Reply to: If you don't beat your child, then they're destined to failure

[norrahe]

Yeah, but he could never eat a whole one.

Must explain the partial vegetarianism

[NotAllThere]

Off topic but, Adolph Hitler... was fond of children...

Yeah, but he could never eat a whole one.

[shaunbhoy]

Never thought I'd see the day. In agreement with 2 Troll posts on the same topic.

I'm off to kick the cat!!

[NickFitz]

Off topic but, Adolph Hitler was an animal lover and was fond of children (if they were Germanic)

That's all right then

Adolf decided that he could never have children of his own, because the burden of following in his footsteps would be too harsh on them.

Thoughtful and modest

[Troll]

We haven't smacked any of our children for years - possibly the youngest three years ago. We have a great relationship with our children (ages 12,14 and 18), they don't cower when I come home from work . They still talk to us, their parents, and discuss what's going on with them. They still come to us with their problems. And they've learned how to take the piss out of us without crossing the line of disrespect. ( It's this last point I'm most proud of).

Exactly!!!... you trained them when they were young and are now reaping the benefits of well adjusted adolescents.

What people fail to grasp is that you cannot reason with a 2 year old

[NotAllThere]

I always viewed smacking as a type of nuclear deterrent. The threat was all that was usually necessary and I can count the total number of times I smacked the kids with one hand.

FTFY - "one (smack), two (smack), three (smack)...

I think smacking a child usually comes out of the parents frustration, anger and lack of self control.

I never smacked my kids when I had lost my temper. Most parents I know who smack also have this as a rule.

Probably as many smackers have broken this rule as non-smackers. It's that kind of hitting - out of frustration, anger, lack of self-control - that really isn't on.

I have tried to never even impose a punishment when I've lost my temper. Usually punishments imposed at such a time are out of all proportion to the offence.

We haven't smacked any of our children for years - possibly the youngest three years ago. We have a great relationship with our children (ages 12,14 and 18), they don't cower when I come home from work . They still talk to us, their parents, and discuss what's going on with them. They still come to us with their problems. And they've learned how to take the piss out of us without crossing the line of disrespect. ( It's this last point I'm most proud of).

[EternalOptimist]

I smacked all my kids three times, after the blood curdling warnings failed. I never had to do it again.
First was running into the road without looking
Second was going off with strangers
Third was being lippy in front of an audience

Tis true that some of the nicest people I ever met did not get a smack, tis also true that some of the nicest people DID get a smack. Who knows how people will turn out. We do our best and its fingers crossed

People who pontificate with certainty about how others should live their lives give me the heeby jeebies

[SueEllen]

So saying that; I do believe that kids need to be trained; they need to be able to function within society and I believe it's the duty of parents and not the school to ensure this is the case. To this end you need the carrot as well as the stick - but only the metaphorical stick.

It's the duty of both to maintain discipline and anyone who looks after the kids in the meantime. Kids will try it on with everyone who looks after them and once they realise they have to behave everywhere they don't do it. And you don't have to smack kids to ensure this.

I've met and been told of plenty of kids who will only behave with one person, however random that person is in their life. This causes problems for everyone else for example a friend of mine use to have neighbour's kids who would frequently be seen doing dangerous things. If she told them off they wouldn't do it but if their parents did they ignored them. So it got to the stage where the parents wouldn't even bother. Lucky for the kids they are still alive.

[Pogle]

I think smacking a child usually comes out of the parents frustration, anger and lack of self control.

I have myself in the past felt like I wanted to hit my child, but i consider myself civilised and have not.
That doesn't mean she isn't punished when she's done something wrong.

Both myself & Mr P had fathers who were very short tempered and handy with their fists. That is why we will never use physical violence on our child.
And NO being hit regularly did NOT make us better people, it just made us certain not to do the same to our children.

[Lockhouse]

I always viewed smacking as a type of nuclear deterrent. The threat was all that was usually necessary and I can count the total number of times I smacked the kids on one hand. It's not something I enjoyed having to do - ever. Smacking was usually instantaneous when directly encountering a severe offence - like throwing stones at a cat for example. If I'd have time to think about it, I'd always come up with a more suitable punishment. So saying that; I do believe that kids need to be trained; they need to be able to function within society and I believe it's the duty of parents and not the school to ensure this is the case. To this end you need the carrot as well as the stick - but only the metaphorical stick.

[NotAllThere]

In certain lines of work that can be an advantage

Yes. I was thinking of MPs as I wrote it...

...
Smacking kids equating to success does not follow what I see in supermarkets with angry chav mothers smacking their kids.

Where I live, it's the angry chav mothers not bringing their kids into line that causes the problems.

[Paddy]

Indeed.

Father : What's that errant son of mine been doing now ?
Mother : He's been tying the cat's legs together.
Father : Right, come here Adolf...

Oh how things could have turned out differently....

Off topic but, Adolph Hitler was an animal lover and was fond of children (if they were Germanic)

Smacking kids equating to success does not follow what I see in supermarkets with angry chav mothers smacking their kids.

[Spacecadet]

If a child has been brought up a selfish bastard, not knowing right from wrong, when they enter real life, which is unfair, nasty and doesn't owe you a living, they'll get a horrible shock.

In certain lines of work that can be an advantage

[sasguru]

Excellent. A very eloquent post. More like this please.



Why did I bother popping into cuk today?

WGAS. Next. HTH

[NotAllThere]

There is a difference between smacking and battering.

care enough to put personal squemishness aside give the child a smack when required to

While I don't think smacking is in anyway wrong, unfair or uncivilized, I'm pretty sure it's possible to bring up most kids to be decent without smacking. What I've found is that those parents who are most anti-smacking are also those who barely discipline their kids at all.

If you don't discipline your children (with or without smacking), then you are not caring for them. And you care more about your own feelings than the welfare of your child.

If a child has been brought up a selfish bastard, not knowing right from wrong, when they enter real life, which is unfair, nasty and doesn't owe you a living, they'll get a horrible shock.