Reply to: Software Development Lifecycle

[TheFaQQer]

This is Bob speak for "which cretin designed this tulip?"

FTFY

[alreadypacked]

Phew I'm glad it's not just me then.

This off shore team a just a bunch of recalcitrant retards.

Suity : So the stored procedures are 90% complete?
Offshore : Yes Suity

Offshore : Actually we have more concerns over the data model.

This is Bob speak for "We don't know what a data model is"

Project 1% complete. They may not even have the software installed to open your design.

HTH

[MarillionFan]

You've clearly never worked for a happy company with motivated people.

Of course I have. It's when they work for me.

Basically though IT people are slightly smarter than normal but still need as much management and help as labourers on a building site. That's why they get outsourced.

[doodab]

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

It's interesting. I'm not really used to working in 'IT' as such. For years I have always sat on the outside of IT departments bought in by the business as 'shadow IT' because these feckers can't deliver. Now I'm sat on the other side of the fence. I engage directly with internal clients and I have control over the projects I deliver, but not always the resource. As soon as it goes to a shared resource model it doesn't work.

There is something intrinsically f**ked with social makeup of people who work in IT that makes them hide behind emails & computers and just don't do the job. And that's why they get outsourced, because they are ******* hopeless at communicating or managing themselves. Hence go with the cheapest.

You've clearly never worked for a happy company with motivated people.

[Freamon]

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

This'll be why the PM says the ticket is "with you" then. You should have been clearer when you corrected him.

[TestMangler]

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

It's interesting. I'm not really used to working in 'IT' as such. For years I have always sat on the outside of IT departments bought in by the business as 'shadow IT' because these feckers can't deliver. Now I'm sat on the other side of the fence. I engage directly with internal clients and I have control over the projects I deliver, but not always the resource. As soon as it goes to a shared resource model it doesn't work.

There is something intrinsically f**ked with social makeup of people who work in IT that makes them hide behind emails & computers and just don't do the job. And that's why they get outsourced, because they are ******* hopeless at communicating or managing themselves. Hence go with the cheapest.

I have jumped out of Test Management now because I couldn't stand working with remote or outsourced teams. I never did traditional 'management' stuff with presentations and bulltulip. I could usually be found prowling the office with a phone in one hand and a pack of fags in the other

It's a lot harder to duck responsibility and play 'asignee tennis' in QC when you've got some mad nicotine deprived jock sitting on your desk

Resources should be within grabbing distance

[MarillionFan]

The defect is with you, the developer says he's fixed it.

Is the grenade not in your hand for retest ?

If not, that's what the quote makes it look like

No, the JIRA says 'Failed' and is assigned to the developer, but as BA I hold the JIRA.

It's interesting. I'm not really used to working in 'IT' as such. For years I have always sat on the outside of IT departments bought in by the business as 'shadow IT' because these feckers can't deliver. Now I'm sat on the other side of the fence. I engage directly with internal clients and I have control over the projects I deliver, but not always the resource. As soon as it goes to a shared resource model it doesn't work.

There is something intrinsically f**ked with social makeup of people who work in IT that makes them hide behind emails & computers and just don't do the job. And that's why they get outsourced, because they are ******* hopeless at communicating or managing themselves. Hence go with the cheapest.

[TestMangler]

???

I'm the tester. Not the developer.

The defect is with you, the developer says he's fixed it.

Is the grenade not in your hand for retest ?

If not, that's what the quote makes it look like

[russell]

Suity you must be an expert in waterfall, especially when the water is piss falling below you?

[MarillionFan]

Problems highlighted above.

???

I'm the tester. Not the developer.

[Freamon]

PM - Let's review JIRA 369. MF this is with you.

MF - I failed it last week and the developer says that it is no longer on his priority list as he says he's done the fix. Of course it's a five minute change and of course if the same issue happens again in production the whole datawarehouse load will fail and we're fecked.

Developer - What are my prioritites please?

FFS!!!!

Problems highlighted above.

[PAH]

"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's a waterfall" - The Outsourced Josie Whale

"What we've got here is a perpetual waterfall" - Cool Hand Bob


Some remakes are worth watching.

[Mich the Tester]

I just keep billing.

whs

[NotAllThere]

I can't understand why an application that'll only be used at year-end must be "live" by July, so that the first time it's used with real data from real users, there will be no IT people on site. Nor why the output documents must be ready for testing by December, when testing them isn't scheduled until March.

But I just keep billing.

[d000hg]

Try operating an agile approach over a crackly telephone call with an off shore team with pidgin English.

Sometimes waterfall is the only way.

Strict waterfall is crap. I don't much care for strict, dogmatic Agile either. The general principle of Waterfall is OK as long as you remember it is an ideal, not 100% workable in reality. i.e. fixed specs for you offshore team to work to, less rigid in other areas such as feeding user testing back into development (aka a beta )