Reply to: Dilemma

[norrahe]

I tried it when he was younger and my head nearly exploded trying to do it by myself....we muddle along with me being a lot stronger now, and recognising that he may have inherited some of his Mum's temper. La la.

Didn't think about asking the agent, I might try that! Like you say, WFH even one day would make a big difference. If the programme I am on wasn't due to end this year, there wouldn't be a dilemma at all.

WFH is not a big deal these days and a lot of companies are glad if people do. All you can do is ask and they might say no, if not then you don't lose out.

[MaryPoppins]

controlled crying! - we lasted 45 mins and then read with her til she fell asleep til she was about 6 and could read herself.
We just couldn't handle it

I suspect your gut instinct is to stay near to home, but don't discount asking about working from home. I ALWAYS ask the pimp about the possibilities, in fact Pimps have tried to tempt me off my current contract with Fridays at home as they know how much I'd like that.
Only you can decide which job to go with, but whichever you choose, don't feel guilty about it
(yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you will - it's a Mum thing )

I tried it when he was younger and my head nearly exploded trying to do it by myself....we muddle along with me being a lot stronger now, and recognising that he may have inherited some of his Mum's temper. La la.

Didn't think about asking the agent, I might try that! Like you say, WFH even one day would make a big difference. If the programme I am on wasn't due to end this year, there wouldn't be a dilemma at all.

[Drewster]

...........it's a Mum thing )

OI!!! Its a Dad thing too!! We don't work away cos we don't want to see the little darlings (or just to avoid them).....

We do what we need to.......... I miss the kids even now when working away.... fortunately when they were young I managed to commute mainly.... but Mums haven't got a monopoly on feelings you know!

<Windup hat on>
True we don't make as much fuss but......
</WHO>

[Pogle]

controlled crying! - we lasted 45 mins and then read with her til she fell asleep til she was about 6 and could read herself.
We just couldn't handle it

I suspect your gut instinct is to stay near to home, but don't discount asking about working from home. I ALWAYS ask the pimp about the possibilities, in fact Pimps have tried to tempt me off my current contract with Fridays at home as they know how much I'd like that.
Only you can decide which job to go with, but whichever you choose, don't feel guilty about it
(yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you will - it's a Mum thing )

[mudskipper]

It's a tough decision - not sure I agree it gets easier once they're at school either! Personally, I agree with the consensus, but it's your call. However, if you make the decision to stay put, why not go back to the new gig and say you're very keen, but concerned about the extra travelling time, and what's their attitude to homeworking? You'd have nothing to lose. Where I am, lots of people work from home one, two or more days a week - and not just mums which is great.

[Platypus]

5:30 ?? How awesome are you, we are working on controlled crying between 7 and 8pm which is tough but working and also gives me time after work.

Ah... controlled crying... I remember that

I was a counsellor for 'Cry-Sis' briefly (well, my then Mrs was but she was rubbish and always asked me to talk to the distraught parents when they phoned the helpline).

IIRC it worked fairly quickly (a few weeks) after which you can expect bliss

lukemg, I assume you're doing this? It really works!
Ferber method - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
EDIT, get the book here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Solve-Your-C...6535129&sr=8-1

[MaryPoppins]

5:30 ?? How awesome are you, we are working on controlled crying between 7 and 8pm which is tough but working and also gives me time after work.
Young kids adapt pretty easy and it is also too easy to ascribe any behaviour to a minor change and feel guilty about decisions.
Different for you as single mum but 40 miles is still doable and with support I wouldn't write this off if it is a good opportunity. On the other hand, keeping a local gig happy might be useful in the future for repeat business.
Oh and don't ever expect any kid to be grateful, it just isn't in their nature.

Oops, kiddy talk, we might get shot Luke.

He's one in a week, and is still a fairly bad sleeper during the night, but yes, his bedtime is never later than 6pm - but probs cos he's tired from bad nights!

A couple of v good points from everyone - thank you. Will sleep on it...

[DS23]

So, been offered a six month contract.... Should I be doing all I can to stay local now, or be thinking of the long game and aiming to save more so that I can be around more when he's older perhaps?

any chance you can mix and match? if not say get the childminding support in place and go for the cv and bank balance enhancing job. november will be round before you know it. travel is inevitable so get the skillset right to make the sacrifice worth it.

[norrahe]

I tend to agree with the consensus.... Stick to local and get as much time as you can being Mummy....
Money won't buy back the time.......

In the end it's what you really want to do irrespective of money. If you are comfortably off now and can get by, wait and see what gets offered in teh next 6 months.

If your preference is with being with your child, then stick with that.

After all fexibility is why we all contract.

[Drewster]

I tend to agree with the consensus.... Stick to local and get as much time as you can being Mummy....
Money won't buy back the time.......

[d000hg]

I say stick. You have enough new stuff going on right now.

[Wilmslow]

5:30 ?? How awesome are you.

I normally get home around 4:15pm.

Yes, a permie role, but 60 miles from home.

I am able to work 7-3 to avoid the traffic to enable me to commute daily

[lukemg]

5:30 ?? How awesome are you, we are working on controlled crying between 7 and 8pm which is tough but working and also gives me time after work.
Young kids adapt pretty easy and it is also too easy to ascribe any behaviour to a minor change and feel guilty about decisions.
Different for you as single mum but 40 miles is still doable and with support I wouldn't write this off if it is a good opportunity. On the other hand, keeping a local gig happy might be useful in the future for repeat business.
Oh and don't ever expect any kid to be grateful, it just isn't in their nature.

[gingerjedi]

You working now?

Yes, I'm in a permy role close to home.

I'm still looking for a contract role but the rate, duration and potential for extension has to meet a my criteria before I apply.

I'm beginning to sense frustration from some agents when I won't entertain some of their potential gigs as I'm no longer desperate... which is nice.

[shaunbhoy]

So, been offered a six month contract, with probable extension. I am already in contract until August, at a (very) local gig, and have been told I'm forecast to be extended to November.

My current role is fine, the rate is quite low, but I like the team and it is 2 miles away from home.

Newly offered role pays a lot more, but involves more travel, being around 40 miles away. Not a massive distance, but now, I have a small child to consider.

It would be good for the CV and would enable me to squirrel away a significant amount more in savings for our future, but might make picking him up from nursery occasionally difficult.

Even though family would help where needed I'm sure, it might mean I am not able to put him to bed at times. Not sure I like the idea of that.

Should I be doing all I can to stay local now, or be thinking of the long game and aiming to save more so that I can be around more when he's older perhaps?

Stay put for now MP. You won't get this time again with the little 'un. There will always be other contracts, but the sprog will only pass this way once, and you will regret missing any of it for a few extra bob. All IMHO of course.