Reply to: What religion should I join?

[FSM with Cheddar]

Is it real ale or lager?

We don't serve any of the syrupy cr@p.

Only real ale.

P.S.

We also have a 30 day try before you buy policy. If you don't like our religion after 30 days, you can go back to your old one (your old god will most likely take you back i.e. Parable of the prodigal son).

[thelace]

Join my church and you get the following benefits in heaven:
A stripper factory.
A beer volcano.

Is it real ale or lager?

[Moscow Mule]

Is that the one where Alanis Morrisette is God?

Yes.

[Ruprect]

It's Noodly.

Join my church and you get the following benefits in heaven:
A stripper factory.
A beer volcano.

Note: the output of the stripper factory is tailored for your requirements, and you can only see your strippers. So don't worry about seeing anyone else's that you would prefer not to.

Thanks FSM.

[cailin maith]

Ever seen Dogma? Matt Damon persuades a nun that she should sleep with him as "it's what god would want". Quite funny.

Is that the one where Alanis Morrisette is God?

[Moscow Mule]

Then alas she explained that was in the past and she knew better now Jesus had shown her the way. that pesky Jesus, spoils all the fun!

Ever seen Dogma? Matt Damon persuades a nun that she should sleep with him as "it's what god would want". Quite funny.

[Cyberman]

I'm joining your religion.

The gods must have seen favour with your CyberBigotry.

You obviously have no idea of the meaning of the word bigot.

[FSM with Cheddar]

there were two women in my bed. They were both nuns who had been allocated my room in error.

I'm joining your religion.

The gods must have seen favour with your CyberBigotry.

[Cyberman]

I had just returned from a night out in Killarney and was getting undressed ready for bed, when there was a rustling of the sheets, the bedside light came on and there were two women in my bed. They were both nuns who had been allocated my room in error.

[FSM with Cheddar]

Definately noodly. Or is it Noodley. FSM with Cheddar will confirm. Basically gravity is unproven and just a "theory", and the gospel of the FSM confirms that we are actually held to earth and don't go floating away because His Noodl(e)y Appendages press us down. Makes sense when you think about it.

It's Noodly.

Join my church and you get the following benefits in heaven:
A stripper factory.
A beer volcano.

Note: the output of the stripper factory is tailored for your requirements, and you can only see your strippers. So don't worry about seeing anyone else's that you would prefer not to.

[bogeyman]

The rest of the family were there also, so it probably would have been wrong. Although these were the days before CCTV

Would have made the top 10 on YouTube for sure!

[Bagpuss]

Goddamn! That pesky Jesus!

Did it not occur to you to say "Ok. I'll sign up if I can fekk you, here and now" ?

The rest of the family were there also, so it probably would have been wrong. Although these were the days before CCTV

[bogeyman]

years ago I remember walking through my home town on the way to the pub when appraoched by some born again christians who pounced upon us.
This one rather endowed MILF proceeded to tell me in fairly graphic detail about the debauched life she had led, the casual sex, the affairs etc. etc. I was becoming quite aroused and willing to let God into my life if this was the deal... Then alas she explain that was in the past and she knew better now Jesus had shown her the way. that pesky Jesus, spoils all the fun!

Goddamn! That pesky Jesus!

Did it not occur to you to say "Ok. I'll sign up if I can fekk you, here and now" ?

[DaveB]

Like the life of brian stuff about people's judean front and people's front of judea?

Probably more along the lines of :

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

[Bagpuss]

years ago I remember walking through my home town on the way to the pub when appraoched by some born again christians who pounced upon us.
This one rather endowed MILF proceeded to tell me in fairly graphic detail about the debauched life she had led, the casual sex, the affairs etc. etc. She stood quite close panting exitedly in my ear, bussoms a' heaving. As you can imagine I was becoming quite aroused and willing to let God into my life if this was the deal... Then alas she explained that was in the past and she knew better now Jesus had shown her the way. that pesky Jesus, spoils all the fun!