Reply to: For when you're on the bench. ;)

[xoggoth]

Magic mushrooms look much easier and more economic:

Growing magic mushrooms on Drugs-plaza

[Alf W]

The bin men could snitch you up as well when they notice your wheelie bin is half full of jaffa cake wrappers.

[Freamon]

According to this handy online calculator, a 12 foot by 8 foot room will need about 4800 watts of lighting for optimal growing conditions.

The gas discharge lamps that site seems to recommend are around 15% efficient, so the energy wasted generating heat will be around 4000 watts. That's about the same as keeping granny warm with a four-bar electric fire, so nowhere near enough to attract the attention of a thermal imaging helicopter in a respectable residential area.

Sounds like you've done a lot of research and covered all your bases.

[Sysman]

According to this handy online calculator, a 12 foot by 8 foot room will need about 4800 watts of lighting for optimal growing conditions.

The gas discharge lamps that site seems to recommend are around 15% efficient, so the energy wasted generating heat will be around 4000 watts. That's about the same as keeping granny warm with a four-bar electric fire, so nowhere near enough to attract the attention of a thermal imaging helicopter in a respectable residential area.

A Dutch mate tells me they look at your leccy bills.

Or more often, your neighbours' leccy bills (cos lots of people steal it from neighbours).

Mind you, in the UK they've probably got the added problem of working out who your leccy supplier is and working out how much they are overcharging you.

[NickFitz]

Very interesting but how would you deal with the distinctive smell (hypothetically, of course )?

When my neighbours were growing plants in the ground floor rear, they tried a plug-in air freshener in the hall. All this meant was that as you came through the back door, the pungent aroma of skunk that filled the back yard became an even more pungent aroma of skunk with faint undertones of summer freshness

[NickFitz]

50 watts per square metre doesn't sound a great deal for fast growing plants.

I wouldn't have a clue myself, but given that the site with the calculator sells the lights it's unlikely their calculator is going to underestimate - unless they were stoned when they implemented it, which is a distinct possibility

[TimberWolf]

According to this handy online calculator, a 12 foot by 8 foot room will need about 4800 watts of lighting for optimal growing conditions.

The gas discharge lamps that site seems to recommend are around 15% efficient, so the energy wasted generating heat will be around 4000 watts. That's about the same as keeping granny warm with a four-bar electric fire, so nowhere near enough to attract the attention of a thermal imaging helicopter in a respectable residential area.

50 watts per square metre doesn't sound a great deal for fast growing plants. According to this source the UK receives about 4 kWh per square metre solar insolation a day, in summer. So about 150 watts/m^2 constantly over 24 hours, for comparison. So your 50 watts/m^2 (which I assume is on 24 hours a day) is a third that provided by a British summer sun. All things being equal (which they may not be).

But yes, if it is 4 kW I concede that might well sneak under the radar and keep the guy upstairs happy too.

[Spacecadet]

Very interesting but how would you deal with the distinctive smell (hypothetically, of course )?

By smoking copious numbers of joints in the back garden. Then the neighbours will just think you're a dope head

[Zippy]

Very interesting but how would you deal with the distinctive smell (hypothetically, of course )?

[Spacecadet]

Hmm. Don't approve of drugs but that article certainly makes one think that there is good money to be made illegally. Maybe I could start a whorehouse in my garden shed. I was going to make lots of bottles of xoggoth wine but the bloody birds ate all our grapes.

Don't let the council find out:
Havant Council bans NHS worker Victoria Campbell from living in her parents' shed | Mail Online

[NickFitz]

I wouldn't want to bet on it. How much heat are we speaking about here? I assume it's a fair wack above average the average household.

According to this handy online calculator, a 12 foot by 8 foot room will need about 4800 watts of lighting for optimal growing conditions.

The gas discharge lamps that site seems to recommend are around 15% efficient, so the energy wasted generating heat will be around 4000 watts. That's about the same as keeping granny warm with a four-bar electric fire, so nowhere near enough to attract the attention of a thermal imaging helicopter in a respectable residential area.

[TimberWolf]

Not if it's just one room. As the article says, the houses that are easy to spot using infra red cameras are those where the entire premises has been given over to growing.

I wouldn't want to bet on it. How much heat are we speaking about here? I assume it's a fair wack above average the average household.

[NickFitz]

Those houses must light up like candles in infra red. Easy meat surely.

Not if it's just one room. As the article says, the houses that are easy to spot using infra red cameras are those where the entire premises has been given over to growing.

[TimberWolf]

Those houses must light up like candles in infra red. Easy meat surely.

[xoggoth]

Hmm. Don't approve of drugs but that article certainly makes one think that there is good money to be made illegally. Maybe I could start a whorehouse in my garden shed. I was going to make lots of bottles of xoggoth wine but the bloody birds ate all our grapes.