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Previously on "Cut off top of finger. Should go to hospital"

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  • Paddy
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Might head off sooner. Just went on got my son from nursery and pulled him back on a sledge. Got back to find blood all over the sledge. Still got four hours billing time to go though!
    Could just be your time of month.

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    STOP PRESS: If it was your ring finger, let the end drop off. Your chance of getting prostrate cancer will be slashed*
    It's the season for another one of those finger length theories





    * not really

    Leave a comment:


  • cailin maith
    replied
    Originally posted by configman View Post
    Did that some 40+ years ago, the whole tip came off and I put it in my pocket because I was afraid of getting told off. It got sewn back on later - but it took ages to have the confidence to pick my nose with it in case it stayed up there.

    Leave a comment:


  • configman
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Just trapped my finger in the door of a local shop. Big heavy metal door. The door closer didn't work and just closed at such a speed it gullotined my main typing finger.

    The nail cleanly cut off with a large gash going around half on one side. It's gone a little flip top(about ha;f the finger can be lifted up from 7-8mm) but hasn't swollen as the nail was cut off.

    Lots of blood all over the newly lain snow. The missus reckons I need stiches, but surely if I just sort of glue it together and wrap it tightly it will seal itself.

    Stiches or tightly wrapped padding???
    Did that some 40+ years ago, the whole tip came off and I put it in my pocket because I was afraid of getting told off. It got sewn back on later - but it took ages to have the confidence to pick my nose with it in case it stayed up there.

    Leave a comment:


  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    I think it's probably safe to say that with my roids playing up I lose more blood during an average movement than you've lost from your finger.

    Perhaps I should sue Armitage Shanks.
    My dear boy you have my sympathies.

    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    I think it's probably safe to say that with my roids playing up I lose more blood during an average movement than you've lost from your finger.

    Perhaps I should sue Armitage Shanks.

    Leave a comment:


  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    May have to limit posting. Doctors told me not to type!


    Leave a comment:


  • TykeMerc
    replied
    Originally posted by AtW View Post
    Tis but a scratch!
    It's just a flesh wound.

    YouTube - Monty Python-The Black Knight

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    May have to limit posting. Doctors told me not to type!

    Popped back to the shop where it happened with my finger bandaged. Waved it at the owner who 'laughed'

    'Could only happen to you MF' she said.

    Someone else walked in, let go of the door and it flew shut with so much force he went 'jesus thats got a spring on it!'

    'You have to use the handle' She said. 'Accidents happen!'

    Basically the door is going to decapitate someone. They noticed it first thing this morning. I've told them to fix it by tomorrow.

    She was completely non plussed when told she could be sued (Not me, the insurance company!!!!)

    I know them well as I supply them goods, but regardless, if she doesn't sort by end of the week I'll inform the local council.

    Leave a comment:


  • AtW
    replied
    Originally posted by Alf W View Post
    It it gets infected from a dirty door you could lose your whole arm.
    Tis but a scratch!

    Leave a comment:


  • Clippy
    replied
    Tsk, the lengths some posters go to to try and outdo NickFitz.

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Can we nominate MF for a Darwin Award if he spends his dying moments posting on CUK?

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    A virtual pound says he posts again before going.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
    I'm pretty sure that is it really was "still pissing blood" you would be dead by now (and not still moaning!) so stop acting the maggot and go to get it fixed.
    Going now.

    Leave a comment:


  • cailin maith
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Given up now. Keyboard is covered in blood. Obviously after four hours and it's still pissing blood then I've damaged it. Using the mouse is a pain.

    Phoned in client to say won't be finished on time. Going to lose a days money!!!!!
    I'm pretty sure that if it really was "still pissing blood" you would be dead by now (and not still moaning!) so stop acting the maggot and go to get it fixed.
    Last edited by cailin maith; 30 November 2010, 15:42.

    Leave a comment:

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