Reply to: My Pet Hate

[BrilloPad]

my pet hate is when Mrs BP does not keep my socks in their proper pairs.

[jmo21]

Ive had this a number of times from Vodafone, blocked number,

Them: is tht Mr Jmo21?

Me: yes

Them: I'm calling from Vodafone can I just ask you some security details? (I am with V)

Me: what do you want?

Them: I need to ask you security details first

Me: is this a sales call?

Them: Sir, I need to ask you security details first

Me: is this a sales call?

Them: well there will be an element of sales yes

Me: I'm not interested, goodbye

[OwlHoot]

That's why I ditched my old ISP. I found that whenever you rang their helpline, you were kept listening to Vivaldi for exactly five and a half minutes before you were put through to anyone. It wasn't a queue at all - they were just deliberately ramping your phone bill on a timer.

Which ISP was that?

Could their name sound like a red devil with a forked tail, and a synonym for "therefore".

[Freamon]

Now that's a plan B idea.

Offer a premium rate service which receives calls auto-redirected from less obvious non-premium rate numbers. Have the service use AtW's Fembots that give out their seductive patter to keep the caller on the line. Take a cut of the profit and pass the rest onto whoever set up the redirect to your premium number.

Not only could you make money from all the cold callers, you'd get some sad lonely IT contractors calling up just to talk to a friendly 'female' voice.

I don't think it's possible to be "redirected" to a more expensive number is it? The person doing the redirecting would be paying for the call to the premium number. Anyway, sounds quite illegal:

Watchdog hits 070 swindlers with big fine ? The Register

[KimberleyChris]

Now that's a plan B idea.

Yeah, I'm full of these great ideas, but I always have them second, not first.

We could keep them listening to bl**din' Vivaldi for a while too.

That's why I ditched my old ISP. I found that whenever you rang their helpline, you were kept listening to Vivaldi for exactly five and a half minutes before you were put through to anyone. It wasn't a queue at all - they were just deliberately ramping your phone bill on a timer.

[PAH]

What I really want is my own premium-rate phone line, then I can just sit there every evening talking to virus software scammers and accident / telesales numpties for hours at £1/minute.

Now that's a plan B idea.

Offer a premium rate service which receives calls auto-redirected from less obvious non-premium rate numbers. Have the service use AtW's Fembots that give out their seductive patter to keep the caller on the line. Take a cut of the profit and pass the rest onto whoever set up the redirect to your premium number.

Not only could you make money from all the cold callers, you'd get some sad lonely IT contractors calling up just to talk to a friendly 'female' voice.

[KimberleyChris]

"I just interrupted and told him to f*** off.

That was the cleverest response I could think of at the time".

Well, I've been thinking for a while, and I still can't think of a better one.

What I really want is my own premium-rate phone line, then I can just sit there every evening talking to virus software scammers and accident / telesales numpties for hours at £1/minute.

[PAH]

f*** off.

If I had a phone plugged into my landline* I'd have it go straight to answerphone and have that as the message, followed by the sound of slamming the phone down.

* I only use it for broadband. Use mobile phone for T calls so can ignore withheld numbers easily, and important callers leave voice mail anyway.

[Doggy Styles]

I received such a call only yesterday. A delay, a click or two, then a Bob came on and mentioned my Windows PC. I just interrupted and told him to f*** off.

That was the cleverest response I could think of at the time.

[MarillionFan]

Had that a few weeks back as well. Exactly the same conversation. I got the company though which was Tesco and phoned back.

I got immediaty routed to the fraud department where it turned out I'd lost my credit
card and it had been handed in.

[PAH]

Those phone calls from Asian call centres.

(phone rings)
Me: "Hello?"
Her: (after 2 seconds delay hang up)

Ha ha ha!

The 10 seconds you're fannying about is while their automated spam calling system tries to put you through to an operator.

You're right about the rest, not giving out personal details to those that call you, they could be anyone.

If I genuinely think it's my bank or someone I do want to deal with offering me something I say put it in writing (they'll already have my address ). They never do so sod them.

[xoggoth]

You can claim as can half the pakistani's down the local taxi firm!

Oddly enough, they keep mentioning your name!

[OwlHoot]

... I am wondering if I can claim for whiplash even though I wasn't in it at the time. Wouldn't surprise me.

If you heard the van crash but were looking the other way, perhaps you could claim for whiplash suffered while turning round suddenly to see what had happened.

[Churchill]

Not Indians, but I am suddenly being bombarded with personal injury calls about the accident involving my van a year ago.I am wondering if I can claim for whiplash even though I wasn't in it at the time. Wouldn't surprise me.

You can claim as can half the pakistani's down the local taxi firm!

Allegedly...

[xoggoth]

Not Indians, but I am suddenly being bombarded with personal injury calls about the accident involving my van a year ago. I am wondering if I can claim for whiplash even though I wasn't in it at the time. Wouldn't surprise me.