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Previously on "My cat died this morning"

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  • SimonMac
    replied
    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
    They could use a brain like yours at CERN.
    Would you trust him to make tea though?

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Ah.

    Schrodinger's cat.

    Some bastard opened the box, didn't they?


    died whilst being neuterinoed probbly

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by Churchill View Post
    Why, do they need any holes digging?
    They've got a cat which they're not sure needs burying. Smells a bit now.

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
    They could use a brain like yours at CERN.
    Why, do they need any holes digging?

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Cats never look at their best when they are dead do they?
    They could use a brain like yours at CERN.

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Good to see plenty of cretins on Money Saving Expert too.

    How deep to bury a cat? 6 foot deep comes the answer.

    Trouble is, if I dig a hole 6 foot deep, how the fook will I get out of the hole?
    By filling in the hole slowly, rather than all at once? I was impressed by that depth too. Foxes again apparently.

    Also with the recommendations on the other site: Never bury a living cat.

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Good to see plenty of cretins on Money Saving Expert too.

    How deep to bury a cat? 6 foot deep comes the answer.

    Trouble is, if I dig a hole 6 foot deep, how the fook will I get out of the hole?
    That's a bonus for us, you short arse!

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    How to Bury a Cat - wikiHow
    How deep do you bury a cat? - MoneySavingExpert.com Forums

    (Be sure to get your neighbour's permission if you bury her in her favourite pooping ground, or wait until the neighbour is asleep and then jump over the fence)
    Good to see plenty of cretins on Money Saving Expert too.

    How deep to bury a cat? 6 foot deep comes the answer.

    Trouble is, if I dig a hole 6 foot deep, how the fook will I get out of the hole?

    Leave a comment:


  • norrahe
    replied
    I never thought I do this but ( )

    btw the vet will charge you about 70 odd quid to "dispose" of the animal.

    If you do bury and there are other cats in the neighbourhood then bury it deep, as the other cats will just dig it up.

    Leave a comment:


  • Spacecadet
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    (Be sure to get your neighbour's permission if you bury her in her favourite pooping ground, or wait until the neighbour is asleep and then jump over the fence)
    Why would you want to bury the cat in its favourite pooping ground? It'll be full of poop!

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Sorry for your loss DP, thought this might cheer you up . . .

    Burying The Cat
    From: Monty Python's Flying Circus

    Mrs. Conclusion (Chapman): Hello, Mrs. Premise.

    Mrs. Premise (Cleese): Hello, Mrs. Conclusion.

    Conclusion: Busy Day?

    Premise: Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.

    Conclusion: Four hours to bury a cat?

    Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.

    Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead, then?

    Premise: No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side.

    Conclusion: Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I say. We're going to have to have our budgie put down.

    Premise: Really - is it very old?

    Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.

    Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then?

    Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.

    Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.

    Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They breed in the sewers!

    Leave a comment:


  • SimonMac
    replied
    Originally posted by amcdonald View Post
    One of our cats had a genetic defect, it's ok but one of it's kittens always has trouble breathing as soon as it weans off cat food and dies

    Every one is bagged up and lobbed them in the bin, the same with any chickens that die

    It saves a fortune
    Originally posted by DodgyAgent View Post
    Is your real name "Auld McDonald" ?
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    How to Bury a Cat - wikiHow
    How deep do you bury a cat? - MoneySavingExpert.com Forums

    (Be sure to get your neighbour's permission if you bury her in her favourite pooping ground, or wait until the neighbour is asleep and then jump over the fence)

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladuk
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    Bury it in the garden and plant a rose bush on it. The rose bush will thrive and when it blooms it will be a scented reminder of your beloved pet





    That's the nicest thing I have seen you put and almost brought a tear to my eye. Have you been hacked?

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    May I recommend...

    101 Uses for a Dead Cat: Amazon.co.uk: Simon Bond: Books

    Leave a comment:

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