Reply to: Don't sweat the small stuff

[Freamon]

"The rescue team were unable to reach our vessel as the TNSnames had not been configured correctly."

<chortle>

[eek]

Having to can at least one of their projects to reduce costs, my project which involved clip art and jigsaw pieces was shelved saving the government £14.5m.

FTFY just in case it was a public sector project.

[minestrone]

Of course there is my abilty as a time served butcher to consider, probably best for you suity that you give your rations to me in a dash for help than hold me in the jungle with the group waiting for hunger to override humanity.

[suityou01]

The programme manager lost all faith in me once my lack of education shone through when I uttered fourth the phrase "For all intense purposes" in one of my weeky status reports. Having to can at least one of their projects to satisfy the stakeholders, my project which involved clip art and jigsaw pieces was shelved saving the company £14.50.

I am now busking outside Farnborough East, which I call "The office".

[MarillionFan]

backpfeifengesicht

"I muttered something unintelligible as I bobbed up and down in the water. The raft & team where now out of site & I became more feverish. I knew that last pint was a badun. I started to become delirious. I dreamt that Tottenham where no longer 3rd in the league & a new fawning lickspittle bedwetter had taken my place on ContractorUK. I could feel my life ebbing away. A warm feeling came through in my groin again and a feeling of trapped wind, I tried to push it out & tulip myself. It was then that I awoke from my dream and realised that I was still at my desk in the office, the stench was awful. I looked up and the offshore team was visiting, Bob shook his head in disgust while Bobina sobbed. Time to find another contract methinks"

[suityou01]

"I was forced to consult the ship's doctor, he provided me with a doctor's note for stress & told me to take a lie down. I cycled to the other end of the raft before knocking up some homebrew of seaweed and bilge water. One of the BA's started to get a bit over friendly, banging on about 1992. I said I wasn't that old and when pressed I wet myself. The systems analyst threw me overboard"

backpfeifengesicht

[mudskipper]

"I was forced to consult the ship's doctor, he provided me with a doctor's note for stress & told me to take a lie down. I cycled to the other end of the raft before knocking up some homebrew of seaweed and bilge water. One of the BA's started to get a bit over friendly, banging on about 1992. I said I wasn't that old and when pressed I wet myself. The systems analyst threw me overboard"

Then Richard Parker killed the hyena before getting a bit seasick.

[MarillionFan]

"The rescue team were unable to reach our vessel as the TNSnames had not been configured correctly."

"I was forced to consult the ship's doctor, he provided me with a doctor's note for stress & told me to take a lie down. I cycled to the other end of the raft before knocking up some homebrew of seaweed and bilge water. One of the BA's started to get a bit over friendly, banging on about 1992. I said I wasn't that old and when pressed I wet myself. The systems analyst threw me overboard"

[mudskipper]

"I was immediately forced to suggest descoping the rescue mission. The team had commended me on my documentation but on receipt the rescue ship the HMS Bob was unable to find our location due to some dodgy PL SQL GPS queries I had provided"

"The rescue team were unable to reach our vessel as the TNSnames had not been configured correctly."

[MarillionFan]

"On the raft, the situation deteriorated rapidly. Among the provisions were casks of wine instead of water. Fights broke out between the developers and BAs on one hand, and the testers and front line support on the other. "

"I was immediately forced to suggest descoping the rescue mission. The team had commended me on my documentation but on receipt the rescue ship the HMS Bob was unable to find our location due to some dodgy PL SQL GPS queries I had provided"

[mudskipper]

A++

Actually you were close.

The raft.

I have to offer it to the other side

Yep, but I didn't google.

[minestrone]

"On the raft, the situation deteriorated rapidly. Among the provisions were casks of wine instead of water. Fights broke out between the developers and BAs on one hand, and the testers and front line support on the other. "

[mudskipper]

A++

I think MF's answer deserves some credit too.

[minestrone]

Bzzzz

Wreck of the Medusa - Gericault

A++

Actually you were close.

The raft.

I have to offer it to the other side

[MarillionFan]

Bzzzz

Wreck of the Medusa - Gericault

Bzzzz.

My first day as Captain of the Titanic - Suityou