then test it in Dev, then test it in Test where the data doesnt exist, so it's uncheckable, then ask the business to sign it off in dev, then ask the business to sign it off in test, before agreeing a go and no go & getting someone to run it in Production.

IT people get really confused between simple data updates & development change control processes. It's the equivalent of doing an update sql statement. You build the select from to check it, you run it once against a copy of the data, you take a copy of the rows you're planning to change(just in case), then check it worked. You don't have 200 million ******* people checking it, doing 'stories', writing BRDS, discussing it for weeks, test plans etc. It's Business Intelligence not ******* some major ******* deployment for NASA.

IT Developers don't have a ******* clue about data let alone some bint in a back office.

[bless 'em all]

Is it just me that read this and went

No, I did that as well.

What happened to running this past the testers MF?