Nice excuse

[Old Greg]

How about playing an imaginary french horn.

"I was only playing with my horn"

Maybe he was simply doing the hand jive to a one stick drum solo?

[wim121]

Before Melvyn Webb was acquitted, the judge in his trial had informed the jury that men do sometimes innocently ‘fiddle with themselves in public

Indeed, what bloke doesn't, unless they have a small package?

I have to re-arrange a lot whether in public or not, but most of us can do it discreetly.

[KentPhilip]

He claims he was playing an imaginary banjo. I was going to add to that then I remembered that Cojak plays the Uke...

How about playing an imaginary french horn.

"I was only playing with my horn"

[Arturo Bassick]

It pays to tell the truth, nobody will believe you. Urban Dictionary: one string banjo

[hyperD]

When prosecutor Jane Davies asked: ‘Is this an activity you do regularly in the morning, this strumming on your banjo?’, Mr Webb replied: ‘I do it sub-consciously, but yes.’

and

‘I’m bewildered it got this far. It’s been a big strain.’

doubles entendres all round...

[TimberWolf]

So what's the CUK verdict? Judging by the court judgement, he wasn't guilty, which isn't necessarily innocent.

[Spacecadet]

Does she play it in public?

Only to paying guests

[BrilloPad]

He claims he was playing an imaginary banjo. I was going to add to that then I remembered that Cojak plays the Uke...

Does she play it in public?

[NotAllThere]

He claims he was playing an imaginary banjo. I was going to add to that then I remembered that Cojak plays the Uke...

[doodab]

Speaking at the home he shares with his wife in Basingstoke, Hampshire, Mr Webb said: ‘I feel very, very angry about all this. It’s cost me a lot of money, eight days off work and a job

Which begs the question, who is it?

[vetran]

Nice excuse

Man accused of sex act on train walks free from court after judge says 'men do fiddle with themselves in public' | Mail Online