Reply to: Toilet Etiquette

[PaulCD]

everyone needs a little 'them' time when they're on the big white telephone...in this mad 100 mph world we live in it's the ONLY bit of peace there is and should NEVER be interrupted.

Don't touch me pint

Don't interupt me during dump

simple as....

[voodooflux]

When I was potty trainng my son, my friend brought me a little plastic ball you put in the loo, the idea being I got my son to aim at it whist doing a wee - if you hit it it played a little Tune well it made a noise anyway).

Sounds like fun - where can I buy one? For the kids, of course

[zara_backdog]

Those guys would never had made it into the Dam Buster Squadron. Perhaps their aim would be improved if they had Wallis' bomb sights fitted on to their thighs and the Dam Busters theme music played in the background.

Funny you should mention that...

When I was potty trainng my son, my friend brought me a little plastic ball you put in the loo, the idea being I got my son to aim at it whist doing a wee - if you hit it it played a little Tune well it made a noise anyway).

[Rookie]

Those guys would never had made it into the Dam Buster Squadron. Perhaps their aim would be improved if they had Wallis' bomb sights fitted on to their thighs and the Dam Busters theme music played in the background.

Possible Plan B TimberWolf? Will you patent it?

[Mich the Tester]

Those guys would never had made it into the Dam Buster Squadron. Perhaps their aim would be improved if they had Wallis' bomb sights fitted on to their thighs and the Dam Busters theme music played in the background.

I think they were more suited to Bomber Harris´s area bombing squadrons. Quick and dirty but very effective for demoralizing the locals.

[TimberWolf]

Maybe that explains the skidmarks on the seat at the bank where I spent the last year.

Those guys would never had made it into the Dam Buster Squadron. Perhaps their aim would be improved if they had Wallis' bomb sights fitted on to their thighs and the Dam Busters theme music played in the background.

[Mich the Tester]

The BT office i was at had a huge problem with the Indians standing on the toilets. Obviously ensuring accurate delivery of the payload can be tricky from altitude, so the cleaners had the thankless task of cleaning up the resulting collateral damage off the floors a few times a week. Plus they broke the seats.

Maybe that explains the skidmarks on the seat at the bank where I spent the last year.

[Stolly]

We used to get a load of that when I was at BT mainly from the large contingent of Indian workers there. It's horrible, especially when some don't even rinse it out of the sink afterwards.

The BT office i was at had a huge problem with the Indians standing on the toilets. Obviously ensuring accurate delivery of the payload can be tricky from altitude, so the cleaners had the thankless task of cleaning up the resulting collateral damage off the floors a few times a week. Plus they broke the seats.

[Clippy]

He is Wilmslow in disguise and I claim my 5 sheets.

Shouldn't that be sh!ts?

[BolshieBastard]

At my US banking client, a senior manager recently circulated an email about human excrement regularly being found on the toilet floors.

He went on to add that this was not pleasant for the cleaners to have to deal with and that it was unacceptable behaviour. Should human excrement continue to be found on toilet floors, measures would be taken to identify the culprit(s)! with disciplinary action up to and including termination being possible.

He finished the mail by saying the ladies toilets was no place for such disgusting behaviour! (I kid you not!!)

[Peoplesoft bloke]

and when you think there is a roll of bog roll next to them, what makes them think that the wall is a better place for it?

I dunno - same thing that makes some people think the best thing to do with bog roll is tear a few sheets off and throw it on the floor I expect.

[OwlHoot]

True. Dutch bog manufacturers employ PhD level mathematicians from the Technical Universities of Delft and Twente to precisely calculate the optimum impact point of a stream of pee against the ceramic bowl to avoid the terrors of splashback, and then a small fly is placed at the ideal spot. I think it’s actually a British idea, but considering the many different urinal designs and modern materials this no splashback point must be calculated for each new bog design. I bet some programmer could make a fortune if he wrote an application that automatically places the fly as the graphic designer designs the shape. Maybe someone already has done though. Testing would be interesting.

a small bee (probably)

The Latin for bee is "apis" ("a piss")

[BoredBloke]

Why the **** do people do that? You need to worry though when people start spelling out words in bogies like "Help me" or "I'M WATCHING YOU!".

and when you think there is a roll of bog roll next to them, what makes them think that the wall is a better place for it?

[Lockhouse]

Thought banks in the City were hiring people from red brick Unis, well mannered chaps etc?

Nope. Much cheapness, plenty quickness in this office these days.

[EternalOptimist]

You do have an interesting vocabulary

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