Reply to: How much rent should a teenager pay?

[BoredBloke]

What you could do is take the money you charge the teenager for rent and, without telling them, put it into a savings account. Then, when they leave, give it to them as a lump sum. They've learned the value of paying rent, and you've helped them a little bit when they move home. Win win IMO.

That's what we do. We take a third of my daughters earnings and then use it to pay for things that she needs but would ahve wasted had it been left in her account.

[pacharan]

I'm glad Im not the only one.

It sickens me that parents charge rent to children grown up or otherwise. They should be ashamed of such lowly disgusting behaviour to be quite frank.

Why did they even bother starting a family in the first place if they can't define it? One subject that deeply annoys me still, even though Im in my late twenties.

I was shocked when I first met the other half. She was at college full time and working one day a week. Her parents demanded all her money in rent, then said it still wasnt enough. A meagre days wages would have saved her walking so much.

I dont see how parents can be so callous ...










Through all of my parents faults, beatings and such aside, one thing they did was teach me about money, or rather, I taught myself.

I never got free pocket money, always had to do chores. After my 11th birthday the only way to get money after my father left for good, was to work. So since many employers wouldnt take on a child, I purchased garden tools and a wheelbarrow. In the weekends and holidays, I walked around for miles and got quite a bit of money out of it.

That money was my own, my pocket money. However whenever my mum needed the weekly shopping done, I would go and get it, paying for it myself. As I grew up and stayed at home as an old teenager, I would do so on a regular basis, do DIY, whatever else needed doing.

Even though I havent lived at home for years, close to a decade, I still give her a call before I pop round and let her know im going past the shops, grab her a few bits she may have forgotten.

In a way, I contributed more than if my mother asked me to pay £80p/w for example, but then she didnt need to.

The OP and others seem to missing the whole point in a family. Regardless of whether you are the child or parent in a family, it is each individuals responsibility to contribute to the family in whatever way they can. Financially, through chores or just basic consideration.

Make your children earn their pocket money, treat them with love and respect as a family member, then when they are older, they will see how much you struggle and do the shopping on their way home from work, or help around the house in whatever way they can. That is the whole point in families.

Sorry if my bluntness offended anyone, but quite frankly, Im not the only one offended by someone contemplating charging their children rent.

Also be advised that what you're doing is illegal in many parts of the world. I saw one televised court case in the US, where parents tried enforcing rent, then rules such as curfews on the elder child. The judge quite rightly said that if you are treating someone as a lodger, rather than a family member, you cant mandate on areas of their life.


So are your children common lodgers that may as well be strangers, or members of your family?

Agree. I was never asked to make a contribution as a child but I did do chores.

I got pocket money - just enough to buy some sweets and could occasionally blag a bit of cash out of the old man if I polished his Wartburg.

Don't have a problem with adults living with their folks making a contribution to their keep though.

[cailin maith]

No he wasn't. Not having my kids turn into spongers.

Sometimes if there's only one Haribo left, I let the kids fight over it,(it toughens them up for the playground) unless of course I want it, at which point they both lose(another lesson there - might is right).

In all honesty, I'd probably fight with my sister over the last Haribo... and probably my Dad too. For a diabetic, it's a wonder he doesn't spend most of his time in a sugar induced coma

[Zippy]

No he wasn't. Not having my kids turn into spongers.

Sometimes if there's only one Haribo left, I let the kids fight over it,(it toughens them up for the playground) unless of course I want it, at which point they both lose(another lesson there - might is right).

Are they old enough to go up chimneys yet? Remember that they have their own tax allowance .

Seriously, charging kids a nominal sum is a good idea. We didn't have a lot of cash when I was a teenager so I chipped in with shopping/the odd bill etc. Those of you who can afford to sub them should still charge them something (and stash the cash away for later)

[MarillionFan]

Oh well, each to their own!

I hope so, because that post did make me feel ill.

If you're going to hang around. Make sure you haven't eaten first.

[MarillionFan]

I think he was kidding.

No he wasn't. Not having my kids turn into spongers.

Sometimes if there's only one Haribo left, I let the kids fight over it,(it toughens them up for the playground) unless of course I want it, at which point they both lose(another lesson there - might is right).

[SizeZero]

You think I have issues? Did you fail to read the posts in this thread?

The OP suggests taking a 1/3 of a teenager’s meagre wages. £80 is only enough to cover bus/train fares, clothes and if anything is left over, some socialising. To then suggest taking money off this youth who is trying to find their feet is disgusting.

Well, Disgusted of Sussex, sadly I think you also failed spectacularly to grasp the concept of the thread. The OP wasn't suggesting taking 1/3 of his sons wage. He was asking what was considered 'normal', as he didn't want his ex-missus (not known for her compassionate nature, according to said OP) screwing his son over.

Don't worry - I'm sure the OP will accept an apology at your short sightedness and even shorter temper.

It's mutual family respect and by demanding rent off a family member, that child is forced to pay money, rather than contributing out of gratefulness and honouring their parents.

Ah, another one who doesn't have teenagers then....

