Reply to: Embarassing disposal

[Doggy Styles]

Be kind to your web-footed friends.

Blood comes in more temperatures than just warm.

[Churchill]

You have used that quote at least 3 times since women were allowed to join this forum. Try and think of something original next time.

Ftfy

[NotAllThere]

Dont you ever rotate the mattress?

Mrs BP always sleeps with a blob towel at the appropriate time....

Should be forced to wear a t-shirt as a warning.



Not as embarrassing as when the kids decided they needed to take photos of a tree (school project) from my bedroom, and the, er, damp patch on my wife's side of the bed was still a little damp

"What's that?" asks my daughter, having put her hand on it.

"Mummy spilt her tea, go wash your hands".

(Actually, that story might be good for the father of the bride's speech ).

[d000hg]

Where I live the council will take a large item away for free. Just call them, leave it out after dark, and its gone by 7am the next morning. I think there's a two free removals a year limit. Don't know if other areas have a similar service.

I know we used to - when doing up the house it was a huge help.

[SimonMac]

Take an Eartha Kitt on the other side of the mattress and no one will notice the blob stain

[Freamon]

Decorating the bedroom and replacing the double bed. Broken the bed up for firewood but will have to take the mattress to the dump and it is somewhat stained. I blame the missus mainly as the really obvious stain, from the colour and position, is a woman's stain my lord.

If I was married to Tracy Emin I would probably be able to sell it for £300k but I am not unfortunately. How would the brilliant CUKers cope with disposing of this mattress without embarassment?

Just get someone* with a much higher embarrassment threshold to do it for you.

* i.e. Wilmslow.

[BrilloPad]

You have used that quote at least 3 times since I've been a member of this forum. Try and think of something original next time.

If you want originality then CUK will die.

[Doggy Styles]

Did you here the joke about the internet pedant?

Made me LOL

So there you are. At least one person on here hasn't heard all of your jokes several times.

[mudskipper]

Did you here the joke about the internet pedant?

hear

(yep, I know you set that up)

[MarillionFan]

1.. 2... 3...

Did you here the joke about the internet pedant?

[mudskipper]

It's the only one I've got.

1.. 2... 3...

[MarillionFan]

Right then...

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

[MarillionFan]

You have used that quote at least 3 times since I've been a member of this forum. Try and think of something original next time.

It's the only one I've got.

[mudskipper]

Frankly you can't trust any animal that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.

You have used that quote at least 3 times since I've been a member of this forum. Try and think of something original next time.

[MarillionFan]

52% of the population menstruate. Most at some point have 'leaked'. Just bung it on the roof rack and take it to the tip. Or invent some story about sacrificing a pig if you really are embarrassed.

Frankly you can't trust any animal that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.