Reply to: Neighbours golden retriever

[RichardCranium]

a video of a Gold Retriever giving some old lady a good seeing to - much to her surprise - and now I think I won't. So there.

OK, so I'm weak-willed.

YouTube - cane NSFW. Never played it with the sound on so I have no idea whether there is laughing, music or what going on in the background.


1st lady in vet: "I'm getting Fido de-wormed. How about you?"
2nd lady in vet: "I was just going from the shower to the bedroom when Rover pushed me over and gave me a seeing to."
1st lady in vet: "Oo-er. Are you having him neutered?"
2nd lady in vet: "No, I'm getting his claws clipped."

[RichardCranium]

So we've had suggestions to tulip on his lawn, throw the tulip at his house, start a tulipty fire on his door step and yet the thread gets a "richard going too far" tag?

I was just about to post a video of a Gold Retriever giving some old lady a good seeing to - much to her surprise - and now I think I won't. So there.

[Pogle]

Renta-poop and Skulldoggery

Sounds like a children's TV programme.

Or some dodgy sexual practice!

Who's going to look on Urban Dictionary then

[Pogle]

Nah, Rotties are soppy.
You need a Jack Russell - they don't take no sh*t from no one!

I had a cat (Bertie) who stood up to an annoying Jack Russell. The dog was obviously not used to animals standing up to him and fighting back. Bertie did not run away when the dog tried to chase him.
He just sat there, then hissed at the dog and swiped his nose with his claws, Jack Russel turned tail and ran off yelping. Hilarious

Bertie lived a long and happy life and died a few years ago. I'm not sure about the doggie

[norrahe]

Renta-poop and Skulldoggery

Sounds like a children's TV programme.

[Cliphead]

Skulldoggery!

[Sysman]

Damn dogs. Next door's got into our garden a couple of times last year and damaged my collection of skulls round the pond..

Skulldoggery!

[Sysman]

Father in law or dog?

No, the elephant.

[RichardCranium]

Anyway, I'm off to cr ap on my neighbour's doorstep

;-)

Are you available for hire? You might have a viable Plan B there.

What do you think, EO? Would you use a Rent-a-Poop service? I see the terms Rent-a-Poop/tulip/Turd are rare on Google, so it might be a winner.

"Hire one of our Grumpy Old Gits. They'll shamble along, tulip on your neighbour's lawn, them shamble off again, muttering to themselves. They are immune to being shouted at (they're as deaf as posts) and anyone abusing them will find themselves beaten with a walking stick until the neighbours call the Police." One lawn turd for just £25.

Summer special offer: 3 Little Old Ladies discussing prolapses, diverticulitis, weeping leg ulcers and unsuccessful haemorrhoid treatment in very loud voices outside an open window for 90 minutes for just £100. With a free "Excuse me dear, is this the stop for the number 19?" whilst wetting herself like a horse on your target victim's doorstop, FREE!"

[RichardCranium]

Nah, Rotties are soppy.
You need a Jack Russell - they don't take no sh*t from no one!

Nice pun.

My brother's Jack Russell's mother emasculated an Alsation.

[ctdctd]

Nah, Rotties are soppy.
You need a Jack Russell - they don't take no sh*t from no one!

[Zippy]

I've been thinking about this and have come to the conclusion that you need a Rottweiler EO.
1) Turds are much bigger,so do pop round to the neighbours lawn
2) If said retriever ever sets a paw in your garden again it'll be toast.

[Ruprect]

If you're really pissed off you could always snap one off on his doorstep yourself...

[Ruprect]

That's a cowardly way out. Confronting the guy is probably the hardest, and most sensible , option.

EO: if you're scared of dogs then shout from the front door, so you can beat a hasty if he sics it on you. GR's are fairly friendly though aren't they.

If you do want to just give him the poo back, picking it up on a shovel and flinging it at his walls/door/window would be most effective as he's have to scrub it off.

Yes, perhaps, but flinging it at his house definitely is not

[Sysman]

Stick in a paper bag, place on the neighbour's doorstep, light it and ring the bell.

Believe it or not, that suggestion was in the Sunday Times in 1976.

They also suggested pointing the open end of the paper bag so that the contents would hit the carpet when stamped on.