Clients from hell - a little Humour

[oscarose]

Thanks for the link

[Sysman]

I like the Christian organisation's SEO strategy: "We’re praying for Google, that it may make good honest choices and see the eternal light of our website."

LOL. They probably have shares in 'em too

[NickFitz]

I like the Christian organisation's SEO strategy: "We’re praying for Google, that it may make good honest choices and see the eternal light of our website."

[Sysman]

This one is pure class:

August 10, 2011

A client was upset that the animated .gifs from his site weren’t animated when printed out. I tried to explain that it simply wasn’t possible.

Client: Why are you lying to me? I know it’s possible - have you not seen the moving posters and pictures in Harry Potter!?

and who hasn't had a client like this one?

ovember 26, 2009
Don’t Work With Senior Citizens

While creating some mock-ups for a product catalog, I had used the same picture of a product several times throughout the layouts (since it was the only picture they had given me so far.)

(Old) Client: It looks alright, but those pictures are all the same.

Me: Yes, they’re there purely as a visual placeholder to help give you an idea of what it will look like. When I get the rest of the files from you, all the other products will be put in the catalog instead of this same photo.

Client: I don’t think you know what you’re doing. If I was a customer and I saw a catalog full of the same thing, I’d think “Wow, I wish they sold something else!” You need to change that.

Me: I will as soon as I get more pictures from you. This is just a mock-up, to give you a general idea of what your catalog will look like. When I get them, there will be different pictures of all your products in here.

Client: Well why haven’t you done that yet?

And in the end, the few pictures he did give me were for some reason saved in one of the earliest versions of Excel. So, you know, that was helpful.

[Scoobos]

wow new to me, love it and bookmarked it - reminds me a bit of Chronicles of George back in my helpdesk days.

[wim121]

One of my favourite sites.

+1

I love some of the stories on there, so funny. I can empathise with quite a few.

[DodgyAgent]

This made I larf

"After sending two invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when the receipt that they had received it came back.

CLIENT: Why are you calling me?

ME: You haven’t paid and this is the third invoice I’ve sent.

CLIENT: It’s even more than the last one!

ME: Yes. The contract you signed stated that I would add a late fee for payment.

CLIENT: You mean I have to actually pay you? I thought you were joking!

ME: What on earth made you think that?

CLIENT: You’re a freeloader!

ME: And…

CLIENT: Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!"

Hmmmmmm!

FTFY

sorry I couldnt resist

[d000hg]

One of my favourite sites.

[MarillionFan]

Are you on drugs?

WHS.

Have you been drinking when taking medication?

[SupremeSpod]

Are you on drugs?

[norrahe]

This made I larf

"After sending two invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when the receipt that they had received it came back.

CLIENT: Why are you calling me?

ME: You haven’t paid and this is the third invoice I’ve sent.

CLIENT: It’s even more than the last one!

ME: Yes. The contract you signed stated that I would add a late fee for payment.

CLIENT: You mean I have to actually pay you? I thought you were joking!

ME: What on earth made you think that?

CLIENT: You’re a freelancer!

ME: And…

CLIENT: Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!"

Hmmmmmm!