Reply to: Lion in Essex

[BrilloPad]

Police get the first photo: Twitter / ThePoke: Essex Police issue first picture ...

How did that lion get hold of your wig?

[cojak]

Police get the first photo: http://t.co/Rc6qMFJ9

[Gentile]

I wonder if the police have thought of using the Schrödinger method to catch it? That's where you put a large crate in the middle of a field in Essex, and never look inside again.

[EternalOptimist]

Do you really want to see if I run out of lion jokes before you run out of '' smileys?

ok. a joke contest.

you will be sorry.

This lion gets his dinner nicked by a tiger. He's whinging by the water hole and this big hyena says, 'I hate that tiger. why dont we jump him together ? we'll kill him'

so they lay an ambush.

The hyena jumps out, and the tiger batters him. eats one of his legs and ears. The lion does nothing and sneaks away half way through the fight.

next day, the lion turns up at the waterhole, and walks over to the half eaten hyena

'Oh, here he comes. King of the fckng jungle my @rse. where were YOU yesterday?'

'well, you were laughing so much, I thought you were winning'

[Gentile]

Do you really want to see if I run out of lion jokes before you run out of '' smileys?

[EternalOptimist]

I tell the bad jokes when I've been drinking.

Some people get violent when they're tipsy, others emotional. I tell crap jokes.

Speaking of which,

Q. Why did the lion lose at poker?

A. He was playing with cheetahs.

____________

[Gentile]

Listen darlin

I tell the bad jokes around here

I tell the bad jokes when I've been drinking.

Some people get violent when they're tipsy, others emotional. I tell crap jokes.

Speaking of which,

Q. Why did the lion lose at poker?

A. He was playing with cheetahs.

____________

[EternalOptimist]

Q. Why don't lion's like fast food?

A. Because they can't catch it.







....and, em, that's why they don't like it you see. Because it's too fast, etc.

_________

Listen darlin

I tell the bad jokes around here

[Gentile]

Q. Why don't lion's like fast food?

A. Because they can't catch it.







....and, em, that's why they don't like it you see. Because it's too fast, etc.

_________

[KentPhilip]

These jokes about the Essex Lion are inappropriate. Lions are dangerous. At least no one's hurt, that's the mane thing..

[EternalOptimist]

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
you were born with the lions
and you roar like one too



raarrr

[BrilloPad]

raarr

Was that a mouse squeak?

Did you mean RRRRROOOOAAAAARRRRRRR

[EternalOptimist]

Shut it, you. Or I'll get EO2 to have a word with you.

raarr

[Gentile]

Shut it, you. Or I'll get EO2 to have a word with you.

[EternalOptimist]

Someone said they'd photographed it, but it turned out they were just lion.