Top 5 Threads you WANT to see ?

[Mat7777]

1. Brown leaves English PMstership' to lead Scots Parliament (down drain)

2. Carol Vorderman elected new chancellor

3. Euro ditched - GB pound new European currency

4. Immigration Problems solved

5. Teleporting Technology perfected - roads now free of numpties

[MrMark]

Anyway, here's my 5

1) UK database contractors in huge demand in Europe; what rate will you hold out for?

2) Vince Cable appointed new Chancellor.

3) Scotland to hold referendum on independence.

4) Monday mornings to be abolished; standard starting time of 11.30 am proposed for start of week

5) Govt proposes contractor tax free allowance of 15k to motivate economy.

[sasguru]

I'm just a fat pie-eating bloke and not special in any way - Threaded.
I've put my £10K life savings into an ISA - DimPrawn
SKA was a bad idea - AtWat
I'm leaving this forum - CyberCretin

[MrMark]

5. Alien contact established.

Yikes, that would make me soil my pants !!!!

At best they'd treat us as potential house-pets or slaves. At worst they'd eliminate us to take possession of prime estate Earth.

[thunderlizard]

My favourite internet forum posts are the ones that end with-

Google for "New World Order" IT'S ALL THERE!

[DiscoStu]

I've realised what a hopeless cause SKA is and I'm giving up

I've moved house again and get on really well with all my neighbours by Wilmslow

Any thread where CyberTory doesn't use the death or misfortune of others to make a retarded point that only he finds amusing.

I've got my Australia visa (by me )

Lets organise a piss-up to celebrate the abolition of IR35

[expat]

Suggestions include reintroduction of capital punishment, and execution of politicians the poster doesn't like.

Do you guys know what you sound like? Do you know what kind of countries that would put us in with? Is that the kind on country you want to live in?

[Menelaus]

1. Inverness Caley Thistle return to and win SPL
2. Focus on science - no child leaves school without being fully numerate
3. Focus on science - maths degree applications increase by factor of 10
4. Focus on science - all students must take a science A level
5. Menelaus wins Fields medal

... ah, a boy can dream.

[DaveB]

Follow me on Twitter - I don't know how long I can keep that up; it's a stupid thing.

I'm impressed. 14 updates containing 16 flips, 6 ****'s and 2 tulips.

Your use of profanity is truly epic in it's proportions

[HairyArsedBloke]

1. Execution dates set for B'Liar, snot goblin, et al.
2. Tickets go on sale for said event.
3. .... more of the same ....

[Alf W]

1. Where will you be watching Thatcher's funeral?
2. City win Champions League as United get relegated.
3. Been offered an extension with only a 15% rate rise. Should I take it?
4. Choked to death on my lunch.
5. UK TV channels announce ban on reality TV shows.

[oracleslave]

What would make your day / life / existence ?

Sports to be cut

Why would that make your existence? Surely that's fairly trivial in the grand scheme of things?

[Fred Bloggs]

"Gov't introduces £15,000 per year personal tax free allowance and a flat 15% rate tax on all classes of income and capital, abolishes all other tax allowances".

[Board Game Geek]

Imagine waking up tomorrow, and seeing the news and various threads on CUK.

What would make your day / life / existence ?

I'll throw a few in to start.

1. Government to focus on Science in Schools. Sports to be cut, to make room for more intensive schooling in the sciences.

2. Anti-Corruption Tsar appointed to the Governement to root out fraudulent activities.

3. Capital punishment reintroduced for serious crimes.

4. Phased CCTV removal

5. Alien contact established.