God's Law?

[threaded]

I'm waiting for someone to post the goatse picture.

http://www.nata2.info/humor/pictures/1073629317423.jpg

[scotspine]

guys - you have the 'light relief' forum....

[Churchill]

Probabally the same day as the greek island of Lesbos, yes theres a whole island of them...

bet known of you (bar Xoggoth) knew that

none, and you're incorrect in your assumption.

AJP used to holiday there frequently and try his best to convert a few of the natives. In later years he just took pictures. That was of course until the Greek Vice Squad arrested him.

[xodia]

Just out of interest, on which day of the week did god create homosexuals and lesbians..?

Probabally the same day as the greek island of Lesbos, yes theres a whole island of them...

bet known of you (bar Xoggoth) knew that

[mcquiggd]

Just out of interest, on which day of the week did god create homosexuals and lesbians..?

My guess is lesbians were created on a monday (as they always look a bit miffed when I try to chat them up)... while gay guys are always dancing and singing... they have that 'friday feeling'...

Oh, and was god bored on the 7th day and created paedophiles In His Own Image...?

I think he'd be prime candidate for a nu labour peerage..... doesnt 'officially exist', is totally corrupt, and gets away with murder....

[Fungus]

Marvellous stuff. Makes a change from sanctimonious balls. Talking of which, ah yes, Chico has replied.

[xoggoth]

Since this lady was Jewish and they do believe in the truth of the old testament I'm not sure quite why Christianity or Chico were dragged into it at all.

But since they were, I declare Chico the winner!

PS With a RARE sensible post! CUK please keep this thread carefully in the CUK museum.

[Chico]

As any biblical scholar will tell you Jesus Christ fulfilled the law and as such all who believe in him are not bound by the law of Moses except The Ten Commandments which remain the minimum acceptable laws all believers of Jesus must adhere to; including the limiting of all sexual contact to marriage (man and woman). Also any historian or food scientist worth his salt would easily explain to why shellfish and pork etc were not a good idea for a migrating population moving through a desert all those thosand of years ago. The lack of knowledge of these basic facts amongst the posters here confirms one thing - intelligence can only come from the God. Anything is else folly.

[cojak]

President Bartlett (West Wing, series 2) made good use of one or 2 of these observations when berating a Fundamentalist bible-basher...

[MrsGoof]

[Mordac]

I got sent this via email. I know it belongs in LR, but I didn't want Chico to miss it.

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, and dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.

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Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is: my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

Homer Simpson-Caldwell