[Sysman]

Tough love can go too far by the sounds of it Sysman.

It can indeed.

As a parent I reckon it's a hard balance between getting a work ethic and spoon feeding.

My mother was a grafter, my father died very early. She didn't have the money to save for us and when the opportunity to buy my first house came along she leant me £5k towards my £10k deposit. I paid her 6 back within the year.

I sometimes wonder whether saving up for the kids is a good idea. By the time they hit 18 both will have about 40k saved and I'm not sure if that's the right approach. Time will tell.

I chatted about this with a neighbour who was quite tidily off. He had 2 daughters: one academically gifted, the other really not good at skool. He bought them a small cottage apiece when prices were right so that they didn't have to go through the first time buyer's process of getting ripped off (and let the cottages out until the girls were old enough to use them). He reckoned that was giving them a decent leg up without spoling them.

His wife also started a riding school for the less gifted daughter. As it turned out, she ended up running her father's business as well. She was one of those people who despite doing badly at skool could really apply herself to a job in the commercial world.

Neither were spoilt by too much money. Both turned out quite well.

[wim121]

You're new here, aren't you?

You'll get used to it.

Lol thanks ...

I just don't see the need for personal attacks or messages such as someone using a childish insult of t*ssp*t in reputation feedbacks.

Oh well, each to their own!

I think he was kidding.

I hope so, because that post did make me feel ill.

Although I wouldnt be surprised if it wasn't, no offense to the poster. Just I hear outrageous things from parents a lot. A relatives co-worker announced the other day, he was delighted at getting child allowance back, then proceeded to go online to spend it on beer brewing kits.

Glad to see our tax money is going to such good use

[doodab]

I think he was kidding.

I'm not so sure.

[cailin maith]

I didn’t even respond to post #4, because quite frankly, I wouldn’t be able to ask, without causing offence, how a parent can take money from a baby that doesn’t even understand the concept of money or even say the word?

I think he was kidding.

[Churchill]

You think I have issues? Did you fail to read the posts in this thread?

The OP suggests taking a 1/3 of a teenager’s meagre wages. £80 is only enough to cover bus/train fares, clothes and if anything is left over, some socialising. To then suggest taking money off this youth who is trying to find their feet is disgusting.


I was just explaining in my post, how you can instil financial common sense and a sense of reciprocation in a child without taking their hard earned money away by force. It isn’t rocket science. It's mutual family respect and by demanding rent off a family member, that child is forced to pay money, rather than contributing out of gratefulness and honouring their parents.





Also I did try to keep my post on the issue of charging a teenager rent, rather than resorting to a petty personal attack like you did. Can’t you grow up and just discuss the subject of the thread like everyone else is? I would suggest you are the one with issues if you think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. Since when is supporting theft or holding a family member to ransom a sign of someone without issues?

I didn’t even respond to post #4, because quite frankly, I wouldn’t be able to ask, without causing offence, how a parent can take money from a baby that doesn’t even understand the concept of money or even say the word?

You're new here, aren't you?

You'll get used to it.

[wim121]

You have issues matey!

Suggesting that once your children become working adults, they get a flavour of paying their own way in life, is anything but "callous".
In future, I'd advise not posting quite so close to "Last Orders".

HTH

You think I have issues? Did you fail to read the posts in this thread?

The OP suggests taking a 1/3 of a teenager’s meagre wages. £80 is only enough to cover bus/train fares, clothes and if anything is left over, some socialising. To then suggest taking money off this youth who is trying to find their feet is disgusting.


I was just explaining in my post, how you can instil financial common sense and a sense of reciprocation in a child without taking their hard earned money away by force. It isn’t rocket science. It's mutual family respect and by demanding rent off a family member, that child is forced to pay money, rather than contributing out of gratefulness and honouring their parents.





Also I did try to keep my post on the issue of charging a teenager rent, rather than resorting to a petty personal attack like you did. Can’t you grow up and just discuss the subject of the thread like everyone else is? I would suggest you are the one with issues if you think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. Since when is supporting theft or holding a family member to ransom a sign of someone without issues?

I didn’t even respond to post #4, because quite frankly, I wouldn’t be able to ask, without causing offence, how a parent can take money from a baby that doesn’t even understand the concept of money or even say the word?

[zamzummim]

Sometimes pushing your kids out of their comfort zone is the best thing for them, I remember when my brother was still living at home while he was earning good money (in IT) he was pushed to move out and get his own place, that was the early nineties, he managed to get a good mortgage and buy himself a small modest flat, no idea why because he could have afforded a good 2/3 bed house, it was early nineties and property prices were quite low, within a few years his property price increased from £45K to £120K, he managed to pay the original mortgage easily and had a decent amount of money when he decided to get married … so pushing him out was good for him financially.

[cailin maith]

However one of my brother's looked after me, cleaned up after himself, did household chores, worked full-time (in a low paid job), didn't run up the phone bill and gave my mother money.

Though my mother still got pissed off with him living at home in his late 20s and made him move out when I was old enough to look after myself.

I'm not sure I see your point? Clearly your situation is totally different from mine.