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Previously on "God won't give you a happy ending"

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  • AlfredJPruffock
    replied
    I tell you - God is a rotten ba@stard - he fights dirty too - as somebody who has not just experinced but confronted God and challenged him to a fight - Im not talking from a theoretical stance but from experience.

    Dont forget that He gave you all the sinful ingredients as well - the rotten sod.

    And dont think that You can stand up to him and do your John Wayne - just look at Jobs experience when God had let his children die.

    Praying wont help you either.

    God Off .

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Originally posted by FSM with Cheddar View Post
    And if you do follow him, you get the special opportunity to contemplate for all eternity, the pain and suffering of you friends and family that are burning in the sulphurous fires of hell.
    That would negate heaven. Or maybe we wouldn't care.

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Even then, if the dirty 'gyptians had also slaughtered a lamb etc., they too would have been passed over. And if any of the Hebrews didn't, then their first born would have snuffed it too.

    Leave a comment:


  • FSM with Cheddar
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    If you don't follow Jesus, you can go to hell.
    And if you do follow him, you get the special opportunity to contemplate for all eternity, the pain and suffering of you friends and family that are burning in the sulphurous fires of hell.

    Leave a comment:


  • FSM with Cheddar
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    Some of

    hth
    oh yeah, sorry only the baddie babies.

    silly me

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
    Um, Christianity has never been about fluffy happiness for everybody. That's just what the PC brigade have made it to avoid offending anybody.
    If you don't follow Jesus, you can go to hell.

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Originally posted by FSM with Cheddar View Post
    Yeah, I like the bit where god kills all the first born.
    Some of

    hth

    Leave a comment:


  • FSM with Cheddar
    replied
    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
    Um, Christianity has never been about fluffy happiness for everybody. That's just what the PC brigade have made it to avoid offending anybody.
    Yeah, I like the bit where god kills all the first born.

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Originally posted by Ruprect View Post
    So says the Archbishop. We're all screwed and he knows it; its just not God's fault. Its yours, you sinner, because he gave you free will.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7964880.stm
    Um, Christianity has never been about fluffy happiness for everybody. That's just what the PC brigade have made it to avoid offending anybody.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ruprect
    replied
    Originally posted by FSM with Cheddar View Post
    OT - Nah didn't get much. Although I've been told there is a bonus scheme. Have to buy 5 bags to find out what it is.
    5 bags to find out what your true "bag target" is - probably around 100

    Leave a comment:


  • FSM with Cheddar
    replied
    John Cravenis my Sunday morning god.

    OT - Nah didn't get much. Although I've been told there is a bonus scheme. Have to buy 5 bags to find out what it is.

    Leave a comment:


  • ace00
    replied
    Originally posted by Zippy View Post
    Point of order - one is not supposed to blow

    HTH
    Advanced technique.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ruprect
    replied
    Back on topic - the mash's take on this - always worth a read

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/s...-200903261666/

    THE Archbishop of Canterbury talked himself out of a job last night.

    In a keynote sermon the head of the Anglican church insisted that God didn't care, praying was a waste of time and that we are all completely on our own.

    Speaking at York Minster, Dr Rowan Williams, said: "God is not going to do anything so stop praying because it just makes you look stupid.


    "Does he even exist? How the hell should I know? What I can tell you is that not once in the entire history of the world has he intervened to stop bad things happening and I certainly don't expect him to start now.

    "Famine, genocide, global warming - if you're waiting for God to sort it out you'd better bring a flask and a packed lunch because you will be there all day.

    "I suppose there might be a God, but even if there is I suspect he's a very lazy, selfish God who finds you and all your friends incredibly tedious."


    Experts stressed that if God was either indifferent or did not exist then then it raised the important theological question of what the **** was the point of the Archbishop of Canterbury.

    Dr Julian Cook, of Gibb's College, Oxford, said: "And if God's not going to do anything about global warming then why the hell am I listening to this fruitcake talking about it? We may as well make Michael Fish the Archbishop of Canterbury."

    Dr Williams added: "Anyway, this does mean you will have to find something else to do on Sunday mornings between 11 and 12. Personally I'm a big fan of Countryfile."




    Leave a comment:


  • Ruprect
    replied
    Originally posted by FSM with Cheddar View Post
    What happens when it is proven that free will is just an illusion?
    Shirley the blame will then have to lie squarely with god.
    OT - did you manage to get a teabagging in exchange for the purse?

    Leave a comment:


  • FSM with Cheddar
    replied
    Originally posted by Ruprect View Post
    So says the Archbishop. We're all screwed and he knows it; its just not God's fault. Its yours, you sinner, because he gave you free will.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7964880.stm
    What happens when it is proven that free will is just an illusion?
    Shirley the blame will then have to lie squarely with god.

    Leave a comment:

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