Reply to: When I am the Thatcher/Gaddafi/Saddam of the UK

[alreadypacked]

and then, after you have got it to recognise your "16 digit card number" reads the while bloody thing back to you at a snails pace then asks you to say Yes or No to confirm the number, and promptly screws up the voice recognigion and makes you start all over again. MBNA, I'm looking at you.

I spotted your problem, get rid quick, no good will come of it.

[Mich the Tester]

Excellent smiley. Admin, please do the needful!

[2BIT]

Come to think of it -

Companies with useless "password reset lines" - first I get very a long recorded message telling me I can reset online if I have an egg card - which I know because it's on the website where I just came from.
Then a warning I can only use this number to reset my password and a different number to call for anything not involving resetting a password.

Then a recording asking me to state what my enquiry is for voice reconition and giving a load of examples like "I want to change my direct debit" - why? (TF) you just told me (at considerable length) that I can only do one thing!

Then the stuff about resetting online if I have a card again - before I can actually get through to someone who refuses to reset the password and says I have to do it by post.

yeah its even worse when the website force you to use identifiers which are uncommon to every other site

please enter an internet id (can't i use my email address or account number then? - no)
please enter a five digit pin (really? can't I use my 18 character password I normally use - ill be able to remember it and it will be more secure)
please enter a memorable word (what not an answer to a question?)

'your account is locked please call xxx to unlock'

call xxx, for all enquires regarding accessing your online account please go to http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/general/www....

[gingerjedi]

Any company with a mission statement should be shot as well

"The greatest danger for all of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." Michelangelo.

Edit: looks like I'm aimimg too high.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Come to think of it -

Companies with useless "password reset lines" - first I get very a long recorded message telling me I can reset online if I have an egg card - which I know because it's on the website where I just came from.
Then a warning I can only use this number to reset my password and a different number to call for anything not involving resetting a password.

Then a recording asking me to state what my enquiry is for voice reconition and giving a load of examples like "I want to change my direct debit" - why? (TF) you just told me (at considerable length) that I can only do one thing!

Then the stuff about resetting online if I have a card again - before I can actually get through to someone who refuses to reset the password and says I have to do it by post.

[2BIT]

Companies that don't answer the ******* phone but have a ******* message after a long ******* menu saying 'we are very busy, the waiting time is on average <in another voice> 20 <back to first voice> minutes, while cheerfully charging money for a service that doesn't ******* work, because otherwise I wouldn't be ******* phoning them and the ******* helpdesk line wouldn't be so ******* busy.

admin, we need a machine gun smiley

FFS

KPN comes to mind. ******* ****witted ****ers allowed my domainname to expire after I was ******* forced by another ******* useless corporation to move to them after they stopped hosting domains, even though ******* KPN expressly told me they would ensure my domain name registration was ******* well updated.

dear call centres I don't need to hear pan pipes or be told every ten seconds that I'm still on hold (which has the effect of making you think someone has answered) just give me a ringing phone sound, I can put my mobile on speaker and let it ring until it gets answered

one thing that seems to be true is if the menu options don't offer you the choice you need don't choose anything after some complaining the system normally puts you through to a human

[Mich the Tester]

ps, you might get the impression that I am somewhat annoyed about this.

Well then you're ******* right.

[Mich the Tester]

and then, after you have got it to recognise your "16 digit card number" reads the while bloody thing back to you at a snails pace then asks you to say Yes or No to confirm the number, and promptly screws up the voice recognigion and makes you start all over again. MBNA, I'm looking at you.

Companies that don't answer the ******* phone but have a ******* message after a long ******* menu saying 'we are very busy, the waiting time is on average <in another voice> 20 <back to first voice> minutes, while cheerfully charging money for a service that doesn't ******* work, because otherwise I wouldn't be ******* phoning them and the ******* helpdesk line wouldn't be so ******* busy.

admin, we need a machine gun smiley

FFS

KPN comes to mind. ******* ****witted ****ers allowed my domainname to expire after I was ******* forced by another ******* useless corporation to move to them after they stopped hosting domains, even though ******* KPN expressly told me they would ensure my domain name registration was ******* well updated.

[DaveB]

or companies that ask you to speak a number into a phone rather than type it in with that there handy number pad bundled free with every phone

and then, after you have got it to recognise your "16 digit card number" reads the while bloody thing back to you at a snails pace then asks you to say Yes or No to confirm the number, and promptly screws up the voice recognigion and makes you start all over again. MBNA, I'm looking at you.

[2BIT]

Could you also take into account companies who make their call centre staff ask your name (Mary), then say "is it Ok if I call you Mary today?"

or companies that ask you to speak a number into a phone rather than type it in with that there handy number pad bundled free with every phone

[Board Game Geek]

...having a word with company sales departments that insist on ringing a "Gong" for any member of staff that closes a deal, or has David Brent-like bosses who say "Good Morning Winners !" to the staff in the mornings. Truly cringe-inducing.

Have a Nice Day !

[amcdonald]

Could you also take into account companies who make their call centre staff ask your name (Mary), then say "is it Ok if I call you Mary today?"

Is that because some of their clients are only Mary on Fridays

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Compared to Saddam and Gadaffi, that's trivial. Unless of course she ordered the mass torture and execution of uk nationals that didn't make it in to the papers ?

I'm just saying, a sense of perspective, perhaps.

Perspective? On here?

Seriously, though you are right of course.

[amcdonald]

Any company with a mission statement should be shot as well

[TykeMerc]

Well Saddam is dead and Gaddafi has other things to worry abbout atm, so I dont think they'll mind.